06 Aug
Talk About the Blind Leading the Messier Blind

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

Is there any cure for a complete lack of interest or ability in the housecleaning arena? My house is not only small and cramped, but also cluttered as hell and remarkably dusty. I look around and think “I should clean up around here,” and then I take a deep breath and go read more humor blogs. If I manage to get a quickie vacuuming in here and there, it’s a good week. I don’t really care, but my kid is growing up in squalor. Does that matter? We’re not rich enough to hire someone, and my husband believes he’s a saint for doing laundry. I do most of the childcare, plus the shopping and cooking. Who has energy to dust the bookshelves? Maybe there’s a pill I can take? Please advise.

Thanks,

Catherine

______________

Dear Catherine,

Oh, there’s a pill you can take.   It’s called Valium. After one of those little babies, it’s amazing how little you will care what the house looks like, or what you look like, for that matter. And don’t even get me started on what a good night’s sleep you’ll have.

However, I would be remiss to not inform you that it wouldn’t take long before you’d have to down ten of those suckers to get anywhere near that “darn, my house looks sparkly!” feeling again, and then it’d probably be another year in rehab before you’d be allowed anywhere near your kids.

So what to do? First of all, how old are your children? I would say that dusting would be a great chore to give one of them, although I would stick with the kid that is the most coordinated unless your ultimate goal is to purge your tabletops and shelves of anything remotely breakable.

Another suggestion would be to do what I do: Put on your iPod and go for it. Listening to Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” really takes the edge off of dragging a vacuum from room to room and sweating like a pig while seriously considering downsizing from a house to a box just so I won’t have to clean ever again.

Then again, you could just tell your husband that you will never have sex with him again if he doesn’t assist you with the housekeeping. However, if this is not a threat to him, but in fact his day-to-day reality, then I’d go with either the iPod, or if you’ve got a few extra dollars burning a hole in your sweatpants, try this.

According to my sister, it’s worth every penny. It does what it is told, never calls in sick and you never have to fake anything to make it happy.

Perfection, if you ask me.

Love,
Jessica, TMH

10 Responses to “Talk About the Blind Leading the Messier Blind”

08.06.09#1

Comment by christy.

I totally want that robot now! Ipod and dusting hmm? You might be on to something. I can’t wait till my daughter is old enough to ‘help’!!!

08.06.09#2

Comment by Pollyanna.

My three-year-old actually gets mad when I don’t let her have her own swiffer duster 🙂

A sure fire way to get your house clean is to host a gathering. There’s nothing like having the neighbor ladies come over for Bunco to kick start my butt!

08.06.09#3

Comment by Inna.

Thankfully the only chore I have to do at the moment is the dishes and the dusting. My fiance and I share the laundry and he does all the vacuuming. Granted he doesn’t ever clean under anything, but I’m not complaining.

The robot does sound like the perfect solution though. I think I’ll ask santa for the robot for Christmas. And if not, maybe I’ll start having some kids to do some chores around here.

08.06.09#4

Comment by Darth-O.

I have one of the floor mopper ones and they are awesome, and super-easy to use. Just push a few buttons, put down the machine and off it goes..brilliant.

08.06.09#5

Comment by Kay.

I thought about getting one of the robot things, but I’m afraid my dogs will eat it – or that it will vacuum up my mini-mutt. Instead, I just ignore it all. Personally, I think dusting is overrated. Besides, one of the dogs ate the feather duster.

08.07.09#6

Comment by Heather.

Yes, definitely look for cleaning products made with convenience and child labor in mind. (Swiffer duster = child crack. They love those things.)

08.08.09#7

Comment by grandmother of 5.

Ladies-Im in my 50’s and was always a working mom—I always threatened my family when they were younger-and hubby that I was getting a house keeper—Well my kids are gone-I still work-and I hired a young lady to come in Once a month-she does all the bathrooms, floors, dusting vacumming . She does the deep cleaning and for the rest of the month I just pick up-I try and pick up before she comes(papers,toothbrush etc.) but if I dont get to it she just puts everything in a pile and I put it away later-dont be afraid to shop around for the right lady at the right price–The cleaning co. are expensive so I found someone who had an ad up at the grocery store——-This is the best thing Ive ever done for myself–and I so wish I had done it when my kids were young.You can afford it-Take it from your grocery money weekly—Give up you nails being done ,give up the new outfit—work one night a week to make the $ for it —You wont be sorry!!!!!! Im so much happier knowing Im not swamped w/house work constantly—I now actually have time to clean a closet or do all the things I would never get to. If I want to HA!!! You will be a better wife and mommy-TRUST ME!!!! You deserve it!!!!!

08.08.09#8

Comment by grandmother of 5.

I forgot to say I have the Roomba vacumm (the round robot)and I love it—It will miss a few spots occasionally but picks up dog hair and dust on any kind of floor

08.10.09#9

Comment by Amber in Albuquerque.

Dusting sucks. So I try to do as much of it as possible with the vacuum and the upholstery brush attachment. I just ‘cleaned’ my office using my husband’s shop vac instead of the upright with tools on board. Man did that thing suck! (in the best way)

Insert ad for non-existent product here:

Oh yeah…and you might try ‘the Fly Lady’ who has some decent ideas about how to manage the housework (until your kids are old enough to use as labor saving devices).

08.10.09#10

Comment by Amber in Albuquerque.

Dang! My product ad got sucked up (wrong type of brackets): I’m working on devising a clever knitted or crocheted vacuum cleaner attachment that will be soft/flexy enough to dust more delicate stuff while still sucking up most of the dust and being machine washable. Did I mention how much I hate to dust?

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