OMG, I’m Having Sex With the Same Guy For the Rest of My Life
Welcome to Tuesday, otherwise known as We Survived Monday, And It’s Time For a Break! around these here parts. Today we are excited to have Peajaye, a very funny writer, pinch hit for us. Because not only does Peajaye have a brand new children’s book full of rhyme and reason, Under The Covers, he’s answering a question that most of us have grappled with at some point in our lives. So enjoy, and check out Peajaye’s website! And don’t forget to order multiple copies of his book for everyone you know. Except for the people that you hate. Ahem. - Marinka
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I’ve been married for 8 years. I feel great about our marriage. We have 3 kids and are both committed parents. Although our sex life is good, there are times when I can’t believe that I won’t have sex with a new person for the first time ever again. I would never be unfaithful, or leave my husband. But do other people feel like this too or is something wrong with me?
Signed,
Faithful
______________________________________________
Dear Faithful,
There’s a reason sluts are called sluts – cuz that’s what they are. And we love them for that. But clearly you are not one.
So I say, If you want to spice things up, shave your husband’s back, legs or ass, and he will feel like someone new. And to those who try to bully us into doing what we don’t want to do, I say, with love: Screw off.
Good luck,
Peajaye, Guest TMH
13 Responses to “OMG, I’m Having Sex With the Same Guy For the Rest of My Life”
Comment by Gifts.
[...] Mouthy Housewives and telling you what to do when you’re trapped in that monotonous, I mean, monogamous relationship! Don’t miss [...]
Comment by Kristin @ What She Said.
Such great analogies in this post, from a threesome = the guest star on The Love Boat to the Olive Garden comparison. Mostly, though, it’s just nice to read a post that essentially says, “Hey, it’s OK to be vanilla,” when it comes to sex and marriage and monogamy. I honestly don’t get freaked out at the thought of having sex with the same person for the rest of my life. It’s kind of a relief, actually. But while I’m perfectly content with our vanilla married person sex, I’m all for a little drizzle of chocolate syrup every now and then, just to keep things interesting. 
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Comment by Kelcey.
Fabulous advice. Honestly, I like any advice that makes mention of the Olive Garden.
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Comment by Kristine.
This was perfect–and friggin’ hilarious–advice. I’m partial to the Love Boat reference myself.
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Comment by Plano Mom.
I too love the analogies, and like Peajaye’s perspective.
You can always admit that you’re attracted to someone else, and turn it into a racy story – an erotic FANTASY – that you both share. No risk in bringing in someone else, because it’s all fantasy, between the two of you. And there’s really not any risk in talking about someone you know, because it’s just a fantasy, and it can’t be realistic.
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Comment by Alexandra.
Just have an alcoholic drink on an empty stomach:
Voila!
Sparks and fireworks.
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Comment by tracey - justanothermommy.
Yeah, Civil-Unioned doesn’t have the same flow…
Loved this post.
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Comment by Why Buy The Cow If You're Lactose Intolerant | The Mouthy Housewives.
[...] married someone for whom you have no sexual feelings. I suppose the good news is that the lack of these feelings is mutual. But I have to ask: were [...]
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GrandeMocha Reply:
July 12th, 2011 at 7:44 pm
Love the analogy!
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