Geographically Incompatible Couple Seeks Help
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My husband of 21 years just told me if he weren’t married to me, he’d be living in the desert. I didn’t freak out. I simply responded calmly and honestly by telling him that if I weren’t married to him, I’d be living on the North Carolina coast.
There’s no way I can live landlocked. There’s no way he can live with any more humidity than we already deal with here in New England. I like him plenty and love him a lot. I’m just wondering if I should leave him now or wait until he retires in 18-20 years at which point I’ll likely be dead.
Signed,
We’re Both Ready To Move – Just To Different Places
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Dear We’re Both Ready To Move,
Let me quickly review some of the sacrifices I’ve made for my own marriage. I am constantly cleaning up clutter because my husband thinks our dresser is the ideal place to store 90% of his stuff. I don’t get to follow Justin Bieber on his worldwide tour because I have a family to take care of. And I don’t get to sleep with hot lifeguards. We all make sacrifices.
And I understand your distress because I hate living in New York where, in my opinion, it’s FREEZING six months out of the year. My dream is to live by the beach in LA or Miami where it’s warm and sunny all year long. Meanwhile my husband would love to live in Italy, eating pasta and drinking red wine every day. But his employer is in New York City so unless somebody starts paying me a lot of money to clean all the junk off our dresser each week, we’ll be staying right here – drinking lots of red wine in our living room.
It’s perfectly normal for couples to want to live somewhere else. But that’s what a marriage is – COMPROMISE. It ain’t pretty but it actually works. It you like and love your husband, I would stay put. Because those North Carolina beaches can get pretty lonely without a significant other. Plan a girls weekend there ASAP and suddenly you won’t feel so frustrated.
Signed,
Kelcey, TMH
13 Responses to “Geographically Incompatible Couple Seeks Help”
Comment by Melissa Mommy Grind.
Compromise – that’s what it is all about.
We made the move from NYC to Scottsdale – not so horrific after all! Great weather – we certainly haven’t needed the shovel since we’ve been here and the ocean is just a few hour away! We made a real easy transition! All I can say is give it a try!
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Comment by Wendi.
My cousin & her freak husband have been married for 20 years even though she lives in reality & he doesn’t.
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Jennifer June Reply:
October 25th, 2010 at 2:52 pm
Wendi, you don’t have to answer me right away. I’m just planting the seed because I was wondering if you might consider having my babies.
Think it over…
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Comment by Jennifer.
Before we were married, my husband and I tried that whole “you live in Florida, I’ll stay here” thing. It didn’t work… Compromise is your best bet…
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Comment by dusty earth mother.
The good “C” word–compromise. My hubby wanted us to move to Maine where he grew up. I said, “No WAY am I living anywhere colder than where we already live.” He pouted and put his flannel jeans away. I think I won on both counts.
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Comment by Rojopaul.
“I am constantly cleaning up clutter because my husband thinks our dresser is the ideal place to store 90% of his stuff.” ME TOO, ME TOO! I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW!
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Comment by JubanMama.
I was born and raised in Miami. Trust me, it’s not a healthy place to live or to raise children, unless you want them to grow up to be coke dealers, strippers, or lawyers.
Isn’t there someplace on earth that offers both desert and a coastline? Isn’t California like that?
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Comment by Charity.
Maybe you can find someplace that is more of middle ground for both of you.
My husband would love to live out in the middle of nowhere, whereas I am a city girl through and through. We found a house on almost an acre that is about seven minutes from downtown Fort Worth and 20 minutes from downtown Dallas. He has some room to play (we could even have chickens or a horse!) and I’m still minutes away from coffee and people watching or shopping.
Our house is really old and in need of repair. We sometimes talk of moving rather than deal with all the work. That will never happen, though, because we’d never agree on one place and end up in separate houses. 
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Comment by Heather, TMH.
Every night I compromise on the amount of blankets I get, meaning I wake up in the middle of the night with a tiny corner of the sheet while my husband is rolled all up in our blankets.
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Comment by marathonmom.
Just throw some sand on his side of the bed and plan a spa day.
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Comment by Jennifer June.
Quit taking each-other for granted.
Take vacations, take turns, make compromises and love each other up.
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Rojopaul Reply:
October 20th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
That is hilarious.
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