01 Oct
Hey, Yoga People: STFU!

BIG NEWS!  Today we welcome our new Mouthy Housewife, Karen Gerwin! (@karengerwin) Whoohoo! Karen is a former literary agent, mother of two and resident of Brooklyn, NY! We are thrilled to have her join us and promise to tell you more about her once she settles in. (She’s a little tired from our huge audition process—let’s just say her feet are totally covered in blisters and we still can’t find the live chickens.) So please give Karen a warm welcome and settle in to read her very first piece of Mouthy advice!

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I just signed up for a year-long membership to a really nice Spin/Pilates studio and so far I love it. However, lately there have been two women who go to the same classes I do and they’re ruining it for me. They giggle and talk to each other during the entire spin/pilates/yoga workout and I find it to be really rude and distracting. (There are only 10-15 women in the class, so it’s very loud.) I would normally say something to the teacher/owner, but she’s friends with them and I don’t want it to turn into a big drama. I’ve tried to figure out the classes they don’t go to, but that’s way too difficult and I don’t want to adjust my life because of them.

Signed,

Shhhhh!

________________________

Dear Shhhhh!,

Oh, Shhhhh, I feel your pain. At my yoga studio, I am the smelly guy magnet. If I get there early, it never fails that Mr. Stink will unfurl his mat right next to mine. True story: I was once the first to a yoga class, and put my mat down right at the front corner of the room next to the wall. The next person to walk through that door was the token smelly guy and he put his mat right next to mine. And not only that, he lined up the edges instead of staggering, so every time we extended our arms to the side and over our heads, it would be this awkward mental dance of who would move their hands slightly forward or back. I mean, what an asshole. Don’t even get me started on the people who don’t take turns at the entry to the Holland Tunnel. They even had to change the sign from “Alternate Merge’ to “Take Turns Merging’ because people are that stupid and inconsiderate.

Where was I? Oh, right, I was helping you! So, I think you’ve got a few options here:

1. This is what I call the Monica Seles approach. Beat them at their own game by loudly grunting while you’re doing the hundreds, or barking while you are in downward facing dog, or saying “Ahhhhhh” when you hit the downhill portion of spin (I’ve never taken a spin class, so I’m assuming that happens).

2. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em! Instead of trying to stay as far away from them as you can, be like the smelly guy, and sit right near them. Every time they start talking, turn to them with a big smile on your face and say, “i know, right?” It’s sort of passive-aggressive, but you’ll come away from with it your own catchphrase.

3. Suck it up and talk to the owner. Is she really friends with them, or just friendly? Does she join in the chatter? Either way, I think you could start off by telling her how much you love the studio, love her classes, blah, blah, blah, but you’ve been to a few classes where people are talking, and it’s really distracting. As the owner, she should care about every individual’s experience at her studio. The customer is always right, or in this case, customo’s before ho’s.

4. If you know which classes they go to regularly, do your best to avoid them and go to different ones. I know. This option sucks.

It could be worse. You could live here in Brooklyn, where I’ve heard reports of women bringing their 10 year olds to spinning classes.

Namaste!

Karen, TMH

9 Responses to “Hey, Yoga People: STFU!”

10.01.12#1

Comment by Aceta.

Having never been to a gym (“I know, right?”), I imagine it’s called a class because there’s an instructor, and the letter writer is distracted and can’t hear the teacher. …in which case, he or she really should talk to the manager or the instructor. I’ve alway been one to take matters into my own hands, as I always got pissed off in school when talkers were distracting. As in “I’m here to learn, and if you’re not then please go away.” I made very few friends. Good luck!

10.01.12#2

Comment by nikkiana.

If it’s bothering you and distracting you from your workout, you should say something to the teacher conducting the class. You paid hard earned money for this, you shouldn’t have to put up with someone else’s bullshit.

10.01.12#3

Comment by Ann.

Bring your Burley and hitch up your kid behind them?

Welcome to the hilarious/sage Karen!

10.01.12#4

Comment by Erin@MommyontheSpot.

“Customos before hos” – my computer screen was almost assaulted with hot coffee as I tried not to spit out from laughing so hard.

I have no real valid advice except that if it’s bothering you, it’s probably bothering others. Look around and desperately try to make eye contact with someone who may be annoyed as well.

10.02.12#5

Comment by Desperate Dietwives.

First of all, WELCOME KAREN!!! 😀

In Shhhh’s shouse I would go by advice nr 3: if the owner is really friends with them, she would have an easier job to tell them to just stop talking and giggling during classes. After all it’s in her interest not to lose a valued customer!

In alternative… is there any way of getting your subscription money back? I think that just asking would put the owner on the alert and tell off her noisy friends.

10.02.12#6

Comment by Danielle.

I don’t get it. Guess I’m just annoying. I was a known giggler during yoga. It’s hard not to giggle when you’re falling on your face. Sorry!

Seriously though, it’s a workout and it should be fun. I see no reason they can’t talk to each other.

Becky Reply:

I get that with zumba, kick boxing, etc, but yoga and pilates are supposed to be about focus, breathing, etc… I absolutely see why she wants to focus on her workout.

Danielle Reply:

Then why not get a video and stay home. Why do these women have to have their workout diminished because this woman doesn’t like talking. Either way someone is being rude to someone.

Becky Reply:

Why should she get a video and stay home? Why not expect common courtesy from her fellow workout people during yoga? Seriously, is it THAT hard to shut up and let others focus? We can talk every second of every other day. They can’t shut their traps for 30 min?

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