Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I’m a straight, single man who wants to buy some decorative throw pillows. Do you have any ideas on how I can show that, while I may be a man, I don’t have to live like a bachelor?
First, I’m going to work on the assumption that we’re not speaking in code here. “Throw pillows” means throw pillows, right? Not, like, the liberator sex positioning wedge? Because that would be more up Wendi’s alley, I think.
Now that we have that cleared up, I can proceed in telling you that there is nothing to be ashamed of when you find yourself experiencing these strange new feelings for…throw pillows. As we age, our bodies and brains change! New chemicals are released that lead us to crave certain things! And sometimes that means puberty or menopause, but sometimes it means interior design, too!
One of my favorite places to
shop through my feelings look for fashion and design ideas is etsy. You just need to ask yourself what it is about yourself you’d like these pillows to express. Is it your trendy side? You can go with trendy designs, such as stripes or chevrons, but in masculine colors.
Or do you want them to speak to your quirky, hipster qualities? These might work.
Another option is to have fun with upcycling, suggesting to your potential mates that you are eco-friendly and possibly enjoy the smell of patchouli.
Or we could just cut to the chase, here, and just go for the pillows that are going to score you some tail. And if that’s your goal, then you should just empty your checking account for some pillows from Anthropologie.