31 Jul
Rise and Yawn!

Dear TMH,

Way back when the baby came and I quit my job to do the whole “stay home with the baby” thing, my husband and I went through the usual schedule upheaval. I was, and still am, a night owl. I actually do better on 6 hours of sleep than 8, but that’s merely background info. For these and other reasons, my husband and I moved our regular marital activity hour to before work instead of nighttime. His work, that is. Well, it’s years later, and to be quite honest, it has never been my favorite way to wake up. Or be woken up. Hell, I’m barely awake, and barely participating. While I’ve never exactly been enthusiastic about sex in the first place, I certainly like it a lot better when I’m more conscious than a tranquilized moose. He, however, has the normal hormones of a male raging at 6am. How do I go about moving this time back to when I get into bed? I still tend to go to bed an hour or two after he does, but he still leaves for work an hour before my preferred wakeup time, so fair’s fair, right?




Dear Sleepy,


Hey, I’m an early riser, so send your husband over!   The lengths that we Mouthy Housewives will go to solve your problems.

Let me address what I consider the main problem here:   You’ve never been enthusiastic about sex in the first place.   Great sex is one of life’s greatest pleasures, right along with The Real Housewives of New Jersey. And with the season now over, what else do we have but fantastic sex?   Unless it’s not fantastic.   If it’s just “eh”, then I don’t blame you for wanting to hit the snooze button.   So start working towards the fantastic!   There are plenty of books/articles/websites to guide you through this process. Why not start with this fun foreplay map, brought to you by Oprah?       (Don’t worry, Oprah’s not included.)

And as for how do you move the passion hour back to night time, I suggest the good ole standby of,   “honey, I’m ready!”   I hear that’s timeless.

Good luck!

Marinka, TMH

6 Responses to “Rise and Yawn!”


Comment by melodyj.

i remember reading somewhere that the bio cycles of men tend to be best for sex for men in the morning and sex for women in the evening………. just saying


Comment by IrreverentMommy.

Since Oprah isn’t included, try the foreplay map.

I do remember someone telling me that a woman “just needed to show up”. Does he really care that much about what time you show up?


Comment by Heather.

Whew, yeah, morning breath is NOT erotic.

Marinka, that’da way to take one for the team.

If I slipped into the bed 2 hours after him, I’d make sure to wear nothing. Then cuddle up, smooshing certain things against his back or chest. Never had that to fail to wake a man up.


Comment by Dirty Mouth Mama.

Yup. Hard not to agree with most of the comments. Avoid the morning by waking him up when you get in bed. No sense in just having it one way.


Comment by aussiechic.

LOL……OMG that is funny……

Hey have a nice glass of wine or two and go to bed with your hubby – have great sex…..then if you are still awake, while he rolls over and heads off into the land of nod, you are free to watch some TV, blog, read a book – whatever….and the whole fam is happy!!!!


Comment by Lottie Lou.

For some ungodly reason, my guy says he wants sex in the morning, which to him is 3 am. Three. A. M.

Not in this lifetime, unless I never went to sleep in the first place.

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