Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My Husband snores. A Lot. So much that it wakes my two year old and me since we co-sleep. We’ve tried everything (from kicking him off the bed, literally, punching him, poking him, and the occasionally yelling “stop snoring”) and I just dont know what to do anymore. We’ve tried every OTC crap and nothing works on him. How the hell do I get him to get treated by a doctor and stop snoring? I don’t want to have to smother him with a pillow.
A Very Loving Wife About to Smother Her Snoring Husband.
Funny, I have a similar problem. I want to smother him, but am afraid to ruin the pillow.
Because of my husband’s snoring, I’ve laid awake many a night, plotting his demise. Hours that I could have better spent catching up on the first few seasons of Rock of Love and other forms of self- improvement.
I see that you’ve already tried some tricks that I was going to suggest, but, as with so many things in life, it’s all in the timing. For example, when you lovingly tap him, in the hopes to wake him up so that he’ll stop the snoring, are you ready to fall asleep the second that he wakes up? Because the immediate-fall-asleep-before-snoring-resumes is essential.
Also, you can encourage him (by rolling him over) to sleep on his side, since in my experience, snoring is a lot worse when the sleeper is on his back (the snoring is almost entirely eliminated, however, when the snorer is cleaning the kitchen after you’ve gone to bed).
Check out this website that provides all sorts of advice for the snorer and the people who love him (why does it always seem to be a him?). Just be warned that the tips include losing weight (always easy and fun!) and not taking medication (not great advice if you’re trying to control your blood pressure!).
Your instincts about getting him medical treatment are correct. Speak to him about your concerns about his health, to say nothing of your sanity. Bribe him with “I’m sure there is a simple medical solution that is painless and will involve lots of sex” crap. Ultimately, however, if he refuses, explain to him that his snoring interferes with your and your child’s sleep and you are worried about the way that it is affecting all of you. Between the enticement and the guilt, he should be dashing to the doctor’s office in no time. Which would be a perfect time for you to take a nap.