16 May
This is a Computer. It Has Internet

The Mouthy Housewives are celebrating turning three years old and you’re getting us the present of advice all week! You already helped Wendi and Kristine so I want to get in on the advice while it’s flowing freely!

Dear Mouthy Housewives Readers,

Here is my dilemma.

My mother is in her 60s and she has a friend who’s in his kazillions.  But that’s not the dilemma.

The problem is that this friend is very active on Facebook and my mother does not use the computer at all.  Let me repeat that again, slowly, so that you can digest it: My mother does not use the computer. At all. Like she has never been online. She doesn’t know what Facebook is.  How is this my (and by extension your) problem?

Well, my mother and her friend have solved their technological incompatibility by asking me to print his inane ramblings off Facebook and hand deliver them to my mother.

Yes, you read that correctly.  I have been asked to print crap from Facebook and bring it to my mother so that she can read it and catch up with her friend.  And I was so stunned by the inanity of it all that I agreed to do it.

I’ll wait until you stop laughing.

Fine, I’ll go get a snack while you calm down.

That was some delicious soufflé.

The problem is that I seem to have lost the will to live.  Whenever I see that my mother’s friend posted something, my heart sinks, a bit lower each time. The way things are going, I’m worried that my heart will get lodged in my thigh soon.

So what do I do?

Tell my mother to find a new sucker or learn the internets or suck it up and print an occasional update for the woman who gave me life and doesn’t ask all that much from me?

Signed,

Marinka, Do Not Like

18 Responses to “This is a Computer. It Has Internet”

05.16.12#1

Comment by Brett Minor.

Now that you have caught her up, there is not need to continue to do so. If this person really wants your mother to know what is going on, then she should take it upon herself to send a letter or make a phone call.

It is not your problem.

05.16.12#2

Comment by smilinjo.

She is only in her 60’s???? My mother-in-law is in her 80’s and can handle FB. You need to get all Scarlett O’Hara on her and dramatically hold up the last thing you printed off and say to her, “As God is my witness, I am never going to print for you again!”. Too dramatic? Then just tell her no.

05.16.12#3

Comment by Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes.

Be glad that your mother doesn’t use a computer. Mine does, she is also in her sixties and takes evening course in computerspeak. Very annoying.

05.16.12#4

Comment by Today’s The Day!.

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05.16.12#5

Comment by Anne-Marie @ Do Not Faint.

My 70-something grandmother-in-law has learned to use Facebook, but she also prints out emails she thinks we would like (usually stuff about God–we are rather Godless in her eyes, I believe) and mails them to us. Yep. She prints stuff out from the Internets and mails it us in an envelope with stamps.

I suggest you talk to the friend (on Facebook if in person is too much for your poor, exhausted soul) and tell the friend to print and snail mail anything he thinks your mama needs to know.

He doesn’t have a printer, you say? Well, I have a feeling that when I am in my kazillions, the public library will be stuck with me for lots of the day. They have printers and people who have to help you use them at the library.

And who doesn’t love to get mail?

red pen mama Reply:

I second this. The friend can mail your mother the print outs directly.

Or, teach your mom how to use Facebook. It that’s all she does on the computer, that’s fine. Make it her home page, etc. etc. It might take a week or a month, but afterwards, you’ll be free!

Until she discovers teh Twitters.

05.16.12#6

Comment by Cait.

Marinka you have kids. Send them over to a nice visit with grandma and tell them that they can’t come back home until she knows how to navigate both Facebook and email. If that’s not a good threat, try withholding food, their cell phones, tv, etc. You could also offer something nice for their troubles (but withholding food might give faster results…)

Nona Reply:

I agree with Cait. It’s a whole circle of life thing. You want to help the woman who birthed you by exploiting those you birthed. Win-win.

05.16.12#7

Comment by Bean.

“I’ll wait until you stop laughing.
Fine, I’ll go get a snack while you calm down.
That was some delicious soufflé”

Very, very funny.

05.16.12#8

Comment by tracy@sellabitmum.

I think you should unfollow this friend immediately and tell your mother that Facebook no longer exists(after you buy FB stock on it’s IPO of course and become a millionaire and move to Belize).

Wendi Reply:

Genius! Tell her FB went the way of CB radios!

05.16.12#9

Comment by Plano Mom.

I once typed up a series of twenty lessons for my not-so-elderly friend to learn how to use Prodigy (yeah, it was a while ago, I learned). I would come to her house each week and spend two hours teaching her how to log on, then another on how to type in a web address. I gave up after three lessons, even though I was being paid handsomely. There is not enough medication in the world to help develop that kind of patience. Tell Grammy that you love her, but she needs a smart phone.

05.16.12#10

Comment by Danielle.

Oh suck it up Marinka. It’s such a small thing. Unless this guy is like some of my psycho friends and posts 16 YES I SAID 16 different statuses a day. Facebook addiction is real yo!

05.16.12#11

Comment by All Fooked Up.

well, the only alternative is to kill your mom or her friend. Beyond that, I would pay my kids to handle this job.

Just saying …

05.16.12#12

Comment by KatesOwnRants.

I love the idea of telling Mom the Facebook no longer exists! LOL
Setting her up with her own FB page sounds like a good idea… until she turns the PC off and can’t figure out how to turn it back on, let alone how to log onto FB again.
Tell mom’s friend to call her with news. Better yet, tell mom to call her own friend when she wants to know what her friend is up to.
Good luck!

05.16.12#13

Comment by Mom on the Verge.

I agree that this falls into the realm of the grandchildren. Tell them them to think of her as a four year old and don’t come home until she can do Facebooks.

05.16.12#14

Comment by Tonya.

Yea, can’t this be a chore for Ladrinka?

Or better yet can you start to download some excerpts from 50 Shades of Grey and tell your mom that her friend has started going sex crazy and her posts are now X-rated?

Connie Reply:

Oh, I love this one!! But this will give 1 of 2 results. Either your Mom will swear off her friend entirely or she’ll be BEGGING for more updates, ha! That trilogy rocks!

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