31 Jan
The Hot Nanny

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

Where do you stand on the whole Do I hire a hot nanny or am I asking for trouble issue?

Signed,

She’s Really Hot

_______________________

Dear Really Hot,

I’m not sure if the Mouthy Housewives speak with one voice on this one, but personally, I say, hire away! The hotter the better, the tighter the sweater, we must increase our bust! What? Oh please, I can’t be the only one who bursts into spontaneous variations of Judy Blume quotes.

But seriously.  If you found someone who you believe is capable of taking care of  your children, whose references check out, who is responsible and who you like and the only thing standing between you and liberation from the shackles of childcare is her good looks?  Ha!  Let me repeat that:  HA!  Because let’s not kid ourselves here.  Is her hotness an issue because (a) you’re worried that she’ll make you feel unhot;  (b) you’re concerned that modeling assignments will pour her way and she’ll be late to her nanny job  a lot; or (c) you suspect that your husband will have an Ethan Hawke-Robin Williams-other Hollywood riff raff-esque affair with the hot nanny.

If you are in the C-camp, let me reassure you: each of those men left his wife for a woman who was a lot less attractive than his wife. (Ok, in some cases I’m guessing.  But I bet if you Google, you’ll see that even when guessing, I’m right.)

So you just can’t predict what will make a married man hook up with a nanny, or for that matter, a tranny.  But basing your hiring decisions based on her looks is nuts.  Especially since in my experience when it comes to attractive women, you and your husband’s mileage may vary.  Because my husband doesn’t consider Helen Mirren to be a babe like I do.

Good luck,

Marinka, TMH

12 Responses to “The Hot Nanny”

01.31.11#1

Comment by Lynn MacDonald.

I say get a scut wife instead of a nanny. Then she will also do the cooking and cleaning. Just saying…

01.31.11#2

Comment by Betty Herbert.

My friend’s husband left her for the nanny. His parting words were, ‘Every morning, she pours milk on my cornflakes *and then thanks me*. You have no idea how special that is.’
If your partner is anything like as nauseatingly immature as this man, don’t get the hot nanny. Normal, sensible men without free-ranging egos, however, should cope.

Marinka Reply:

And as a bonus, she can change his diaper, too.

Bean Reply:

*snorting coffee all over the computer*

01.31.11#3

Comment by Plano Mom.

Any husband that leaves with the nanny get the kids along with it. It’s her job.

01.31.11#4

Comment by Kelcey, TMH.

We hired a hot nanny. A lot of my husbands friends liked to hang out at our house. They still reminisce about her.

01.31.11#5

Comment by dusty earth mother.

How sad would it be if you couldn’t get a nanny job just because you were too good-lookin’? I’m the Girl Scout leader and I don’t hear any of the moms complaining. Hmmm…

01.31.11#6

Comment by The Flying Chalupa.

I believe it was Judy Blume that wrote, “Are you there Nanny, it’s me, your future open-minded employer.”

Wise words, Judy.

Good childcare is nothing to scoff at, even if good-looking.

01.31.11#7

Comment by Mandy.

I WAS the hot nanny, and let me tell you, it’s no picnic on that side of the table either.

Okay, never mind, I was 13 and frighteningly awkward. But I’ll bet some men think braces and giant feet are hot.

02.01.11#8

Comment by Alexandra.

Oh, the uglier, the better.

02.01.11#9

Comment by GrandeMocha.

I put my foot down on the hot, blond, 19 yr old nanny. I don’t need to look at that while I’m fat & dragging my butt to work each day on 3 hours of sleep.

04.24.12#10

Comment by Super Nanny's Going to Super Quit | The Mouthy Housewives.

[…] cat or the TV watch my kids when I’m not home. After all, I don’t want them getting attached to a hot lass from Sweden who doesn’t yell things like, “I’m setting fire to your Legos unless you pick them […]

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