My Husband’s Runner’s High is Making Me Sick
It’s Friday! And you know what that means, right? It means we have a Guest Poster! Today we’re very happy to welcome the wonderful Liz from Peace, Love and Guacamole who just so happens to be an Austin friend of mine. Liz is a truly fabulous writer and if she weren’t so nice and funny and lovely, I’d probably make her my arch nemesis. Be sure to visit her blog, then send me a thank you note when you’re done reading. Thanks, Liz! — Wendi
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My husband has recently taken up running and now wants me to do it with him. Only, I hate running with a white hot passion. The more I say “no,” the more upset he gets. Should I just suck it up and try it or stick to my guns?
Signed,
I’d Rather Take a Bus
________________________
Dear I’d Rather Take A Bus,
Unless you exchanged some very unique wedding vows, there’s nothing requiring you and Hubs to handcuff yourselves together for every single hobby. (This policy is handy for me because, forcryingoutloud, I can only look at so many hand-made bicycles crafted entirely of bamboo and sewing thread. But I digress…) It’s healthy to have individual interests and that also prevents you from becoming the couple sitting at the restaurant with nothing to talk about except your children’s upcoming dental work.
However, your husband just might be one of those rare (??) men who have a hard time expressing themselves. Maybe what he’s really trying to tell you is (insert female translation here): “OMG, I am so so in love with this new thing called running that I feel like it’s changed my life, you know? Like, I feel like a new person. Seriously! And I love you so much that I want you TOO to feel like this! Also, I miss you. And I want to spend time with you. And wouldn’t it be great if we could multitask and do both at the same time?”
If running is something that’s truly important to him, it might genuinely be a fun thing to share. Agree to join him regularly for a month to see if your mindset changes. Just be sure to set yourself up to succeed. First, buy yourself some cute, new running shorts and comfortable shoes from a reputable running store. Then you, not Hubs, get to pick the running pace, the distance, the location, and the favorite coffee spot afterward. And while you’re at it, sign him up for your favorite hobby as well. Agreeing to test-drive each other’s passions can at least give you a better appreciation of why you both love the things you love.
If after a fair trial you still aren’t a converted runner, tell Hubs gently but firmly that you won’t be running beside him…but that you will cheer him on and stock the fridge with Gatorade.
Sincerely,
Liz, Guest TMH
18 Responses to “My Husband’s Runner’s High is Making Me Sick”
Comment by Desperate Dietwives.
My dad used to be the same: a confirmed sportsman who truly enjoys spending himself physically, he would try to convince my mom and me to do the same things as him. Only, we’re quite the indoor types and he never succeeded; worse, it made me angry to have him try to convince me to do something I really didn’t care for, I thought he didn’t respect me. I was a teenager at the time and couldn’t understand that he was motivated purely by his love for sports.
Well, he never succeeded neither with my moms, nor with me, but I guess Liz’s advice is right.
Of course, while trying to sign him in for a hobby of yours, be careful to pick something he really hates, so that he can fully understand you… 
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Comment by Desperate Dietwives.
My dad used to be the same: a confirmed sportsman who truly enjoys spending himself physically, he would try to convince my mom and me to do the same things as him. Only, we’re quite the indoor types and he never succeeded; worse, it made me angry to have him try to convince me to do something I really didn’t care for, I thought he didn’t respect me. I was a teenager at the time and couldn’t understand that he was motivated purely by his love for sports.
Well, he never succeeded neither with my moms, nor with me, but I guess Liz’s advice is right.
Of course, while trying to sign him on for a hobby of yours, be careful to pick something he really hates, so that he can fully understand you…
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Comment by hokgardner.
Such a great answer. And after the month is up, if you decide running still isn’t for you, I suggest you say what my husband did to me – “I love you, and I love that you’re a runner. I will cheer you on at races and help you find time to run. But I won’t run with you.”
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Comment by Marinka.
Great advice–a month trial, a day trial, let’s not fight over the length of time, the important thing is that you give it a shot.
But be warned that he may find a running partner– “a running wife.” But don’t worry, The Mouthy Housewives will be here to help.
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Comment by Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up).
Personally, i’d rather walk over hot coals than run and there is no way in Hell i would run…so i would say no way…but then, i’m a selfish bitch.
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Comment by Lessons in Life and Light.
I’ve always hated running. Then when my husband went away for 5 months for basic training, I decided to give it one more try. I downloaded the free Couch to 5K podcast (iTunes) and began doing it about 2-3 times a week. I kind of couldn’t believe it…but I actually started to LIKE it. Even though I’m now a sporadic runner, my feelings about it have totally changed. I actually enjoy it!
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Comment by MommyTime.
There is a short but steep acclimation curve for running — so don’t be dispirited or angry if you still hate it after a week. Typically, it will feel MUCH better about 2-3 weeks in, and even start to get fun (and I say this as someone who has long been a runner and who nonetheless finds getting back into it every spring to be something like torture).
The key things to know: (1) allow yourself a starting goal of jogging for two minutes, walking for a minute, repeat, as a way to get used to running; you will quickly find that you can increase how much of the distance you run; (2) your might also find it helpful to have a starting goal of TIME rather than DISTANCE to cover (say 25 minutes of alternating running/walking); (3) running 3 days/wk is enough without being too much when you first start; (4) once you are running most of the way, you should only add 10% more to your running distance each week (the sections you walk in between running don’t count in this distance). So, if your goal is to cover two miles, say, in a combination of running and walking, and you get to the point where you can do that comfortably, your next week, you should only add another 1/4 mile to each run.
Also, if he’s already dashing along at a healthy clip for 5 miles or so, it will be best if he gets it out of his system BEFORE you go with him, and then you run together during what will be for him a cool down. This way, you won’t feel like you are slowing him down, and he won’t feel like he wishes he could run faster already. Good luck!
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Comment by The Flying Chalupa.
Love the advice – and as someone who was forcefully converted to the running life (trial by fire along the East River of NYC where I also acquired black lung), I, too, kind of enjoy it. The key word being “kind of,” because while I hated running with the drill sergeant, I liked running by myself, in a gym with AC where I could listen to my iPod and not have to make conversation / gasp for my last dying breath.
Good luck! My Adidas are crossed for you!
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Comment by Rojopaul.
Don’t hate the messenger but this sounds like man speak to me and what he’s trying to say is you’ve let yourself go and you need to lose weight! Is that possible? If so and you hate running, maybe you can find something else to do to work off the extra weight? (I hear Zamba is really fun!) If not, I like the idea of trying it out for a week or two and then just telling him you’ll be 100%supportive with his love of running with cheering and supplying water!
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Comment by marathonmom.
On the outfit, you need to go Lululemon all the way. Theirs is the most epensive and cutest stuff out there. Plus, every one will stop you every 50 steps and ask you where you got it. Between the constant distraction and the price alone, he will let you wear your cute running outfit and just meet him afterwards for that coffee!!
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Liz @ Peace, Love & Guacamole Reply:
March 4th, 2011 at 3:02 pm
Oh you are GOOD! Brilliant idea.
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Comment by Heather, TMH.
This is awesome advice, especially the part about insisting he try your hobby for a month too. My favorite hobby is washing dishes. Now he has to help me for a month. Yay!
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Comment by Mandy.
Haha. I can’t stand people who even talk about running. SO BORING.
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Comment by Janine.
As someone who only runs when chased by wild hyenas, I still thought this was great advice. Have fun together!
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Comment by Alexandra.
First of all, how happy am I to see Peace, Love, Guac here.
I adore her Sunday Grace.
And, I”m with her, at least try running: how cool he thinks of you as a bestie.
JUST TRY IT.
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Comment by Karin.
this reminds me – I need to go buy new running shoes… I hate shoe shopping – running – eh – shoe shopping (with a wide foot, skinny heel and high instep) is hell on earth. Glad my hubby doesn’t try to recruit me into something like that!
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Liz @ Peace, Love & Guacamole Reply:
March 4th, 2011 at 1:26 pm
Oh the running wife…excellent point.
Don’t let her legs look better than yours!
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