Today, we’re lucky enough to have Liz from Flourish in Progress giving out advice. If you’re not a regular reader of Liz’s blog yet, just you wait. Between the Monday Dares and updates on her No Shopping Project, Liz consistently hits the funny mark. Besides the funny, one of the reasons that I love Liz is that there is always an element of surprise in her posts. Something that you just didn’t see coming (in case you weren’t sure what “surprise” meant.) This is the post that started my adoration for Liz. Enjoy! – Marinka
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I’m in trouble and I really need some clear perspective on my problem, ’cause my brain feels like jelly right now…really thick, dark kind of kelly. I’ve been with my husband for 13 years, married for the last 8 years and we have a 2 year old boy. I’ve been a SAHM since he was born. My husband and I have had our ups and downs, like everyone else, and the last couple of years have been difficult. I thought we loved each other enough to get through it all, it seems I was wrong.
While working on my PC, I discovered some cookies with addresses of sites for adults only…and one of those addresses led me to a site which connects people who are searching for sex partners available near our location. Since my husband and I are the only ones who use this PC, my heart stopped.
I’ve confronted him about it, but he denies everything, his explanation being that it must be a virus on the computer. And I don’t know what to believe or to do. I feel angry, sad, lost…Please put me out of my misery and offer me some guidance.
Dear What Now,
First things first: Do you want your husband to stay or do you want your husband to go?
Normally, I’d suggest an honest heart-to-heart, but I can see that’s not going to work here. A virus? Please. The only virus here is the douchebag bug that’s infected your husband.
If you find it in your heart to forgive him, remind me to send you a medal. Personally, I’d rather bust my own kneecaps than forgive a man who’s trolling the internet for sex with strangers. Ask yourself: are you okay with this happening again? Is this the kind of behavior you want your son to learn? Are you teaching your son that this kind of tomfoolery is okay if you stay? (Answer key: No, No, Yes.)
If we were sitting across from each other, this is where I would supply you with several cocktails, take your hand, and tell you this-
Homegirl, let’s keep it real. Life is too short and your time is too limited to put off being happy and secure for any longer. If you choose to move on with your marriage, you’ll become obsessed with checking his mobile devices, computer, and mail. You won’t be living your own life. You’ll be trapped into making sure another person is living their life correctly. And that’s just not something you can do.
This is all coming from a place of someone who truly gets what you’re going through. I spent too many sleepless nights being miserable over a partner’s deceit before I made the choice to let him go. You know what? He’s still the same person today. An asshole. Letting him go was one of the best decisions I ever made. More importantly, it freed me to meet the right person.
I want that for you. You deserve it.