That’s right biatches, we are BACK. The Mouthy Housewives have stuffed ourselves full of candy canes and fruit cakes and put back enough spiked eggnog to hydrate a small army.
We wanted to come back sooner but Wendi kept saying she couldn’t get the right shade of blonde for her hair, Marinka was attending a rigorous interfaith class with her cat who is now a born again Christian, Karen was obsessed with coming up with baby names for Kimye and well, Kristine was last seen near the Mexico boarder ranting and raving about Honey Boo Boo. But we have regrouped, freshened our lip gloss and are now ready to improve your lives. Boy, we really missed you.
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I’ve learned that my husband does role play chats online. This is basically when you pretend you are another character online with others and talk with each other for fun. What has me conflicted is that he has been doing sex role plays with people online.
I confronted him about it the other night and he admitted to it. I had been suspecting it because I would notice that when I came into the room he would immediately exit out of the window so I wouldn’t see what he was typing. We talked about it and he told me that I shouldn’t be bothered by it because he’s not playing himself when he is doing these sexual roles and that they don’t having anything to do with his real life.
I understand what he is saying but I am still conflicted. To me it feels like just another form of a sex chat. That feels like cheating and it rubs me the wrong way. But at the same time, I wonder if I’m viewing it wrong. Because I read romance novels and have read things like Fifty Shades. Reading sex scenes in those books are entertaining but it doesn’t pertain to my real life. I don’t read them because I feel unfulfilled in my marriage. I love my husband very much.
So what do you guys think?
Fifty Shades of Hurt and Confused
Dear Fifty Shades,
I think you might just be the most understanding wife ever because I got upset at my husband last night when he conveniently forgot to check his texts which instructed him to start dinner for the kids. Man, I never thought I could get that riled up over chicken nuggets. In fact, half way through my ranting, I couldn’t even remember why I was so mad.
But you sound pretty damn calm over this sex chat thing. So let me see if I can get you riled up. You are a good wife to listen to his side of this and actually contemplate if he has a point. But in my opinion, he does not.
Yes, you read Fifty Shades of Grey which has some pretty hard core sex scenes and this would be equivalent to him reading Playboy or Hustler. But he’s not reading some sex magazine, he’s role playing and having sex chats online with strangers. See the difference?
So would he be okay if you sexted with one of your ex-boyfriends or a stranger online? I mean, you’re playing a role. The role of a single, available female who is having fun on the internet. And it has nothing to do with your real life. Right?! I’m guessing he wouldn’t be okay with it.
The problem is that it can affect your real life. He’s getting his sexual urges fulfilled by strangers online instead of his own wife. This has the potential to greatly affect your relationship. Look, I get it. Marriage gets dull and it’s hard to keep the sexual spark alive. Maybe there is a way for you to role play together in the bedroom. Maybe he can pretend you are some stranger he met online. Or watch a porno together. Or he can read you passages from Fifty Shades. My point is – instead of hiding his sexual desires from you, he needs to share them with you.
Don’t be afraid to do a few sessions with a therapist to get you through this rocky period. Sometimes a third party can help you navigate tough, embarrassing conversations.