21 Mar
I’ve Got a Song in My Heart (And I’m Going to Sing It Out Loud)

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I have what I believe to be a solid marriage, except when my husband and I are in the car together.   See, when he’s driving, he likes to sing along with the radio.   And I can hear him.   And I don’t like the way he sings, and I don’t like the faces that he makes while he’s singing.

I’ve asked him to please not sing, and he stops, but then he looks so sad that I feel like I’ve killed one of his dreams.   What do you think? Should I suck it up for the health of our marriage?


Please Shut Up


Dear Please,

I hear you.   Listening to someone else sing along with the radio is very painful.   I suspect it would be annoying even if Prince were karaoke-ing Born This Way, to say nothing of Bob Dylan doing Cee-Lo Green.   (I’m assuming that your husband, like mine, is more in the Bob Dylan singing camp than in the Prince one.)   (Not that I have personal ear- splitting and soul-stabbing experience with this.)

I’m not going to insult you with easy solutions like wearing headphones, earplugs or hiring a vocal cord removal specialist to pay your husband a visit, because I assume that you’ve already considered and rejected all of those fine options.

And also because your question is not how you can get him to stop, but whether you should.   Because you married a man who loves to sing.

And therefore, I’m going to turn my back on years of feminism and self-assertion and tell you to let him sing.

As a matter of fact,   you should encourage it.   Before the next car trip, suggest a night out at a karaoke bar.   A long night in a loud karaoke bar (as opposed to one of those karaoke outfits that specializes in lullabys) where he will sing until he is hoarse.   Chances are that he will have to resort to lip syncing for the next few days and you can enjoy a quiet ride.

Obviously, you can’t preemptively visit a karaoke bar before every car trip.   And for those times that you can’t, try to see how long you can let him sing before you can’t stand it anymore.   If he’s a great husband, and this gives him joy, it’s not that much to ask for.

Just close your eyes and think of the Royal Wedding.


Marinka, TMH

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15 Responses to “I’ve Got a Song in My Heart (And I’m Going to Sing It Out Loud)”


Comment by Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up).

Hahaha…this is like my husband and myself except it’s me. I can sing but am incapable of memorizing words so I always sing the wrong ones. My hubby once spent four hours between Vermont and NYC trying to teach me the words to a Bob Dylan song and I STILL only know the first lines.

Make it a joke between the two of you and make it a thing you treasure about him. Just saying…or dump the bastard although that seems shallow!


Comment by Wendi.

We have the opposite of this problem, too, which is why on our last long roadtrip, he made me sing the Oates parts in our Hall & Oates singalongs.

Plano Mom Reply:

I LOVE singing along to Hall and Oates! But Barry is the true sing along in the car artist.


Comment by Desperate Dietwife.

How about starting to sing yourself? It might be amusing, the two of you singing together as if you were giving a concert… or it might turn him off for good. 😀


Comment by StephanieG.

Suck. It. Up. You married him for better or for worse, and this happens to fall into the *worse* category.

My dearly beloved could not carry a tune in a bucket if I held a gun to his head, so I have personal experience with this.

Presumably, you’ve been with him long enough to know if there are any songs he doesn’t butcher completely. Find these songs and make a road trip mix or playlist, and try to stay plugged into “approved” music as long as you can.

And when you can’t stand it any more, just look at him and remember that he either is or might be your baby daddy, (or you’ve chosen together not to go that route) and he’s worth keeping around for that alone.

Good luck, and try to enjoy your husband’s artistic rendentions of your favorite tunes…..Mine personally favors “Under the Bridge” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

skchord Reply:

My husband loves to sing along to Air Supply although he can no longer come close to hitting those notes. 🙂


Comment by skchord.

My husband is a pretty bad singer also, but I am not and I enjoy singing with the radio myself. I try very hard not to do it too often when others are in the car though. I encourage my husband to sing though, even though he’s bad, because I know deep down he enjoys it and I love seeing him happy. Awe…I know…sappy corny crap. 🙂


Comment by annie.

Do you have kids? If so, join in the singing and together you can horrify the children for hours.

Might I suggest a Protest Rock cd? And if you have all girls, change the words to “She’s not heavy, she’s my sister”. Not that I know anything about this of course.


Comment by tracy.

Singing? That is no big deal. It’s the fucking whistling that drives me crazy. OMG make him stop.


Comment by dusty earth mother.

My husband has terrible allergies and I listen to him snort, sneeze and blow his nose all day long every day of my life. Singing in the car? That’s a cakewalk, sweetheart.

Ditto Reply:

Same. Sometimes when he snorts I hope he chokes on it so I don’t have to hear it anymore. Gosh it’s so repulsive!


Comment by The Flying Chalupa.

I love singing in the car and karaoke-ing. Heaven on Earth.

Let the man sing! Choose the station and join in! You’ll totally be Clark and Ellen Griswold, awww!


Comment by Plano Mom.

He could be addicted to Talk Radio. Or Sports Channel 24/7. Although the minor things are always what sends us to the looney bin, this is small stuff. Stop sweating it.


Comment by Kay.

When I was dating my husband, I randomly sang a phrase of a song that related to whatever he just said. When he sang the next line, I knew he was a keeper. And I really love it when “It’s Raining Men” gets stuck in his head.

But can we talk about all the shooting games on the Xbox?


Comment by MiniPeds.

My husband and I get drunk and BOTH sing along, poorly, to his whole iTunes collection. From Heart to Wu-Tang….we both suck and it sounds hilarious to me. Maybe just find music on the radio that you both love to sing?

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