26 Aug
Can I Skip Out on My Husband’s Birthday?

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

My husband’s birthday is coming up. It’s not a significant birthday and my book club is the same night. I really want to go to the book club because I actually finished the book and loved it. My husband says it’s fine and we’ll celebrate the night before. Is it okay if I go or am I a bad wife?

Bookish Betty


Dear Bookish Betty,

I guess it depends. Is your husband the passive-aggressive type that will tell you, “oh sure, go ahead and do that honey,” and then get angry if you do, because even though he said it was okay to go, if you really loved him, you wouldn’t go?

If he’s that type, don’t go, unless you enjoy passive-aggressive marital merry-go-rounds. It’s not my idea of fun in a marriage. I prefer fun marital games such as, I cook and you do the dishes!

If he’s not the passive-aggressive type, then it’s up to you whether to skip out and go to the book club, or celebrate his birthday on his actual birthday. I think the Golden Rule would apply well in this situation. Would you be hurt? We’re all getting up in there in age and there comes a point when a big celebration for your average odd-numbered birthday just doesn’t matter.   It’s one of those things that sort of sucks about being a grown-up: We get death, taxes, and unexciting birthdays in exchange for cursing and alcoholic beverages. Maybe it really doesn’t matter to him.

But before making your decision, I think we should interpret the man-speak that is screaming at me from between the lines. When your husband says, “we’ll celebrate the night before,” you know what that means, right? It means in exchange for skipping out on his actual birthday, you are expected to perform odd and kinky sex tricks the night before.   If these tricks involve excessive amounts of lubricant and a morning-after treatment of hemorrhoid cream, I’m of the opinion that no book club is worth it. I don’t care if I made it through the Iliad and could interpret the hexameters so well that it left the book club members not only speechless, but scrambling for a plaque to inscribe my name and greatness in their own poetic hexameters. NO. However something like that may be right up your (ahem) alley, and if so, please seek immediate professional help – none of the Mouthy Housewives have any experience with proctology and would be unable to help you further.

Heather, TMH

12 Responses to “Can I Skip Out on My Husband’s Birthday?”


Comment by The Good Cook.

Every birthday is significant. My husband just passed away. Very sudden, very unexpected. No book club is worth not spending the night with your man.


Comment by Wendi.

Oh, my goodness was this funny.


Comment by Mommycosm.

I must agree with The Good Cook…and send hugs her way.

Every birthday IS significant.

Besides, if you don’t make him feel special on his birthday, then he might just reciprocate. So, unless you want to be made to feel that a book is more important than you on your special day – skip the book club and celebrate the reasons why your husband is special while you can. Seriously.


Comment by dusty earth mother.

Stay with your husband. AND perform his odd sex tricks the night before. (Except for the one Heather described so beautifully without ever actually saying anything naughty.) You’ll be glad you did.


Comment by GrandeMocha.

Heather nailed it. It depends on the guy.

My hubby is passive-aggressive all the way. He would say go ahead & be pissy about for a long time.

My dad couldn’t care less. He wouldn’t care if we never celebrated Christmas, birthdays, holidays ever again.


Comment by thepsychobabble.

I vote celebrate the night before. Every birthday should be celebrated, yes, but who says you can’t celebrate early?


Comment by Nicole.

Ugh, this is why I hate birthdays…oh, the pressure on that one single day. Personally at this point I’d rather have the story to tell “my husband went to a soccer game on my birthday and all I got was a lousy giant cake that I bought and ate myself” than something that probably won’t live up to my expectations.


Comment by Momof4Luds.

With 4 kids and all 6 of us having active, involved lives, there are often conflicts and sometimes that includes birthdays. For instance #3’s 18th just recently fell 2 days after she was due at college for freshman orientation – so we celebrated before she left. I’m with psychobabble: definitely celebrate but does it really make a difference if it’s on the actual day?


Comment by Plano Mom.

Oh the trials of reading someone’s mind. But seriously, a book is more interesting and exciting than your husband? Even on his birthday?


Comment by Marinka, The Mouthy Housewives.

Please. Presidents have their birthdays observed on a Monday, so can your husband.


Comment by SillyRnti.

Hm…my hus and I must be in the “dates are flexible” category. Any birthdays or our anniversary falling on a weekday gets a celebration on the weekend. I’d take Heather’s advice and ask him to gauge his response. Personally I’d mock and/or divorice a guy who had to have a celebration on his special day(!) and no other but that’s just me.


Comment by Desperate Dietwives.

Couldn’t you ask your friends of the Book Club to shift the meeting just this once?

I would feel very uneasy if I went, no matter how much I celebrated the night before.

Consider Checking Out...