Get A Little Closer
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I have been married for 7 years and we have 3 beautiful children together. Lately, though, it seems we do not talk and there is distance between us. What should I do? Please help.
Signed,
Desperate to Connect
______________________________________________________________________
Dear Desperate to Connect,
Congratulations on being married fifteen years! We all know seven years is the new fifteen years in today’s marriage. I’ve been married fourteen years (which is actually 67 in psycho years), so I hear you on the distance and lack of talking. I can’t remember the last time my husband and I talked about something other than Little League practice schedules and the next Netflix movie in our queue.
Most experts recommend couples hire a babysitter to stay connected. Obviously those people aren’t experts in the current economic times. Just like they did during the Great Depression, we’re going to have to be a bit creative yet hopefully not resort to lingerie made out of flour sacks.
One suggestion to close the distance between you and your husband is to sit next to him on the couch. For ultimate closeness, sit on top of him. If he complains you’re blocking his view of the television, you might have to try those flour sack nighties.
For conversations starters, I recommend a healthy, intellectual debate, such as my personal favorite: Can you fix the toilet or do we need to call a damn plumber? Perhaps take on a fun house project together, such as finally walling off that padded room. Think of the decorating conversations you’ll have! Or try reading Shakespeare to one another after the kids are in bed, impressing each other with how much parenthood has atrophied your brain.
Before you know it, you and your husband will be talking and connecting once or again! Possibly through tin cans running to and from the padded room, but hey, you’re talking and connecting.
Signed,
Heather, TMH
7 Responses to “Get A Little Closer”
Comment by Betty Herbert.
It is my duty & responsibililty to suggest, at this point, that you embark on a long project of seductions. What’s not to like, eh?
[Reply]
Comment by joeinvegas.
I’d vote with the sit on him suggestion, but add ‘no clothes’ while doing it. That should get his attention.
[Reply]
Comment by Hippo Brigade.
…impressing each other with how much parenthood has atrophied your brain.
That was funny.
I often wonder why I am so dumb, and then I realize, the kids are making me dumb.
But maybe it has more to do with the fact that I was never smart in the first place…
[Reply]
Comment by writingmama04.
This is going to sound so completely, utterly lame – and it mostly is – but I’ve been married 17 years – plus the 5 years we were together before making it official so that counts as practially platinum-worthy these days. We play – Words with Friends – you know that dopey Scrabble-esque game – on our iPhones. During the day – we stay connected that way. I know some jobs do not allow for that kind of slacking – but it allows us to be in each others thoughts throughout the day and somehow be connected. In this day – when every other person in my hood is talking to a divorce lawyer, you do what you can do to keep that spark alive ….
[Reply]
Comment by Desperate Dietwives.
It may seem banal, but I would recommend a common project-activity involving only the two of you.
Something like Tango classes for instance, you know what interests you two have in common: try to pursue one of them, something that implies going outside and leaving the children behind with a granny or a baby sitter.
[Reply]
Comment by 35 years and counting.
I’ve been married for 35 years…yes, I’m a dinosaur. I (still) love & like my husband. I will tell you “one” thing that we have to deal with today that was never an issue before. Cell phone/internet/Facebook/email distractions. If we are not careful he sits in one room on the computer and I sit in another on my iphone. Trust me, this creates distance even when neither of you is doing anything “wrong”!!
Turn your computer and cell phones off from 6-10pm. Or at least agree with your spouse that you will not check any messages/emails/status updates etc during this time. If someone NEEDS to talk to you then let them actually call you.
THEN, sit on the couch together. I never watch baseball but I will watch the World Series together with my husband. Hey it’s a maximum of 7 games! Talk. Fold clothes together. Plan your next vacation. OR, talk and laugh about all the crazy things that you read on FB prior to 6pm.
[Reply]
Leave a Comment
The Mouthy Housewives respect everyone's opinion, however, if you're attacking other commentors, you will be deleted. And sent to your room until you can play nicely.
RSS Feed
Comment by Keyona.
Where would I find these so called flour sacks?
[Reply]