11 Nov
My Husband Wants to Sleep with My BFF: Is That Wrong?

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

My husband wants to have sex with my best friend. We recently all went out for his birthday and I later found them on my bedroom floor clothed, but my husband was kissing her breast. She said she was drunk and didn’t do anything—including saying “no.”

We have been married 18 years and together since I was 15. He has cheated on me before and I know he has wanted her for a long time; she is very pretty and sweet. What do I do? I think he will eventually cheat with her.

Signed,

Married to a Cheaterpants

_________________________

Dear Married to a Cheaterpants,

Hmmmm, this one is a real head-scratcher of a question. And, quite honestly, I don’t know if I’ll be able to point you in the right direction here. Let me think, let me think, let me think….oh, I know! How about if we go back to your first sentence:

“My husband wants to have sex with my best friend.”

Should I call the moving van for you or would you prefer just a simple jetpack to blast your   ass out of this disgusting situation?

Because not to sound insensitive, but there’s not much of a gray area here, lady. He’s cheated on you before, he’s made it obvious he’s trying to sleep with your best friend and your best friend seems willing to go along with it. This is what we students of Lifetime Television refer to as “The Donna Mills Hot Mess Trifecta.” So unless you want to stick around to help raise your BFF and husband’s eventual love child, you need to get out while the gettin’s GOOD. (You can’t see me, but I’m doing that cool Jackée thing with my neck right now.)

I know leaving is way easier said than done, especially since you’ve been with him since you were 15 and probably have some co-dependency issues, but things are not going to get better. They’re just not. To quote Maya Angelou, “When a person shows you who they are, believe them.” And this guy has shown you time and time again that he’s nothing more than a complete asshole.

Call your friends, your family, your church—anyone who has the time, resources and love to help you, and start making plans to ditch this loser as well as your “best friend,” who may be “pretty and sweet,” but like this guy, isn’t any kind of friend I’d ever want. Jeez.

I know it’s tough, but listen: life’s too short to allow yourself to be treated like shit. The person you need to love the most right now is yourself because obviously nobody else is looking out for you. (Except us, because we’re just awesome like that.)

Please, keep us posted. We wish you all the best.

Sincerely,

Wendi, TMH

22 Responses to “My Husband Wants to Sleep with My BFF: Is That Wrong?”

11.11.11#1

Comment by ashley.

Been there….done that and its NOT pretty. My situation was a little different but the main point is that he wanted to screw my “best friend” and I let him. After it happened things were never the same. The end was obvious when while we were having sex (uncomfortably I might add) he told me he was going to do it again with her weather I liked it or not and weather I was there or not. I had already made it clear I wasn’t comfortable with it ever happening again but he just didn’t care, all he cared about was getting some “new” sex. We split up, I went back like a dumbass and tried to make it work but he just made me sick from that point on and a couple weeks later I left for good. I’m now with an AWESOME man who truly loves me and my kids, cares about MY feelings as much as I do about his, and I could not be more happy ! I hope this chick leaves the dirtbag in the dust with that skank best friend of hers and realizes she deserves sooooo much better! I know its gonna be hard but she can do it! P.S. my ex was also my first love/highschool sweetheart and all that what a joke!

11.11.11#2

Comment by Desperate Dietwives.

Accepting such a situation is simply not an option: is your self esteem so low?
And how can you consider a friend – let alone a best friend – a woman whom you found in YOUR bedroom, with YOUR husband on top of her?

Just dump ‘em both, gal, do yourself a favour!!! Because, even though you might not have noticed it, they have already bumped you. Both of them, I’m afraid.

Desperate Dietwives Reply:

I meant dumped, not bumped… :-/

11.11.11#3

Comment by Steph.

Honey, you deserve so much better! Run, don’t walk, out the door. Oh, and your “BFF” is not your friend. No real friend does that.

11.11.11#4

Comment by JessE.

Ohhh Hell NO!!! That bitch is crazy and he is a DOUCHE-BAG! You need to do what is best for you and that is leaving.

I have been with my husband since I was 17, we have been married for 10 years and had 2 sexual partners before each other. Because of this sometimes the other side looks nice but we both know our marriage is more important than that and cheating is not the answer. We have to work on our sex life when things get stagnant, not stray. Unfortunately, your husband doesn’t believe this and you are better off without him.

11.11.11#5

Comment by Marie.

Well said, Wendy.

-MM

11.11.11#6

Comment by Kristin.

Even joining in would be too messy. How is this person a BFF if she’d “not even say no”? Oh, wait! It’s because BFF means “Busty Freak Friend,” right? I say drop the last F, and call a lawyer.

11.11.11#7

Comment by Linda.

Get this all on tape (You can get the mini-recorders at Walmart or Target) & get him admitting this all !
Then you take it to a lawyer, his family, friends, minister, etc & play it.
Then you call his ASS a UHAUL cause the house & any property should be yours !!!!

11.11.11#8

Comment by Angie Uncovered.

I’ll admit I’m having a mood-swingy day, but holy sh*t this made me start crying. WTF? Just one girl’s opinion here, but I’m sure others would agree… it’s better to be alone and secure than to be with someone and insecure. How can you be secure if you constantly have to wonder if he’s cheating on you again, who will be next, when, and in this case if your own best friend would do anything to stop it.

He’s disgusting. She’s as bad. You can do better.

11.11.11#9

Comment by VG.

I’m surprised you showed any type of restraint when you found them in your bedroom basically MAKING THE F*CK OUT!!!! See, if that were my situation, I would’ve gotten very violent very quickly (imagine Wolverine claws and LOTS of blood), but I’m too pretty for jail :)
Seriously, you need to leave this terrible situation FAST or you’ll be Doomed. Don’t settle for THAT shit.

11.11.11#10

Comment by Julie.

I’ve never found the clothed boob kiss to be all that exciting. So this tells me that in addition to really poor judgment and terrible best friend skills, she has really sh*tty taste in foreplay.

Speaking of bad taste, I also had really, really bad taste in men when I was 15. I know he’s all you know, but you deserve so much more than this. Wendi gave it to you straight…this is definitely one of those times where I think you’re asking a question you already know the answer to. I’m rooting for you, sister. Get the hell out.

11.11.11#11

Comment by Meredith L..

I agree with all of the above commenters, and would also like to add this:

Before you leave this dirtbag, seek out his best friend. Have wild, hot, passionate sex with him. Do stuff with him you’ve never done with your husband. Video tape it. Then, when you leave your husband, make sure you leave the tape for him to watch. And then post all over Facebook and Twitter about how great the sex with your now-ex-husband’s BFF was.

VG Reply:

Twist that knife!!!! LOL
Though the tape could be used as evidence in court for his own selfish needs, because I could see this douchebag doing that to this poor woman. But just for the satisfaction & seeing his face? It would be worth it :P

Meredith L. Reply:

Maybe a Mission:Impossible style self-destruct tape… Those are real, right?

VG Reply:

This tape will self destruct in 10 seconds… HAHA

11.11.11#12

Comment by Poker Chick.

Agree with everyone, ditch the douche and your so called friend. Forget “pretty and sweet” you want “LOYAL and FUN”.

I don’t even know you and can tell you it will be worth it.

11.12.11#13

Comment by Cate8.

Sadly all men cheat. Never used to think that during my second marriage but it’s true.
Now best friends never cheat or lie or steal….she ain’t your best friend, nor any kind of friend.

11.12.11#14

Comment by Megan.

Ditch ‘em both. If my best friend’s husband tried to hit on me I’d cockpunch him and leave, not lie down on the floor.

11.14.11#15

Comment by vodka tonic.

May I recommend a divorce lawyer? Honey, get out of there. It’s better to be alone and self-respecting, than lonely and treated like shit.

11.18.11#16

Comment by That Girl.

Gotta agree with the other noters. I know it’s difficult, but it will be worth it. And the fact that you will be able to find a better man that treats you the way you DESERVE and will be worthy of your time, love, devotion, etc, is alone worth the option of leaving someone who obviously makes you feel badly. Significant others should be there to build you up and show you how special and important you are to them, not tear you down and question your value. Hang in there honey.
And like other noters have said, if you can prove his cheating, you have better odds in settling a divorce.

03.12.12#17

Comment by Someone is Stalking My Husband | The Mouthy Housewives.

[...] point is – your husband needs to take action.  I am assuming from your letter that he has done nothing to encourage her. If he has clearly stated his wishes that this former student no longer contact him than she is, [...]

09.04.12#18

Comment by SystemExam.

Have a threesome…
Always hang around when he is having sex with her (you dont have to have sex).

Dont shoot yourself in the foot and loose him!

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