09 Mar
The iPhone Has Stolen My Husband

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

My husband is ALWAYS on his iPhone. I get home from work, the kids are running amok, and he is sitting in what used to be my reading nook, on his iPhone doing I don’t know what, but it’s very engrossing. On the weekends, he will sit outside on the patio when it is nice and watch full movies on his iPhone.

And it is a 3GS – God help me when he upgrades to a 4 or 5. He is under a grandfathered data plan (thankfully) but his 3G data alone is 800 MB per month, so when you add what he is eating at home off Wi-Fi, it is A LOT.

He is completely oblivious to things around him that need to HAPPEN – like dinner or folding some laundry.

Signed,

Widowed by the iPhone

______________________________

Dear Widowed by the iPhone,

Obviously the quickest way to get rid of his iPhone is to go out and buy him an iPad.   But somehow I don’t think that will have him diving into a basket of laundry or grilling up pork chops.

At times, all of us want to escape the chaos of chattering children and piles of housework. But we buck up. Because children left on their own will eat chocolate malt balls and candy corn for dinner.   Plus, it really sucks when you ignore the laundry and have no clean underwear. So it’s time your husband peeled his eyes away from that phone and started pitching in.

Now I’ve never met a man who picked up on subtle hints. You can be huffing and puffing away in the corner, resenting every moment he is on that stupid phone and all he’s picking up is… “My wife is acting strange. She must be upset about the voting on American Idol or the dog’s haircut. ” And then a moment later, he is back focused on the latest baseball stats from spring training.

You need to communicate your needs to him. You want him to more present in your life.   This means helping with the house and dinner.   Spending real time with you on the weekends.   Playing with your children.   Because often all of us are so busy looking down that we miss what is right in front of us.   I may have read that on a greeting card but that doesn’t make it any less true.

Maybe the guy needs a little downtime when he gets home from work. Fine. Set the timer for 15 minutes and when it dings, the phone is history until everyone is tucked into bed and the house is cleaned up.   And guess what? The next night, you get 15 minutes of downtime. All’s fair in love and iPhones.

Good luck,

Signed,

Kelcey, TMH

15 Responses to “The iPhone Has Stolen My Husband”

03.09.11#1

Comment by Desperate Dietwife.

Kelcey gave me an idea: stop cooking for your husband and washing & ironing his laundry till he drops that bloody i-phone and when he starts noticing that something’s wrong, just tell him that you need his presence as badly as he needs your work around him, so he doesn’t get any cooked meal or laundered clothes (and underwear!) until he agrees to share his time with his family.
Until then, he is the one who’s got to cook and launder for himself… which is going to take time off his i-phone anyway.

03.09.11#2

Comment by mbjensen.

Kelcey – so glad I read this! I’m a “words with friends” newbie and I took my iPhone into the bathroom stall today at work. What? It was like a 42 point word.

03.09.11#3

Comment by thepsychobabble.

Definitely talk to him. I had the same problem with my blackberry, and I had to physically turn it off and shut in a drawer between certain hours of the day. Or else I would be on it. Constantly.

03.09.11#4

Comment by Mimzy Wimzy.

You could try texting him on his iPhone every time you want to say something to him. Stop speaking. Send him a picture text of the children getting into things asking if he plans to do anything about it. Send him pictures of the dirty laundry asking what he intends to wear to work the next day. Maybe if you speak his language he’ll catch on a little easier.

My Hubby takes his iPhone to the bathroom and gets sucked into twitter-land. After a long (like close to an hour) period of time I knock on the door to make sure he didn’t fall in. Usually the reply is “No, I’m fine. I’ve been done for a while I’m just reading links on twitter” I don’t complain since I am never without iPhone in one hand and iPad in the other (they are each sitting to one side of my keyboard right now) Luckily my Hubby does everything around the house he needs to and more.

Rojopaul Reply:

I LOVE this advice. Text away!!

03.09.11#5

Comment by Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up).

my kids and husband totally regret buying me an iPhone and then and iPad. My opinion…the hell with them. THey had me for years…what do they expect. Is motherhood forever or something?

03.09.11#6

Comment by Dead Cow Girl.

Wow. I must really be sleep deprived. I don’t even remember writing you. But thank you so much for answering. I already have a timer in the kitchen for my two year olds time outs… Perfect idea.

But do you think he will hear the timer? Maybe if I txt him and let him know it’s going off…

Or post on his facebook wall. Or tweet him.

03.09.11#7

Comment by Kimberly.

I have a different approach. I say all this time he spends on his iPhone is time you could be occupying yourself with raising chickens. Get a whole backyard of them. Fresh eggs, cute chickies – it’s a win win.

Or take Zumba lessons every night whatever. I think you see my point. Ditch his ass for your own interests. Let him eat crackers.

Juwanna Reply:

I love this. Do your own thing. I have the same issue. I spend most of my time doing other things. When he wants sex my mind is blown. If we don’t chat, cuddle, make eye contact and spend some real quality time, I don’t put out. He can keep feeling up on that phone.

03.09.11#8

Comment by JubanMama.

Tell one of your kids that Daddy’s phone is a new toy and to see if it can float in the toilet.

04.26.11#9

Comment by Michelle.

My husband has found his true love and it’s not me. I can’t get him to put it down. Plus I know he is hiding things I would not approve of. If I can get him to put it down for a minute, he’s watching tv, on the computer or playing the play station. I am out the door with the trash. He doean’t know or care that I’m here anymore.

Christine Reply:

I feel your pain. My husband and I have been married for 15 years. In 14 of those 15 years, he’s found many things to occupy his time without me. They have consumed his life. Now we barely speak, text, or do anything together. He comes to me when he wants sex but that’s it. He still expects me to take care of the children and the house. He admits what he’s doing is wrong and promises to stop but he never does. It’s very frustrating and heartbreaking.

01.30.12#10

Comment by Unplug! | The Mouthy Housewives.

[…] I hear you. I hear you because I also have friends and family members who tell me that I’m on my (Very) Smart (and Beautiful) phone all the time. But I can’t […]

07.21.12#11

Comment by lindsey.

My hubby has the same problem ad to top it off he works midnights and never see him anyway and his free time at home is very limited and he spends it on the phone sitting on the patio smoking cigarette after cigarette. He does it when I’m at work and my mom is watching our kids he wont even relieve my mother! He just plays on.his phone. He also never cleans up after himself or does anything unless I nag and when I do ask him to do things he throws in my face how hard he works etc!!! I can’t take it and since he works such long crappy hours he’s quick to snap at me. I’m at my wits end with him and there’s no talking to him
He denies it dosent even realize he spends every minute on his phone!!!!!
what do I do? I’m miserable at home!

Momma Reply:

It is a miserable way to live. It sucks that we have to constantly put up with this crap from the men in our lives. No matter what generation, there is always something with men and we have to grin and bare it while we’re miserable and exhausted. All we want is some acknowledgement and affection from the men who vowed to love us for life.

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