Welcome back to Guest Post Thursday! Today we have the lovely Lexa from Lemmonex. She’s often better dressed than I am, has more insight and composure in her pinky than I do in my whole body, and pulls off leopard print LIKE A CHAMP. Naturally, she is my nemesis. Good thing I like to keep my enemies close, though because SHE HAS GREAT SHOES! — Kristine
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I just moved in with my boyfriend of almost a year. We are arguing more than normal and things always seem tense. There is a definite lack of affection. I want things to work with us because I can see a future, but I have no idea how to get through this transition. Any suggestions on how to fix this problem?
Dear Bickering Betsy,
I am the perfect person to answer this question seeing as I once lived with a boyfriend. Sure, we broke up, but that doesn’t mean I do not have some well-earned wisdom to impart on you. Please, learn from my failure.
So, living together is great. No more worrying about when you are going to see your boyfriend again or trying to figure out where to sleep or feeling disgust over his filthy bathroom. There is a real comfort in knowing that you get to come home to your partner every night.
But it can also make you really lazy.
I find that when folks move in together they start taking each other for granted. I could be totally off base here, but it is a pattern I have seen play out a million times with friends. Be honest with yourself; are you slipping into some bad patterns? Like the dishes. If you’re not washing them, who is? The fairies don’t come do them while you are at work. So, did you thank your boyfriend for dealing with them? Or for dealing with the management company or the overflowing pile of laundry? Are you grateful for him for tackling the domestic chores and general life annoyances he is handling? It is easy to fall in to these patterns without even realizing it. And nothing makes me snippier and less inclined to affection than feeling like I am not appreciated..
Which brings me to my other point. Are you tending to the relationship now that you are living with him? It is super easy to fall into a pattern of coming home and vegging out in front of the couch once you live with your partner. DO NOT DO THIS. At least not every day. Take off your dang yoga pants. Plan a date. Have an actual conversation. Keep nurturing your relationship.
I think the real thing to be aware of is this is a change and all relationships need to be cared for during change. Put down the Doritos, get off the internet, and tell your boyfriend why you love him. Hell, SHOW him you love him. Just make sure it’s out at a restaurant and not in front of a TV dinner.
Lexa, Guest TMH
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