Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I have been with my husband for 20 years and started dating him when I was 16 years old. He tells me how lucky I am that he is honest with me but lately his honesty has been really upsetting me. He wants to have sex with my friends, asks me to set some type of threesome up and talks about what types of clothes other women wear that turns him on. He tells me he likes the way 20 somethings look in jeans, but I’m 35. He also is constantly on me about my weight. I’m 5’5, 135 pounds.
He told me once he had to watch porn before having sex with me because he couldn’t get into the mood with me anymore. He also told me he doesn’t have time for foreplay until he’s retired. Do I have a reason to be this upset? He says he has never cheated and I believe him, but everything he has said and the way he looks at other women right in front of me is driving me crazy!
I have good news and bad news for you. The good news is that you have very good reasons to be upset. The bad news is that you seem to be married to a lunatic. Tough break.
Love, Marinka, TMH
What? I’m not done? I’m expected to give a more through answer? This is certainly inconvenient news because I’m pretty busy right now. Can you wait until I’m retired? Because that’s when I’ll have more time on my hands to do a lot of stuff that I’ve been meaning to. Like the dishes, and saying “please” and “thank you” to people and maybe even taking the dog out for those walks he keeps hinting he wants.
Look, Confused, I’m not sure what’s going on with your husband, but he’s being abusive under the guise of honesty. Make no mistake– there is absolutely nothing honest in telling you that he wants to have sex with your friends, set up threesomes and talking about your weight. I hope it goes without saying that you should not, under any circumstances, participate in a threesome or any other orgy-type scenario. Because you can’t unring that bell. What you need to do, assuming that you want to continue to be married to him, is let him know that your marriage is in serious trouble and seek counseling together. Preferably with a counselor that he does not want to have sex with.
You have every right to expect fidelity from your spouse, not just the not-having-sex with other women kind, but the not-making-you-feel-terrible kind. After all, how would he feel if you were to return the honesty favor and tell him that you were hoping he’d grow a thicker penis by now?