Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My husband wants to have sex with my best friend. We recently all went out for his birthday and I later found them on my bedroom floor clothed, but my husband was kissing her breast. She said she was drunk and didn’t do anything—including saying “no.”
We have been married 18 years and together since I was 15. He has cheated on me before and I know he has wanted her for a long time; she is very pretty and sweet. What do I do? I think he will eventually cheat with her.
Married to a Cheaterpants
Dear Married to a Cheaterpants,
Hmmmm, this one is a real head-scratcher of a question. And, quite honestly, I don’t know if I’ll be able to point you in the right direction here. Let me think, let me think, let me think….oh, I know! How about if we go back to your first sentence:
“My husband wants to have sex with my best friend.”
Should I call the moving van for you or would you prefer just a simple jetpack to blast your ass out of this disgusting situation?
Because not to sound insensitive, but there’s not much of a gray area here, lady. He’s cheated on you before, he’s made it obvious he’s trying to sleep with your best friend and your best friend seems willing to go along with it. This is what we students of Lifetime Television refer to as “The Donna Mills Hot Mess Trifecta.” So unless you want to stick around to help raise your BFF and husband’s eventual love child, you need to get out while the gettin’s GOOD. (You can’t see me, but I’m doing that cool JackÃ©e thing with my neck right now.)
I know leaving is way easier said than done, especially since you’ve been with him since you were 15 and probably have some co-dependency issues, but things are not going to get better. They’re just not. To quote Maya Angelou, “When a person shows you who they are, believe them.” And this guy has shown you time and time again that he’s nothing more than a complete asshole.
Call your friends, your family, your church—anyone who has the time, resources and love to help you, and start making plans to ditch this loser as well as your “best friend,” who may be “pretty and sweet,” but like this guy, isn’t any kind of friend I’d ever want. Jeez.
I know it’s tough, but listen: life’s too short to allow yourself to be treated like shit. The person you need to love the most right now is yourself because obviously nobody else is looking out for you. (Except us, because we’re just awesome like that.)
Please, keep us posted. We wish you all the best.