We’ve got another guest Mouthy Housewife joining us today! This time, The Mouthy Housewives welcome the lovely Megan Anderson of Rad Megan: In Words and Pictures. Megan is a craft blogger and all-around rockstar, and I love her despite the fact that she makes my family craft hour look like bathroom graffiti at the state penitentiary. (THANKS MEGAN.) Her blog hosts a pirate’s bounty worth of crafting, cooking, and gardening ideas.
And just recently, Megan created an online tutorial that guides you through the art of craft photography, so it looks like there might be hope for the rest of us!
Today, she’s got some insight for a bride-to-be that is competing for the attention of her soon-to-be groom with her in-laws. Take it away, Megan! –Kristine
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My fiancÃ© and I wanted a private wedding ceremony this fall, but his parents found out and were extremely upset. They tried guilting him into involving at least their family, completely disregarding our wishes for a wedding we are paying for. Thankfully he has somewhat fended for us, but he did so by lying to them, telling his family that we are not getting married until next summer with a “traditional” wedding. (But the truth is that we’re just going to go through with it without telling anyone.)
Cue more problems. Our secret wedding is next month and everything was looking well until his vacation time had the possibility of being obliterated. He told his supervisor that he really needs the time off, but refuses to tell them that it’s due to us getting married because…wait for it…his dad works at the same company! I get that he wants to not upset his family until after we’ve already gone through with it, but I find it pretty ridiculous that he feels he can’t fight for his vacation. He seems more concerned about their feelings than the possibility all our wedding plans may get royally screwed.
He tells me I’m overreacting, but I don’t know. We are starting a family, and yet it feels it is being somewhat controlled by his family. What do you think?
Dear Sidelined Bride,
Congrats on your upcoming nuptials! As someone who eloped in Hawaii, I understand the allure of a low-cost/low-stress “private” wedding ceremony. I also appreciate how challenging it can be when the family gets wind of the plans and then tries to change them. From their point of view, a wedding is a day to be shared with loved ones. From yours, it’s an intimate, private occasion. Your fiancÃ©’s point of view is…well…what, exactly? I’m sure you two are both stoked about starting your lives together, but if he’s waffling about taking time off to get married, we’ve got a wee issue.
Would the Princess Bride have been the romantic cinematic benchmark it was if Westley had said, “As long as it’s ok with my parents” instead of “As you wish?”
I’m not saying your fiancÃ© needs to prove his love by bowing to your every request, but I think you two need to be on the same page when it comes to the kind of wedding you are actually having. I’m guessing that if he lied to his family and said there would be a traditional wedding next summer, a teeny weenie part of him WANTS that. While it is your day, “mawwage” is full of compromise; so understanding what’s really important to the both of you should be laid out on the table before the rings are exchanged. Maybe you guys sneak off and have your quickie ceremony (if that’s what you’re both into) and then plan a family-friendly reception next summer complete with vow-reenactment and Andre the Giant ablaze outside the church. It may feel like the in-laws are pulling the strings, but if you and Westley (or, whatever your fiancÃ©’s name is) are united as a team, everything else will fall into place.
Talk it out, really listen to each other, and have fun storming the castle!
Megan, Guest TMH