Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My husband and I have been together for 6 years and have 3 kids together. He works 2 jobs (one he works 4 nights a week, the other only 1-3 night) and I stay home with the kids. My problem is that we are not connecting like we did when we first got married. He comes home 3 hours after work, jumps on the computer to play World of Warcraft or watch porn when no one is around. He does this until his bedtime and then off to work again.
I get no help with the cooking, the kids, or cleaning, and he’s no longer affectionate. I feel like I have a roommate not a husband. Sometimes I just want to walk away. I don’t know if I’m wrong for feeling this way and or what to do. Please help.
No Help and Alone
Dear No Help and Alone,
I assume you are point blank asking him for help as opposed to relying on your powers of telepathy? See, it takes a powerfully talented woman to control others with our mind. We’re a rare breed so for the majority of the female population, you actually have to use words to express what you want.
Another important and crucial step is to determine before marriage whether your man is a stupid jerk. (It may be too late for you, I don’t know.) This is where many women go wrong. They marry a stupid jerk and then wonder why he acts like a stupid jerk. I don’t know what to say to these women, because, duh.
However, if he isn’t a stupid jerk and you aren’t connecting like you did when you first married, then let me be the first to welcome you to real life with kids. It is harder to stay connected as a couple when you have kids. That’s just part of the game. But what makes it even harder is having a spouse who doesn’t help at all with your life at home.
Some men have stuck in their heads (probably from watching too many Brady Bunch reruns as a kid) that they go to work and their job is done, there are no other responsibilities in life. And I guess that could be true. For husbands who do not want to have sex.
Let’s forget about telepathic powers, that’s not where a woman’s power lies. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about, and it never ceases to amaze me the number of women who underutilize this power. This isn’t about passive-aggressive behavior on our part. This is about logic. It is ridiculous (and disrespectful) to expect the wife to take care of everything. In fact, the only other ingrates that operate on this assumption are our children. So your husband is treating you like his mother. Do you know what is NOT acceptable in our society? Having sex with your mother.
So, basically, if your husband takes you for granted like his mother, you aren’t allowed to have sex with him, the end.
18 Responses to “Help, I May Have Married a Jerk”
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