22 Jun
Are You Surprised Or Did You Get Your Brows Waxed?

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I’ve been married for twelve wonderful years.   Until this year, when my husband decided a few months ago to get his eyebrows waxed into thin little things that I find completely repulsive.   It’s just so effeminate and eww.

I know that the trend is for men to get beauty treatments and be all metrosexual, but that’s not what I looked for in a life partner.

I told him that it’s a real turn off and he doesn’t understand what the big deal is.   The big deal is that it’s a turn-off.   He has done it twice so far and OMFG, what if he keeps doing it?

Any tips on how to get him to knock it off?

Signed,

Unibrow Fan

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Dear Unibrow Fan,

It’s always fun to see how the whole What’s Good For The Gander Is Good For the Goose thing plays out in real life, isn’t it?

After years of watching you go through tweezings, bleachings, waxings and Botoxing (I’m just guessing here) the poor guy wanted to give it a shot and this is the thanks that he gets?   Hmph.   How would you feel if it turned him off that you vote in the primaries because he considers the right to vote masculine?

This is the thin line that you’re walking, lady.   And it’s way thinner than your husband’s new eyebrows.

So if you have a solid marriage and you already told him that you don’t love the new look, drop it.   Part of marriage is supporting each other’s choices.   And you will need his support when you opt for the fashion trends that are predicted for this summer (bell bottom jeans, help us all.)

I have three suggestions,   presented in no particular order, but with 1 being the best and 3 being the worst.

1. Let it go.   They’re his eyebrows.

2. Avert your eyes whenever speaking to him and keep them tightly shut during intimate moments.   (Them = eyes; Intimate moments = sex).

3. Withhold sex until his eyebrows grow out.   The longer, the better.

Good luck with your decision,

Marinka, TMH

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15 Responses to “Are You Surprised Or Did You Get Your Brows Waxed?”

06.22.11#1

Comment by chris10.

I say you try and compromise. Try talking to him and asking if he could try just having them waxed a little thicker. and if your up to it ask if theres anything about you hed like to alter a tad. (but warning: knowing mens inability to be sensitive that could be a bad idea. lol)

06.22.11#2

Comment by Emily.

I say you really try to get him to understand that it’s a turnoff to have them that skinny. And perhaps like Chris10 said, compromise on thicker ones.

When men insist on doing things that their spouses find unattractive, it always makes you wonder who they’re trying to attract.

06.22.11#3

Comment by Miss S.

I love how you say “if you have a solid marriage”. That statement brings me to the obvious. Anytime a man takes on a grooming thing TWELVE years in, it should be an alarm for the woman. There are only 2 things that can get a man to wax. 1) Another woman 2) Another man. If he starts working out and eating flax seeds, it’s the former. If he starts using skin care products and raves about Adam Lambert’s vibrato, it’s the latter. I see the waxing as a warning sign. Tell him he looks like Ru Paul and see how he reacts. If he thinks it’s a compliment, you’re in trouble.

trace Reply:

love this response ! brilliant !!!
and on a serious note, when a man starts crazy worrying about grooming, clothing…keep your eyes peeled cause something may be about to hit the fan !

06.22.11#4

Comment by Wendi.

I think you’re missing a great opportunity to role play here. Nothing’s sexier than “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?” in the bedroom.

Cheryl Reply:

Your brain scares me.

More frighteningly, I kinda like it.

06.22.11#5

Comment by KP.

I think you need to go with him to the next waxing appt and supervise. The allure of doing something he knows annoys you might be less exciting when you become allies with the women at the spa.

06.22.11#6

Comment by Minka.

I have tampered with my appearance on many occasions — hair length, hair color, width of eyebrows, wearing eye glasses, wearing contact lenses, getting tattoos and piercings… But my husband put his foot down at the nose piercing. I just wanted the cute little diamond stud right in the crease of outside of the nostril where you can only see it if you see my profile and you’re up close.

But no — he really seriously wanted no part of that. He’s tolerated pretty much every other thing I’ve done. He hasn’t always loved my choices — ie he prefers me with shorter hair rather than long (weird, I know, but true), yet I frequently grow it out long, and he seems to prefer me with darker hair rather than light. So, right now — my hair is long… and blonde. And he deals with it.

Yet, the nose piercing is the only thing he has said would totally turn him off. So, I have not done it, despite all my “it’s my damn body!” protestations. Because the fact is, even though I own my body, it would still be ideal for my husband to want to have sex with me. So when he says something is a turn-off, I have to listen.

Not preferring something is not the same as a turn-off. I agree with the advice above — if he wants it so badly that he’s willing to turn you off sexually, then he’ll have to deal with not getting laid. Pretty simple. However, if he’s okay with that consequence, I’d have to ask myself why he doesn’t care about you not wanting to have sex with him or not being sexually attracted to him. Scary question to contemplate, so hopefully he’ll just grow his damn eyebrows back in. And yeah, I’d also put yourself in his shoes and ask him if there’s anything about your appearance that he’d like you to alter. Another scary question. Marriage is some hard shit.

06.22.11#7

Comment by Karen at French Skinny.

Marinka’s right. They’re his eyebrows.
As Lady Hillingdon would say, “Close your eyes and think of England.”

06.22.11#8

Comment by Kimberly.

Mine got LASIK and apparently wasn’t good at holding still on his own during the procedure. Now I get to look at bloody eyes for the next several weeks. Try dealing with that horror – I’ll take the thin eyebrows.

06.22.11#9

Comment by dusty earth mother.

I tweezed my husband’s eyebrows once and he was dangerously close to fainting by the end. And said, “HOW do you women do it?” Which I loved, of course. Um… I think I’m talking about myself again.

06.22.11#10

Comment by Liz @ PeaceLoveGuac.

Do you have any guy friends who can tell him he looks like a complete tool? Maybe he just needs some male hazing.

Personally, I would give it one more go at persuading, then just drop it. I’m in a similar situation with my Hubs’ hair. He has grown it out to a “soccer cut” that looks way too mullet for my tastes.

Now I’m in the grin-and-bear-it mode and reminding myself that once upon a time I happily sported a large and frizzy permed hairdo.

06.22.11#11

Comment by Tonya.

Take page out of the Seinfeld book and draw angry eyebrows on yourself then tell him when he stops tweezing his you’ll stop drawing on yours.

06.23.11#12

Comment by Padded Cell Princess.

If he is changing his hair grooming then I only think it’s fair that you change yours! How about growing out those armpits, legs or nether regions? When he finds them a turn off, then you have your equal planes of compromise! Yes they are his eyebrows, but they are your armpits…and I think he’ll get the point pretty quickly.

06.29.11#13

Comment by thepsychobabble.

Would you want him dictating how you groomed/dressed?
If not, than mention it once and drop it.

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