Dear Mouthy Housewives,
In January, I drove an hour and a half to go to a baby shower for my husband’s niece. I knew no one there and the weather was bad but I was happy to do it. I am also the one who bought the gift, wrapped it, got the card, etc. That’s fine (really).
So here’s how I found out that my husband’s niece gave birth. Today I happened to call home from work and heard a voicemail from a few days ago that she had the baby. Unless we call our home voicemail, we don’t know there are messages. I called my husband, frantic, because I figured he didn’t know. He knew. His sister called him. He said he posted it on his Facebook, didn’t I see it? I said I don’t really have access to Facebook at work, or time, and don’t really look to Facebook to find out information from my husband. Do I have a right to be upset or am I over reacting?
It could be PMS
Not only do you have a right to be upset with your husband, but I wouldn’t be letting his niece off that easy, either. Who does she think she is, giving birth and then just leaving a voicemail message for you? It used to be that women wouldn’t so much as take a break from picking turnips in the fields while birthing babies, so the very least that she could have done was drive an hour and a half to tell you the good news in person. And possibly give you her baby. If it’s not colicky, of course.
As for your husband, I’m afraid that he’s doing what many men do. Because while you heard “Do you promise to love and cherish” I can guarantee that he heard “Do you relinquish your right and responsibility to buy gifts for members of your immediate family and do you understand that your wife will henceforth be responsible for the same?”
No one likes to be unappreciated. Talk to your husband. Explain that although you were happy to participate in the prenatal festivities, learning about the baby’s birth the way that you did made you feel like an afterthought. This may be a good time to review with him what is and what is not appropriate information to relay to you via Facebook. For example, “My wife is the best!” is okay; “Out of Preparation-H, please pick up some more” not so much.