08 Nov
I Hate Cleaning

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I’m a mom and stay at home with my almost 3 year old daughter. My problem is that while I LOVE spending time with my baby, I absolutely hate all household chores that SAHMS are often expected to perform. I’m not interested in dusting, cleaning, laundry, straightening up or especially vacuuming. We have  someone who comes twice a week, but my mother thinks that I’m not doing my job as a stay at home mom if I hire someone to do the cleaning. My husband doesn’t care either way. Am I wrong to hire someone?

Signed,

Please Don’t Make Me Vacuum
________________________________________________________________

Dear Please Come Over and Vacuum My Place,

I’m not sure how taking care of your baby and cleaning the house ever got meshed together, but my hat is off to you for ending that nonsense. (Confession: I wasn’t wearing a hat.)

Personally, I don’t like to clean and I’m not good at it. When I do clean out of necessity, I don’t find it relaxing, satisfying or rewarding. Know what I find relaxing, satisfying and rewarding? A massage. A good massage. And maybe a foot rub. A mani/pedi. But not cleaning.

If you couldn’t afford to hire someone to clean, we’d have a very different situation on our hands (and one that I would gladly pass off to my sister wife Wendi, the Mouthy in Charge of Cleanliness is Next to Godliness), but since your question is merely whether it’s ok for you to hire someone to do a job that you are not interested in, my resounding answer is OMG, YES. Especially if you have someone working for you who you trust and who’s doing a good job, and you and your husband are happy with it.

The fact that your mother seems to think that this should be your responsibility has nothing to do with your life. It’s possible that in her day and age women were expected to do certain things while they remained at home, but in our defense, that was before the invention of the DVR and the internet.

So, enjoy your time with your daughter! And leave the cleaning to the professionals.

Yours in Jealousy,

Marinka, TMH

5 Responses to “I Hate Cleaning”

11.08.12#1

Comment by Momof4Luds.

EXCELLENT answer, Marinka. When I left a paying job over 20 years ago to become a SAHM, I told my husband that I was quitting to be a MOM, and NOT to be a housekeeper, and he should expect that the division of household labor wouldn’t change from what it was when we were both working. He was totally on board with that. We are also lucky enough to be able to have someone in to do a (much better) professional job of it on a regular basis.

11.08.12#2

Comment by hokgardner.

One SAHM friend said to me once, “I stayed home to be with my kids, not mop floors.” I took it to heart, as the condition of unfolded laundry in my dining room will attest. I have someone who comes every other week, and if I could up it to once a week, I would in a heartbeat. And I’d hand her all my laundry, too.

11.08.12#3

Comment by E.J..

We can hardly afford cleaning supplies, let alone a housekeeper, but damn, I’d be a happy woman if it were not the case. Ok, I am a happy woman and do love bring a SAHM, but since my husband is retired and doesn’t do much child-care, he make allthe meals and does the dishes. I take care of our son and do the laundry, an everything else is split up (but he does more than I do in the housekeeping department. And that blesses my heart).

P.S. totally not your mama’s business.

11.08.12#4

Comment by danielle.

Housework is how I discovered the art of being appreciated. Don’t clean that bathroom for awhile and then when you do your husband will think he’s hit the lottery. At least that’s how mine feels. 😛 Keep the cleaner and tell your mom to shove it.

04.15.13#5

Comment by There's Not Enough Wine In The World For This Burned Out Mom | The Mouthy Housewives.

[…] like every mom is. I’m talking about the kind of tired that leads me to sleep all the time, not want to clean, or even go too far out of my way to create a magical day for my kids. Don’t get me wrong: I […]

Consider Checking Out...