Dear Mouthy Housewives,
Is it wrong to ask my husband to pitch in with housework and cooking so that I can pursue my career goals and business ideas? After all, he is at home on a temporary disability (but he has recovered completely) and has the stamina to go to school full time. I would rather have a productive creative session or a happy play date with my 2-year-old son than run home to clean the dishes and cook meals 7 days a week. Sometimes I feel I married the wrong man. It seems like he’s stuck in the 1950s and I just want “me” time.
Don’t Want to Stand by the Man
Dear Don’t Want to Stand by the Man,
Hmm, if I were to judge by the marriage questions we get at TMH, I would have to say the matrimonial world is full of lazy husbands. Research shows that when men get married they actually gain an hour of free time, but women gain 7 more hours of work. I don’t know about you but that statistic makes my ass want to suck a sour lemon.
Even though I learned the hard way to steer clear of playgroups, even I would rather go to a play date than run home to clean. Come on, I would rather have a gynecological exam than clean. Alas, dishes still get dirtied (from all that cooking) and my gynecologist isn’t attractive, so where does that leave me? Frustrated and unfulfilled in more ways than one.
To answer your question, no, it isn’t wrong to ask your husband to pitch in and help. By today’s standards I have a 1950s marriage. My husband makes the money and I take care of the home, though I do have a “little” part-time job. However, I don’t hesitate to ask him to pitch in around the house and – here’s the best part – he does it without any complaint or whining.
I don’t think the fact that my husband helps out when asked means I married the right man and you didn’t. If that were true, almost every woman I know married the wrong man. I think it means I got over the fact that I have to ask my husband for help, and then ask for the same help next week, and the next, and the next. I think it means I learned to take my “me” time without waiting for his approval or good mood. It also means my husband learned that I find bestiality repulsive and will refuse to have sex with a jackass.
(That last sentence is a very important lesson.)
So ask away, and remember: just say no to bestiality!