14 Aug
It’s a Plane Engine, It’s My Husband Snoring!

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

My Husband snores. A Lot. So much that it wakes my two year old and me since we co-sleep. We’ve tried everything (from kicking him off the bed, literally, punching him, poking him, and the occasionally yelling “stop snoring”) and I just dont know what to do anymore. We’ve tried every OTC crap and nothing works on him. How the hell do I get him to get treated by a doctor and stop snoring? I don’t want to have to smother him with a pillow.

Signed,

A Very Loving Wife About to Smother Her Snoring Husband.

__________________________________________

Dear Pre-Smotherer,

Funny, I have a similar problem. I want to smother him, but am afraid to ruin the pillow.

Because of my husband’s snoring, I’ve laid awake many a night, plotting his demise. Hours that I could have better spent catching up on the first few seasons of Rock of Love and other forms of self- improvement.

I see that you’ve already tried some tricks that I was going to suggest, but, as with so many things in life, it’s all in the timing. For example, when you lovingly tap him, in the hopes to wake him up so that he’ll stop the snoring, are you ready to fall asleep the second that he wakes up? Because the immediate-fall-asleep-before-snoring-resumes is essential.

Also, you can encourage him (by rolling him over) to sleep on his side, since in my experience, snoring is a lot worse when the sleeper is on his back (the snoring is almost entirely eliminated, however, when the snorer is cleaning the kitchen after you’ve gone to bed).

Check out this website that provides all sorts of advice for the snorer and the people who love him (why does it always seem to be a him?).   Just be warned that the tips include losing weight (always easy and fun!) and not taking medication (not great advice if you’re trying to control your blood pressure!).

Your instincts about getting him medical treatment are correct. Speak to him about your concerns about his health, to say nothing of your sanity. Bribe him with “I’m sure there is a simple medical solution that is painless and will involve lots of sex” crap. Ultimately, however, if he refuses, explain to him that his snoring interferes with your and your child’s sleep and you are worried about the way that it is affecting all of you. Between the enticement and the guilt, he should be dashing to the doctor’s office in no time. Which would be a perfect time for you to take a nap.

Sweet Dreams,

Marinka, TMH

15 Responses to “It’s a Plane Engine, It’s My Husband Snoring!”

08.14.09#1

Comment by Sally.

I have heard this complaint often, from my husband. My doc insisted I have a sleep study. I found out that I have sleep apnea. When I researched it, I found out that it can cause all sorts of ailments, including death. I’d say start asking him how much life insurance he’s carrying. Maybe that will spur him on to be tested.

08.14.09#2

Comment by expateek.

One of my suggestions isn’t exactly helpful in the traditional sense, but what worked for me was to go sleep somewhere else (still in the same house, mind you). I know, I know, that doesn’t seem fair, but it works. I’ll tell you also, I didn’t realize that was “allowed” in happy marriages. Turns out, it can make a marriage happier! It also seems that as soon as I wander off and lie down somewhere else, I’m instantly asleep. Restful!

08.14.09#3

Comment by Akilah Sakai.

Take Sally’s advice. Sleep apnea can be very serious.

Good luck. I know a woman who makes her husband sleep in their guest bedroom because his snoring is horrible.

08.14.09#4

Comment by Ashlie- Mommycosm.

Oh, yeah. I feel your pain. My husband is a horrible snoring machine.

I read somewhere that drinking a teaspoon of olive oil before bed would help with snoring. He tried it out and it worked. Go figure. Now, getting him to remember to drink it before bed – that’s another battle.

08.14.09#5

Comment by Jane.

Sometimes his snoring so bad I start laughing because I think his kidding…… but he’s not

I sleep with ear plugs! Solved everything!

08.14.09#6

Comment by MommyTime.

Snoring can definitely be caused by needing to diet. But sleep apnea is a whole different ball of wax that can be really serious. Try this for a start to scare him a little. Or this for more useful information, including a standard sleepiness test that you can self-administer that will suggest whether he has a sleep disorder. I read an article in Time magazine sometime in the last year that said that partners of severe snorers often had sleep that was as disrupted as those who snored — which can lead the the kind of extreme sleepiness that causes car accidents and other risky behaviors. If not for himself, perhaps you can convince him to get this checked out on behalf of you and your child.

08.14.09#7

Comment by K-Line.

I agree that testing is in order, but in the meanwhile (or if he refuses) no reason for you to hallucinate with fatigue. Get him to sleep in a spare room or on the couch or in his study. Seriously. My husband is merely a loud breather and I routinely have him take his sighs elsewhere. We are both much more tolerable when we’ve slept.

08.14.09#8

Comment by Kay.

My trick is to make sure to be the first one in the bedroom – and sound asleep by the time he comes in. Because if he falls asleep first? I can almost guarantee that he’ll wake up with a pillow over his face.
If not, threats of no sex and him sleeping permanently on the couch might be enough motivation to get him to the doctor.

In an emergency, an elbow to the kidney area usually makes them move/turn over/curl into a ball to protect themselves. Not that I’d know that firsthand or anything…

08.14.09#9

Comment by Heather.

I’m glad a hard kick in the shin makes my husband stop. Of course, when I wake him up because I’m laughing in my sleep, he doesn’t kick me, so I guess I’m kind of mean. But then he steals the covers, so whatever.

08.14.09#10

Comment by Jack.

I’m sure there is a simple medical solution that is painless and will involve lots of sex” crap

And you think that we husbands don’t see right that. Hah! We know all of your tricks. No really, we do.

08.14.09#11

Comment by Arkie Mama.

After 8 1/2 years of suffering from this problem, I’ve found several coping measures that, while not always curative, make me feel enormously better. First, I hiss threateningly at him. Then I roll him over — hard enough to make the snoring stop, but not quite hard enough to send him toppling from the bed. (I sense, however, that a day of toppling is coming.) If that doesn’t do it, I combine a roll with a kick in the shins and a snarl. Usually, that stops the snoring for a good 15 minutes, long enough for me to fall back asleep. As for medical solutions? Ha. I recommend Ambien. For you.

08.16.09#12

Comment by pammie.

Interestingly – if my hubby forgets to wear his CPAP machine (see sleep apnea comments above), a hard kick or punch or slap or whatever has no effect whatsoever. He does roll over on cue, 15 years later; any snoring after that is actually disrupted by a soft brush of my fingers anywhere on his body.

Of course, the reprieve is short-lived, and fortunately these nights are fewer and fewer now that he’s adjusted to the CPAP being a part of our nightly routine. Before he was convinced to go through the sleep study, the only thing that worked for me was making sure he stayed up later than me. And that wasn’t fool-proof. I am convinced that my sleep was disrupted far more than his was.

08.17.09#13

Comment by Pamela.

thank you oh wise Marinka. I’m printing out that site that you recommended!

Here’s hoping the ‘no sex till you stop snoring’ trick works!

08.22.09#14

Comment by Miranda.

My husband’s snoring makes me wanna run through the village screaming, “SAVE THE TREEST!!!” I gave hubs two options…. get a sleep study or I kill you dead. Seriously. Lack of sleep=temporary insanity, I was confident any jury would have understood.

Lets take a step back to husband playing middle school baseball. Mini-husband is outfield, running for a fly ball, eyes to the sky and instead of hubs catching the ball, the chain-link fence caught hubs’ face. The ER said he was fine…just bruised.

UNH-UH!!!!!

15 years later his sleep doctor discovers a hair-line fracture in his schnoze that is affecting his sleep so much he is border-lining on Apnea. So, now he has this sleep machine thing with this hose attached to a nose plug thing. He looks like a giant butterfly. Now hubs is faced with yet another set of options…. have surgery to fix the fracture and sleep like a normal person OR look like Snuffalupagus every night forEVER. Sexy.

04.14.10#15

Comment by synaptium.

Wonderful article. I too have a husband that snores. I was frustrated for 4 years. He finally had snoring surgery and everything is fine now.
Check top top stop snoring solutions for help on the snoring cures.

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