03 Mar
All You Volunteer Soccer Moms Are Getting on My Nerves

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I am so over moms that haven’t been out to dinner in 5 years and their entire social lives revolve around PTA meetings and their kids’ activities. How hard is it to book a sitter and have a nice dinner with your husband? I don’t get these moms and I’m sick of the whining.

Am I being too harsh?

Signed,

Judgmental Judy

_____________________________________________________________________________

Dear Judy,

I absolutely do not think you’re being too harsh. In fact, I think you aren’t being harsh enough. Who do these women think they are, doing volunteer work and making friends at the same time? Don’t they know you’re supposed to hate your “co-workers” and spend your time plotting passive-aggressive acts of revenge? It’s like they don’t even know how to be contributing members of society anymore.

I also agree that instead of trying to make schools a better place, they should do something more beneficial to the world, like plan dinner dates with their husband. Look at that Mother Teresa! She couldn’t even be bothered with men because of all of her volunteer work. What kind of example does that set for young girls?

Now that the gloves are completely off, let’s go ahead and talk about those homeschooling moms too. They are a heinous mutation between an overachieving PTA president and a Bible-toting hobo. Lord, someone needs to save them from themselves, and that someone should be a proctologist, because they are SO far up their kid’s ass it’s unbelievable. Why don’t they send their kids to a real school and get a life of their own?

Clearly these moms are lost souls, but thankfully there are women like you and me to tell them how to live a better life by giving back less and eating out more.

Signed,

Heather, TMH

19 Responses to “All You Volunteer Soccer Moms Are Getting on My Nerves”

03.03.11#1

Comment by MominTx.

Heather! I think I just peed myself I laughed so hard.
Oh Judy don’t you know us moms need to stick together? No need to be so judgemental, we’re all just trying to do the best for our kids. Why don’t you offer to watch one of these PTA mom’s kids and give them the chance to go out with their husband. There’s a thought!

03.03.11#2

Comment by calliope.

Heather…
I love you.

03.03.11#3

Comment by knowitallnanna.

My sentiments exactly… over achievers.

03.03.11#4

Comment by Alexandra.

You know, as I read this response, and was laughing and tittering out loud, I thought, “this sounds like Heather.”

I love it. I knew it was you. “Let them bust their butts…less for me to do.”

I’m so happy I still get to read you here, because I miss your blog very, very much.

I do.

03.03.11#5

Comment by annie.

A-freakin-men Heather! If you could change “eating-out more” to just “eating more” I’m completely on board!

03.03.11#6

Comment by Dawn.

OMG- you two are hilarious- geez Heather tell us how you really feel!! Still laughing..as for the eating out more- in many cases that is the hubby issue- not the wife- I know mine just HATES the idea of a sitter- he works so hard he only gets a limited time with the kids so when we go out- it is FAMILY— very very rare we go out to dinner sans kiddos!! But alas- one day, with luck- (and all the money we save by not hiring sitters) they will be able to go to college and we will have 7 nites a week free to go out together- EEK!!! I need to find a hobby by then!!

03.03.11#7

Comment by skchord.

THis was so funny I almost peed myself. Okay, who are we kidding…I did a little. Anyways, all joking aside, I agree that all us moms need to stick together. Instead of judging her, why not offer to help her out by volunteering to babysit for a date night? It’s somctimes hard to find alone time much less a babysitter you trust and can rely on. My husband and I have our VERY FIRST date night planned for tomorrow, and our daughter is 13 mos, and son is 14 years. Now, take your friend a nice bottle of wine and get over it already. Go Heather!!!!

03.03.11#8

Comment by Wendi.

“Bible-toting hobo.” Oh, Heather.

Heather, TMH Reply:

You know we all praise Jesus and wear dirty clothes at the same time.

03.03.11#9

Comment by @suburbanhaiku.

Judy sounds cranky.
I think she needs more me-time.
Maybe a pedi?

And that reminds me
of those PTA moms’ roots.
Let’s book a touch up.

03.03.11#10

Comment by K.

I don’t care if other people want to spend their lives volunteering. It when they start wanting me to spend 40 hours a week on unpaid work that I have issues. I loved the response.

03.03.11#11

Comment by mbjensen.

I see both sides. There is a fine balance between dedication to your children & finding a little time for your husband. I have friends who were PTA-leading, dedicated soccer moms now living their lives as single cougars because they gave 100% to their children’s lives & had nothing left over. Our children deserve our love & support but so do the men we married.

03.03.11#12

Comment by Rojopaul.

When the children are gone, the hubby will still be there. Hopefully. If not, it’s because 150% was put into the kids and nothing was left for the relationship. Bottom line: You have to have balance. I love family time and volunteering but I believe it is essential to make time for your spouse too. After all, how we love and communicate with our spouses, will teach our children how to love and communicate effectively.

03.03.11#13

Comment by Liz @ Peace, Love & Guacamole.

Whiners gonna whine and haters gonna hate.

03.03.11#14

Comment by thepsychobabble.

Since you’re so concerned about me going out to eat with the husband, may I assume that you’re willing to pony up for the cost of eating out and the babysitter?
Super!
Just send that $$ to my paypal account, please and thank you.

Kisses
Jen

03.03.11#15

Comment by Kim - Mommycosm.

LMAO! Heather, oh, my. I miss hearing your voice online. It’s just not the same without a little Shake, Shake.

03.03.11#16

Comment by Mom on the Verge.

Well, as long as the soccer moms are happy doing all that volunteer work, GREAT. When they start whining/bragging about their over-work as volunteers and start acting like martyrs, THAT’s when I start getting grumpy. And I’m a homeschool mom.

03.06.11#17

Comment by Mandy.

Haha. Very funny. Although to be fair, if moms are going to whine about not going out without making an effort to do so, it’s like people whining about government without voting. No whining, no judgement. 🙂

03.08.11#18

Comment by Clay Boggess.

There are many husbands out there who would probably say ‘amen’ to your advice.

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