03 Apr
It’s Not Fabulous That My Husband is Gay Bait

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

My husband got a new job out of our area and he’s rented a room from what seemed like a nice gay couple while our house sells and school finishes up. However, one of the guys just hit on my husband. It was so awkward that my husband isn’t even staying there anymore and opted for a spot on the couch of one of his friends an hour away. I find the whole thing hilarious (I don’t know the specifics), but I’m wondering, should I be mad at this guy for hitting on my husband who was really clear that he was married with kids and straight rather than laughing like it’s a sitcom?


Married to Gay Bait


Dear Married to Gay Bait,

First of all, if you’re a married father of kids, you should be happy to be hit on by anyone. Like my husband who reminds me on a daily basis that Lou, the grocery store checker who may be a man or may be a woman with a goatee, always winks at him and takes his expired coupons with a smile. Yeah, that’s right, Lou—I’m watching you, you food scanning bastard.

That said, as flattering as being hit on may be, it can definitely make a living situation uncomfortable. I don’t blame your husband for moving out. However, in my (very strong) opinion, the fact that the person who came on to him is gay has absolutely no bearing on how you should feel. Personally, I’d be more upset if the skanky pants after my husband was a cute woman who might actually pique his interest with fun things he likes to touch. Like BOOBS, for example. Boobs are definitely fun. And most gay guys don’t have those, as far as I know.

As to your question of should you be mad at this guy for doing what he did: sure, why not? But what good will it do? It wasn’t a personal affront directed at you, it was just a jerky maneuver done by someone acting completely thoughtless (to his own partner, too). So I say let it go and concentrate on getting ready to move your family.

However, if you ever do come in contact with him again, I see nothing wrong with a dramatic slap across his face while yelling, “HANDS OFF MY MAN, BITCH!” After all, isn’t that what they’d do on a sitcom?

Good luck!

Wendi, TMH


8 Responses to “It’s Not Fabulous That My Husband is Gay Bait”


Comment by Lori.

I personally think it’s flattering to be hit on by any one.

just not someone you live with


Comment by Plano Mom.

My husband is in a position where he sees a LOT of older widows and widowers. He’s been hit on many times by very lonely people who are simply responding to his kindness and consideration. It’s not about your husband, and it’s not his (or your) issue anymore.

Unless he becomes addicted to awkward advances from gay men…

Jenee Reply:

Good comment, Plano Mom (I always read that as PIANO Mom at first glance)

My husband seems to have a way with women that are 60+ years of age. Neither of us can figure it out.

I just tell him to continue “working it” LOL!


Comment by Avprobeauty.

Big deal. I think you reacted appropriately, it IS funny when someone who is clearly ‘unavailable’ gets hit on; not for the person getting hit on, assumably, but for the mate who is holding the reins. And I think your husbands reaction sums it up. Now, on the other hand if your husband winked back and decided to change colors, I would be concerned! Since he did not and clearly is WITH you, move on sista’!


Comment by melanie.

I am always flattered when someone shows an interest in my husband. And gay men often have way better taste than women – skanky or no. AND some of my gay men friends have told me that they have had some pretty, pretty, pretty hot liasons with married men. Married with children. Men married to women. SO there’s that too, although it’s kind of a random thing to throw in the pot – just maybe your husband was a safer target than another gay man, seeing as this one was hooked up…like I said, be flattered & stay friends with them so you can get turned on to the best restaurants and hair places.


Comment by Peajaye.

Sorry, but as the spokesperson for the LGBTetc community, I gotta call out that gay asshole on his shit. Coming on to anyone like that – in a house where you’re renting out a room – is an act of aggression and totally unacceptable. And now your husband has to drive an hour to his job when he’s already got a lot on his plate. Gays should know better, being given the benefit of knowing how it feels to be in situations of unjust subordination. Shame on that queer.

Desperate Dietwives Reply:

This is the comment I most agree on.
The behaviour you relate is sexual harassment; you wouldn’t be laughing if it was a landlady who behaved like this to your husband and it wouldn’t definitely be funny if it was a woman having to cope with such behaviour from her landlord.
Gay rights are OK with me, but they go with duties as well and the first duty is to behave like everybody else.
I feel for your husband, who pays a rent but is forced to go sleep elsewhere and has moreover no support from his wife on this issue.


Comment by RussianTimelord.

To me, it sounds like it wasn’t a serious hitting-on. *shrug* My housemates and I jokingly hit on each other all the time. I’m currently involved in a very loving relationship with another woman, and my two housemates are in a hetero relationship together.

To me, it seems like an over-the top reaction on your husband’s part, since rather than sitting down and having a discussion like adults, he’s run off with his tail between his legs in panic.

*shrug* I wouldn’t be worried, as I said. It’s not someone who your partner would be actually interested in after all, and it did sound like it was meant all-in-fun. Just sayin’- consider that it might have been an overreaction on everyone’s part. 🙂

Consider Checking Out...