Dear Mouthy Housewives,
About three months ago, my 40-year-old husband started becoming healthy. He eats better, he works out, and he’s lost 25 pounds. He looks amazing. The problem is, now he wants me to join him. I work out a few times a week, and I eat fairly well, but I don’t want to get over-zealous like he is. This is leading to a lot of arguments. Should I just start drinking the wheat grass and shut up?
Healthy But Not Nutty
Dear Healthy But Not Nutty,
No, you shouldn’t drink the wheat grass and shut up. What you should do is secretly check his email and text messages, because is he having an affair? I get suspicious of any middle-aged married man who takes a sudden interest in getting in shape.
Even if he isn’t cheating, I hate him anyway for losing 25 pounds in three months. I’ve been doing the 30-Day Shred religiously (I have a Jillian shrine and everything) and have only lost ten pounds in a year.
Now, we’ll assume he isn’t having an affair. We can probably also assume he doesn’t consider lifting the TV remote or running to the freezer for a scoop of ice cream “working out.” So we’re dealing with a fanatic. What to do?
First, are you healthy and hot-looking already? If so, tell him you don’t have to be an exercise zealot to look good. It may not prevent an argument, but at least you’ll have the last word, which is a desirable marriage practice here at The Mouthy Housewives.
However, the rest of society seems to find the ability to compromise a valuable marriage practice. This is the same society where grown women lust over teenage vampires, so clearly society is insane. Should we care what they think? Stand by your own exercise principles. Be an example of moderation and balance for your husband. After all, there is more to life than pumping iron.