We’re On A Budget, Should Our Kids Be, Too?
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My husband and I have no choice but to tighten our financial belts right now. We’re cutting back on a lot of our normal activities and expenses in order to stay afloat.
As part of our new financial plan, I think it’s become necessary to reduce our pre-teen sons’ allowance from $10 a week to $7. However, my husband doesn’t agree and thinks that by doing so we’re “punishing” them. What do you say?
Signed,
Livin’ La Vida Budget
_____________________________
Dear Livin’ La Vida Budget,
First of all, I commend you for sucking it up and taking care of your finances in a responsible manner. If more people were like you, we wouldn’t have pawnshops bursting with flat screen TVs, diamond rings and solid gold toilet seats. It’s like everyone thinks they’re Lil Wayne all of a sudden. And trust me, Chardonnay doesn’t taste any better in a $500 jewel-encrusted pimp cup with mink handles. (OK, I’m lying. IT SO TOTALLY DOES!!)
The good news is that you and your husband seem to be on the same page for most of this financial overhaul, which we hope will ultimately lead to less stress for everyone. Like they say, “the family that saves together, stays together.” Or maybe it’s “the family that saves together, stays in crappy Motel 6′s and gets bitten by bed bugs together”—I can never remember. At any rate, be happy and proud that you two are working together on this dilemma.
That said, I question your motivation regarding the reduction of the preteens’ allowance. Is it because you think an extra $6 a week is necessary for your budget? Or do you want to teach them a lesson about financial responsibility? Show them that everyone has to make sacrifices? If it’s the latter, then you need to get that point across to your husband in a “I want this to be a life lesson so they grow up and don’t have to struggle” type of way.
However, if it’s the former and you’re just cutting their money because you’re cutting everything, I’d advise you to reconsider. Ten bucks is a lot of money to a (probably unemployed) preteen and gives them the freedom they crave at this age. After all, there’s no bigger rush than buying a bottle of Justin Bieber perfume with your own money. At least that’s what I told the clerk at Macy’s last week when she saw me doing cartwheels in the cosmetics department. (Beliebers UNITE!)
Maybe the best thing to do is simply offer a compromise. Reduce the kids’ allowance by $3 each, then give them small jobs to earn it back or have them find a way to reduce the family budget by that same amount. Either way, they’ll definitely be learning the values of money, responsibility and family.
Now if we could just teach them to Lil Wayne.
Good luck,
Wendi, TMH
16 Responses to “We’re On A Budget, Should Our Kids Be, Too?”
Comment by SuperMOm.
Awesome answer. Before I had even finished reading the suggestion, I was thinking that it’s not a bad thing at all to teach them about life…we all have to live it. But, they can pick up extra chores to earn the extra money. That’s a win-win situation for the entire family.
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Comment by Mynde.
Great response. In addition, if I may add, the extra $6 a week isn’t going to make much difference in your household budget. And if the family is tightening the old money belt- they are going to be making sacrifices already (no family movies, no pizza ordering, cancelling the cable TV, no movie rentals- all the extra stuff). Let that be the lesson from which they learn. I know we’ve had to help our kids to understand about our budget as a family so that they with stop begging for flipping everything.
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Comment by Plano Mom.
This is excellent advice, because it involves the kids in the family budget decisions. We have been blessed and rarely have budget issues, however we do frequently talk with our kids about expendable income and how we choose to spend it. We’ve also given our kids an allowance, but stipulated that a certain percentage (it varies with age and time of year) be saved so they can afford to purchase something that we may not choose to spend our extra income on. They are an integral part of the family budget discussions.
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Comment by Bean.
What about cut that’s more in line with what they’re getting? 30% seems like a lot to me – are you cutting your budget that much? Perhaps $1 less per week would be more fair.
I think there’s a big difference between saying “we’re going to live in a budget and we’re all making cuts” and “we’re worrying about every cent”. Budgets are a great lesson to learn at any age – as is rolling with the punches of a lousy economy.
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Comment by Texas Mom.
I think the concepts of “allowance” is not a good idea at all; it cultivates “gimme” mentality. Giving allowance is teaching kids that they can expect money for doing nothing. Paying them commission for chores teaches them life skills: when you work, you get paid. If you don’t work, you don’t get paid.
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danielle Reply:
September 19th, 2011 at 11:59 am
So you simply don’t like the word allowance?
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Texas Mom Reply:
September 19th, 2011 at 12:22 pm
No, “allowance” (giving a child money regularly with no strings attached) is what doesn’t work for us. If our children can take out the trash, help out with household chores, etc, then I am willing to pay them a commission (compensation for work done based on percentage of our household income) for the work. If the children don’t help out and sit on their asses instead, that means “no money for you at the end of the week.” It’s how the real world works. It’s a lesson in work ethic that is important for my kids to learn, but I understand that this concept is not for everyone.
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danielle Reply:
September 19th, 2011 at 12:30 pm
See, maybe it’s just my area but we do have to work for our allowance. I don’t know anyone who calls it compensation for work done based on percentage of household income. Too complicated. Just call it allowance.
Emily Reply:
September 19th, 2011 at 3:03 pm
and I think that they should be taught to help out around the house because they are a member of the family. Allowance is different and shouldn’t be tied to things like chores. Extra large chores and extra money, sure.
But you help out around the house because you’re a member of the family. Not because you are making money and treating the household like a job.
Comment by Angie Uncovered.
I like the ideas that flow here!
While I did not give my children allowance, I did allow them to do extra small tasks above and beyond their weekly chores to earn extra spending money.
Perhaps the lesson can be given and a the small amount that you reduce the allowance can be placed into a savings account?
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Comment by GrandeMocha.
I am amzed at how early my son grasped the concept of his money vs mommy’s money. He is tight with a buck when I say I’m not buying that but feel free to spend your money on it. He still thinks my money grows on trees.
I give him $1/day to help with chores around the house. He was really good about doing them over the summer. Now that he’s back in school, not so good. If I don’t ask or he doesn’t do the chore, he doesn’t get paid.
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Comment by Christa.
Great advice, but now I need to buy myself a $500 jewel-encrusted pimp cup with mink handles.
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Comment by Friday Round-Up: Finance, Parenting and Mom Blogs | MomVesting.
[...] at The Mouthy Housewives gives some great advice to a mom who asks "We’re on a Budget; Should Our Kids be on One Too?” Check out all the jewel-encrusted-pimp-cup, Motel 6, Justin Bieber [...]
Comment by We are Drowning in Bills and My Husband is No Help! | The Mouthy Housewives.
[...] of all, I’m so sorry for your financial problems and anxiety. This sounds like a really rough time for you. Take some deep breaths. (Yes, I promise [...]
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sisterfunkhaus Reply:
September 19th, 2011 at 8:56 am
This is a good point. They will already get the experience of the cut backs without their allowance being cut. Cutting their allowance will make it even harder for them. I wouldn’t do it. As much as I am into being honest about money, I wouldn’t harp on the fact that the family is having to cut back. You don’t want them to sit around worrying about your financial problems. That isn’t really fair to them.
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