26 Aug
For a Happy Marriage, Just Say No to Bestiality

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

Is it wrong to ask my husband to pitch in with housework and cooking so that I can pursue my career goals and business ideas? After all, he is at home on a temporary disability (but he has recovered completely) and has the stamina to go to school full time. I would rather have a productive creative session or a happy play date with my 2-year-old son than run home to clean the dishes and cook meals 7 days a week. Sometimes I feel I married the wrong man. It seems like he’s stuck in the 1950s and I just want “me” time.

Signed,
Don’t Want to Stand by the Man

_____________________________________

Dear Don’t Want to Stand by the Man,

Hmm, if I were to judge by the marriage questions we get at TMH, I would have to say the matrimonial world is full of lazy husbands. Research shows that when men get married they actually gain an hour of free time, but women gain 7 more hours of work. I don’t know about you but that statistic makes my ass want to suck a sour lemon.

Even though I learned the hard way to steer clear of playgroups, even I would rather go to a play date than run home to clean.  Come on, I would rather have a gynecological exam than clean. Alas, dishes still get dirtied (from all that cooking) and my gynecologist isn’t attractive, so where does that leave me? Frustrated and unfulfilled in more ways than one.

To answer your question, no, it isn’t wrong to ask your husband to pitch in and help. By today’s standards I have a 1950s marriage. My husband makes the money and I take care of the home, though I do have a “little” part-time job. However, I don’t hesitate to ask him to pitch in around the house and – here’s the best part – he does it without any complaint or whining.

I don’t think the fact that my husband helps out when asked means I married the right man and you didn’t. If that were true, almost every woman I know married the wrong man. I think it means I got over the fact that I have to ask my husband for help, and then ask for the same help next week, and the next, and the next. I think it means I learned to take my “me” time without waiting for his approval or good mood. It also means my husband learned that I find bestiality repulsive and will refuse to have sex with a jackass.

(That last sentence is a very important lesson.)

So ask away, and remember: just say no to bestiality!

Sincerely,
Heather, TMH

8 Responses to “For a Happy Marriage, Just Say No to Bestiality”

08.26.09#1

Comment by Inna.

hahahha! I love your reasoning.
I actually do less cleaning around the house than the fiance. Then again, we’re not married yet, so we’ll see what happens then.

08.26.09#2

Comment by Wendi.

The bestiality line made me think of something I once saw in Tijuana. Thanks a lot for that memory, Heather.

08.26.09#3

Comment by Mary.

It also helps to remember (this is very important) that men actually lack the gene that allows them to realize something is a mess. They need you to be their seeing eye helper. True story.

08.26.09#4

Comment by Finn.

The most important thing to remember is that it is not “help.” Help is when you make the mess by yourself but ask him to work with you to clean it up. He’s at least half the problem, so he needs to step up and DO HIS PART. You are not a maid service. There’s nothing wrong with expecting him to participate.

And yes, you’ll have to keep reminding him.

08.26.09#5

Comment by Heather.

Somewhere in the feminist movement, amidst all the bra-burning, we neglected to say “BTW. I will no longer pick up your dirty underwear and socks off of the floor”. We’ve been screaming for equal rights and equal pay…but we’re still doing all the housework, cooking, and we delight in the fact that our hubby’s will “watch” the kids so that we can get a root canal. Division of labor is only fair and reasonable. Sure, if your spouse works for pay, you should do more of the stuff at home. But if you both work outside the home (and I’m saying hours, not dollars) it’s only fair to divide the rest.

08.26.09#6

Comment by Heather, TMH.

Hmm, Heather, apparently our names aren’t the only thing we have in common. I like the way you think.

08.26.09#7

Comment by Katie.

Two things:

1. – My b/f actually PLEADED with me once “just ASK me, cause I don’t have a clue what you need, I’ll never know. If you ask though, I’ll do it!” He’s right. And now he always unloads the dishwasher and scoops my kitty box. 😀

2. – The thought of Wendi in Tijuana actually worries me. The idea that it involved bestiality TERRIFIES me.

09.03.09#8

Comment by The Next Great Marital Debate: Pedicures or the Poor House | Queen of Shake Shake.

[…] I pointed out over at TMHs, when you get married, research proves men actually gain an hour of free time a week while the […]

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