23 Jul
I’m A Single Man With Needs…For Throw Pillows

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I’m a straight, single man who wants to buy some decorative throw pillows. Do you have any ideas on how I can show that, while I may be a man, I don’t have to live like a bachelor?

Signed,

Accessorizing Adam

_______________________

Dear AA,

First, I’m going to work on the assumption that we’re not speaking in code here. “Throw pillows” means throw pillows, right? Not, like, the liberator sex positioning wedge? Because that would be more up Wendi’s alley, I think.

Now that we have that cleared up, I can proceed in telling you that there is nothing to be ashamed of when you find yourself experiencing these strange new feelings for…throw pillows. As we age, our bodies and brains change! New chemicals are released that lead us to crave certain things! And sometimes that means puberty or menopause, but sometimes it means interior design, too!

One of my favorite places to shop through my feelings look for fashion and design ideas is etsy. You just need to ask yourself what it is about yourself you’d like these pillows to express. Is it your trendy side? You can go with trendy designs, such as stripes or chevrons, but in masculine colors.

Or do you want them to speak to your quirky, hipster qualities? These might work.

Another option is to have fun with upcycling, suggesting to your potential mates that you are eco-friendly and possibly enjoy the smell of patchouli.

Or we could just cut to the chase, here, and just go for the pillows that are going to score you some tail. And if that’s your goal, then you should just empty your checking account for some pillows from Anthropologie.

You’re welcome!

Kristine, TMH

Pillows can be found here, here, here, and here.

9 Responses to “I’m A Single Man With Needs…For Throw Pillows”

07.23.12#1

Comment by Plano Mom.

Do not worry about being a “man.” Women will find it incredibly sexy that you even care about pillows. Just stay clear of too much floral or anything too pink and you’ll be fine.

07.23.12#2

Comment by Allison.

I love this. Everything about this. And, if I could speak directly to AA here, how old are you (if you don’t mind me asking), and if you’re somewhere between 26-33, I’d like to just say: “Ha-ay…”

๐Ÿ™‚

Avitable Reply:

35. Too old?

Allison Reply:

Meh. I’m flexible. (and 30, if you’re wondering) ๐Ÿ™‚

Desperate Dietwives Reply:

Whereas if you are between 35 and 48 I would like to meet you!!! ๐Ÿ˜€

07.23.12#3

Comment by Meredith L..

This post reminds me of one of my favorite rants from “Coupling”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp0-8Ibkczc

janine Reply:

This is immediately what I thought of too. Classic ๐Ÿ™‚

07.23.12#4

Comment by Avitable.

Thanks, Kristine! I never thought about using pillows to get me tail!

-AA

07.23.12#5

Comment by Nichole.

Love the hipster ones. I may buy those for Hubby for Christmas.

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