Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My husband has been out of work for six months. It sucks. My youngest kid just started kindergarten. After we get them off to school, we both wander back to bed — no kids, no job. Is it normal that no sex happens?
Sleeping in Bed
Dear Sleeping in Bed,
Oh you poor girl. I hate that you’ve been worrying for one millisecond over this. Thank goodness you’ve sought the counsel of us Mouthy Housewives. Of course, it’s completely normal. What would be totally abnormal and darn right crazy is if you bounced back into bed every morning and actually had sex.
Honestly, I’ve never understood the allure of morning sex. Bad breath, pillow face wrinkles and bright daylight are not aphrodisiacs in my book. I prefer my sex in the dark, after a few cocktails and with a hot stranger with abs like a washboard. I mean, with my husband. So stop fretting over the lack of a.m. action and enjoy some much deserved rest.
However, it is important that you keep your sex life alive. You both may not be in the mood during this financially stressful time but sometimes you just have to put “Melrose Place” on pause and make it happen. Trust me when I say, a little hanky panky can actually make you momentarily forget that you’re on a spending freeze. The wine will help you forget the rest of the time.
Now if your husband still wants to get busy on the occasional morning and you’re not interested, no need to get worried. Just point him in the direction of his computer and tell him to to get busy on that resume.
I don’t know about you but sometimes reading is just so much work. Starting this Thursday, we’ll give you a break here on The Mouthy Housewives and the super talented Jessica will dole out advice each week via video. You’ll just have to sit back and press play. We’ve also asked Jessica to bring you coffee but she balked at that one so apparently it’s BYOC.