23 Dec
I Want to be Faceless on Facebook

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I’ve come to you with a Facebook dilemma. My family loves taking and posting pictures on Facebook. Great, except I don’t think so. I recently got together with my family to do the Christmas baking: an all-day marathon of cookies and candy. I dressed suitably for the event in a t-shirt and ratty sweats with my hair in braids and absolutely NO makeup. When I saw the first camera come out I threatened death if any pictures of me ended up on Facebook. Well, there they are AND they won’t take them down. What can I do about my face getting plastered on the Internet? I’m thinking I just won’t attend any more events.

Sincerely,

Faceless on Facebook

________________________________________________________________________

Dear Faceless,

Your first option is to follow through with your threats of death. Of course they are posting those pictures on Facebook. They aren’t taking you seriously! I promise it won’t take but one death to change that. Keep in mind, though, if you go with option one, having your picture on Facebook will be child’s play when compared to having it on America’s Most Wanted.

Your second option is just like you said: you don’t attend any more events. Obviously this must be a lifelong commitment since social media technology isn’t going away. So no more weddings, baby showers, birthday parties, girls’ nights out, holiday parties, cocktail parties, school parties, and after work get-togethers for you, all of which can and do end up on Facebook. You know the t-shirt and ratty sweatpants you wore to the bake-a-thon? Consider that your new wardrobe, because why bother with anything else? Go ahead and dig yourself an underground hobbit hole to live in too, that way perhaps GPS satellites won’t be able to pinpoint your exact house on Google.

Or we can do something less drastic, like accept we live in the 21st century. It can suck at times, I know, and this whole social media thing is a real Catch-22. It’s great to stay connected, but on the other hand, when and where can we be human? When can I go out of the house with no makeup and greasy hair and old boyfriends not find out about it? I also freak out a little when my son gets on my iPhone, finds our home on Google, and there it is, not just an address, but a picture of it too!

What lessons can we learn from living in the limelight of the 21st century social media? There’s a reason it’s called 15-minutes of fame: you should spend at least 15 minutes making yourself presentable to the public. Just ask Brittany Spears about the time she spent only 13 minutes and skipped the underwear to save a little time.

You know your family enjoys taking pictures and posting them on Facebook, so I suggest spending 15 minutes putting on makeup and throwing on jeans and a fitted t-shirt the next time you get together with them.

Signed,

Heather, TMH

21 Responses to “I Want to be Faceless on Facebook”

12.23.10#1

Comment by vodka tonic.

You can untag yourself.

12.23.10#2

Comment by Louise.

If you’re really that worried about it, just (kindly) let them know that it’s actually illegal for them to post pictures of you on the internet without your permission.

And then if they still don’t take them down you can contact Facebook who will.

12.23.10#3

Comment by Vicki.

There are plenty of unflattering pictures of me on Facebook. But if I’m not tagged in them so that they link back to my profile, they don’t exist. *shrug*

12.23.10#4

Comment by Albug.

I’m old, I know nothing about Face Book and have no plans to find out. However, because I am old, I agree TAKE SOME TIME PEOPLE AND MAKE YOURSELF PRESENTABLE!!!! I am so tired of people going out in pajama pants and a ratty sweatshirt to HAVE DINNER!! When did this trend begin? I was a busy Mom once who worked a full time job and I managed to get out of my pajamas before I left the house. Maybe the new social media will get all these slackers in gear, they will watch an episode or two of What Not To Wear and dress accordingly. Okay, that said I bet the writer is the youngest. I feel her pain, but really she should step outside the house everyday as if her picture where going to be taken. if she does, she will help to make the world a better place for all of us.
Is this a little harsh? Sorry, I’m old ( my excuse for everything).

12.23.10#5

Comment by calliope.

No offense Albug, but the last person I talked to who felt it was appropriate to put makeup on and dress up to bake Christmas cookies was my 86 year old grandmother.
I don’t see why a t-shirt and jeans is so bad if you’re participating in a leisure activity that’s suppose to be comfortable and fun.

As for the pictures on Facebook, if it really severely irks you that badly and your family refuses to take them down (which I find rude), you can ask Facebook admin to remove them since you never gave consent.

Heather, TMH Reply:

Calliope, I checked my Southern Etiquette for the Fabulous Female book and it says makeup is totally appropriate for family bake-a-thons. In fact, it says it’s *gasp!* mandatory.

Albug Reply:

Hey, Calliope, I told you I was old! Actually Faceless said she was wearing a t-shirt and ratty sweats, jeans are certainly appropriate.
Ratty sweat pants are for sleeping and maybe walking the dog at midnight. I don’t care much about makeup myself, that wasn’t my point. My point was wearing pajama clothes outside of your home is tacky, in my old lady opinion.

Faceless Reply:

I was 8 months pregnant at the time. We baked 6 different cookies and 6 different candies all in the span of a day. It was relentless. I was at my mothers house with my siblings who I can assure you, having grown up with me, have seen me in sweats before. I have maternity clothes but not many and most of them are work appropriate. I would not wear them baking. I didn’t leave my mothers house. Not seeing the big deal in sweats and a tshirt for baking.

12.23.10#6

Comment by Marinka, TMH.

Or pose in one of those “I’m with STUPID” t-shirts. That has an arrow pointing to the offender. You may need to get a few of those t-shirts, with arrows going any which way.

12.23.10#7

Comment by Lessons in Life and Light.

I have difficulties with this too. I don’t think I’m very photogenic and HATE when people post unflattering pics of me on FB. I’ve gotten good at ducking out of pictures, putting my head down or hand up, or saying, “OH! Let me take it!” And, I’ve been known to send the, “I’d really appreiciate it if you’d respect my feelings and take that picture down” email. I also untag myself and actually have my tagged pictures blocked from EVERYONE, but that still doesn’t mean there aren’t a few out there. Good luck with this!

12.23.10#8

Comment by Plano Mom.

If you didn’t want pictures of you on Facebook don’t allow the pictures to be taken. Leave the room. Refuse to take the picture. Put a sack over your head. But the moment you allowed your image to be recorded, you lost true control over where that picture ended up. It’s a sad commentary on the world that someone’s wishes can’t be honored. However by staying in the picture you were also inconsiderate. You allow your picture to be taken, and yet you don’t allow your family to use them or share them? Not very fair to the picture taker, in my mind.

So the real solution is either dress up so your relatives can share their pictures with others, or get out of the pictures altogether.

Faceless Reply:

I was at the oven stirring the fudge which we all know must be watched or it will be an utter disaster. My oh so nice sister ran over with her camera, flashed it in my face, and then ran off laughing. This is the picture that ended up on facebook.

12.23.10#9

Comment by Michelle.

I know of several not so flattering FB pics of me out there. *SIGH* Whenever I see one, I get slightly irked, but here’s the deal…. At some point in almost every day we all look like that. If you think that even celebs wake up looking beautiful, your wrong. If you think that they don’t watch their staff bake holiday cookies in their ratty Juicy sweats, your crazy.

So, just ignore what’s out there now and in the future take that 15 minutes to make yourself presentable. Since the bar is apparently set low now, you can add just a little mascara and some lip gloss and girl you will be the hit of the party!

12.23.10#10

Comment by GrandeMocha.

The only option is to follow through with threat of death. Just once & you’ll not only never have your picture taken at family events, you’ll never have to go family events. Win win.

12.23.10#11

Comment by dusty earth mother.

Take a deep breath, think of those “Stars Without Make-Up!!” covers on The Enquirer and live your life proudly.

12.23.10#12

Comment by Lisa.

Wow, really? You want to be the PITA diva who won’t let a bad photo be taken of her? What, exactly, is the harm here?

If you care so little about your appearance as to go out in ratty sweats – um, ick, by the way, how bout clean jeans and a t-shirt? – then why do you care about pics of you like that on FB? Either care about your appearance or don’t. Stop trying to control other people, just control your own actions.

anonymous Reply:

Ditto to what Lisa said.

12.23.10#13

Comment by Kelcey, TMH.

I’d rather be late for preschool than skip putting on a little bronzer and lip gloss for this reason.

My kids might be a little behind academically but at least I’ll look good.

12.25.10#14

Comment by carma.

Very sad that you would opt out of a family event because of this. I think you should take a little more pride in your appearance when you leave the house. You can dress casually in nice jeans and a t-shirt and also take a bit more time to fix your hair & put on a bit of make-up. Be grateful you this fun family event to engage in.

Did you ever stop to think of people who are sad and lonely with no family to spend time with during the holidays?

12.25.10#15

Comment by Braja.

I was thinking of this the other day when I was out shopping in the middle of Calcutta, mouthing off to myself as I walked along at the outrage of beggars PULLING at my clothes (can’t they just BEG anymore???) and thinking, “If I were in NYC or LA, there’d be a camera catching my every curse, and it would be posted all over FB.” One has to be careful. And fix their makeup.

Frankly I think this lady’s dilemma is just a forced entrance into the world of being presentable, beautiful, and made-up before you leave the house. Deal with it.

01.11.12#16

Comment by No Photos of the Baby Please | The Mouthy Housewives.

[…] probably have to prevent yourself from posting a daily photo of your little babe to all your Facebook friends which of course includes that weird girl in your high school geometry class. Although I’m […]

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