01 Mar
Should I Attend My High School Reunion Or Was High School Itself Enough Suffering?

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

My 20th high school reunion is this summer. I’m not entirely sure how this happened because I swear I’m no older than 32, at least according to Oil of Olay’s promise to remove years from my face. I always assumed I’d go to my reunion, but the more I follow the dedicated reunion Facebook page the less I want to go. It’s the same popular “in” crowd chatting with each other (eye roll).  Do people regret not attending their high school reunions? And why hasn’t Facebook made these damn things obsolete already?

Signed,

I Didn’t Like These People in High School So Why Should I Hang Out With Them 20 Years Later?

__________________________________

Dear I Didn’t Like These People in High School,

In order to attend a reunion, you must be in a relatively positive place. You should feel pretty good about the way you look and the direction of your life.

For example, if you are 38 and still living at home, sleeping in your old bunk bed with The Incredible Hulk sheets, you might consider not going. Or if the only person you communicate with regularly is your parole officer, ditto. Or if you went way overboard on the Botox and now look like a disturbing wax version of yourself (think Sandra Bullock at the Oscars), this might not be the time to step out into the reunion spotlight.

But if you are in a good groove, why not go? Forget about the “in” crowd. Do you have a group of friends from high school that you like or liked? Reconnect with them and you can all hang out together. It can be a lot of fun to see old pals and remember just how devastated you all were to find out Milli Vanilli was a fraud. (I still mourn the loss of that band.)

And at some point during the reunion, I absolutely promise that you are going to run into some pudgy guy who is sporting a shiny bald head and an orange glow from too much self tanner and you’re going to suddenly realize, “Holy crap. That’s Billie Thaler. The god damn captain of the football team and hottest guy at school who I worshiped for FOUR long years and the only thing he ever said to me was, ‘A tampon just fell out of your purse.’ Wow, he looks awful.”

The joy of his fall from grace will certainly be reason enough to go.  Doesn’t that sound more satisfying than just looking up old classmates on Facebook?

My final advice is to have a few cocktails. Reunions are not for the sober. Unless not drinking is a requirement for your parole and then see earlier advice about maybe sitting this reunion out.

Good luck,

Kelcey, TMH

13 Responses to “Should I Attend My High School Reunion Or Was High School Itself Enough Suffering?”

03.01.12#1

Comment by Brett Minor.

I missed my 15th reunion and didn’t care at all until the Facebook pictures started going up the next day. Then, I really regretted making the decision to not go. I will NOT miss the next one.

03.01.12#2

Comment by Abby.

I knew you’d tackle this one, my fellow reunion junkie! Our next one is in 2013 and we are so there!

03.01.12#3

Comment by Avprobeauty.

I didn’t go to my 5 year reunion, the wounds were still fresh. Just kidding, I will probably go to the ten year one…

03.01.12#4

Comment by Vinobaby.

Perfect. I just realized my 20th is coming up this year. Didn’t go to any other reunions. Didn’t like most of those people then. . .

03.01.12#5

Comment by Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes.

The only reason I went to a high school reunion was to tell my old math teacher – who was always putting me down and making fun of me ‘because there is no such thing as dyscalculia, you are just a stupid idiot’ – how well I did at a job that payed far more then his miserly salery and had better career options. Totally worth it!
Oh and seeing that Valérie, the snooty blonde and former beauty queen had gotten fat was just the cherry on the cake.
Yes, vindictive and maybe mentally not very healthy, but if you where bullied like I was in high school, very rewarding.

03.01.12#6

Comment by sisterfunkhaus.

I hated HS, and looking at our 20th reunion pics, it is the same exact popular crowd going to relive HS. I have no regrets missing it. I kind of felt sad for those people who are still wrapped up in who they used to be and who are living in the past so to speak. Many of them still live in the same small town. Generally HS reunions are full of people whose lives peaked during high school and they go back to relive their glory days with each other. Although, I do know of a few nice decent people who went just to see a couple of old friends. From what I have heard and can tell from photos, those people are the minority.

My life has turned out wonderfully. For some reason, I just don’t care if people from high school know how awesome things are for me. The ones who were important do know.

Anywho, enough about me. If you have a really good reason to go (someone you want to see) I say go. Otherwise, you are going to be stuck in a sea of people trying to relive their amazing high school days. If you didn’t exist to them back then, you still won’t. I personally think it’s a waste of time and energy.

03.01.12#7

Comment by Melanie.

I was one of the most unpopular kids in my class. I was tormented something fierce. Back then I was the chubby awkward kid who never fit in anywhere. And boy did they make sure I knew it.

When I hit college, I lost all of the weight, my boobs grew, and guys finally noticed me. I learned how to flirt, and became a pro. I grew into a confident woman who no longer cared what others thought. Thank God.

So when I saw my 20 year reunion pop up, I was one of the first to sign up. I wore a Victoria’s Secret mini dress, four inch heels, and had my hair done by a pro.

I only wish I had brought a camera because the looks on people’s faces were priceless. Talk about a satisfying moment. I’m so glad I went.

03.01.12#8

Comment by Wendi.

Someone who may or may not look exactly like me spent her 10 year reunion drunkenly dancing to requested Wham! songs. So that was sort of the end of all reunions for that person who may or may not look exactly like me.

03.01.12#9

Comment by RealityTC.

I wasn’t unpopular. In fact, you’ll find my face on page one of our senior class yearbook—thanks to the pervy photography teacher who ran the yearbook staff & tried to grope me in the darkroom. But I didn’t fit in—favoring the less savory band kids & by band I don’t mean marching band. Several years ago I moved back to the community I grew up in and oh my how things have not changed. Now all the popular girls have popular children & so the cycle continues. Luckily for the new crop of misfits, there are a lot more opportunities to find your tribe.

The short of it for me is that the people with whom I had real connections in high school, I kept in touch with. Before email. Before FB. You know—when you had to make an actual effort. I haven’t attended the reunions & a few of my friends who have said things are exactly the same. On the other hand, my mom, an immensely popular & social woman wouldn’t give up her reunion for anything & can’t imagine why I wouldn’t want to go.

As far as who got fat—you can already tell on FB. They are the ones with their children or pets as their FB photo. And your old boyfriend—now a fat, bald, divorced guy with high cholesterol, high alimony & a failing career will no doubt seek you out on FB as well. Meow!

As the wise housewives have advised, it’s all about where you’re at and how strong your gut is. Good luck!

03.01.12#10

Comment by Mary.

Being in a good place mentally is what it’s all about. I went to three reunions and the women mostly looked great and the men were unrecognizably old. But then boys are still boys (generally) in high school. Be open to those people you never really knew back then because once in awhile you’ll have a nice surprise. Like the time a woman I never even said hello to in high school came up to me and told me she’d seen one of my documentaries and how much it meant to her. We had a great conversation and I was quite moved. The truth of it is that you probably won’t become fast friends with anyone since you haven’t kept up with them but it’s kind of fun seeing where everyone is now and what they all look like. Oh, and I always made sure to go with someone I could dish with. I still have one good friend from back then. Good luck and have fun!

03.01.12#11

Comment by NjMellie.

I really did not enjoy high school, but was talked into going to my 10 year reunion by my best friend from high school. It was boring. Same old, same old. Coming up on our 30th, still have no desire to go. I’m friends with some people on FB, but honestly just don’t care. Don’t care what other people are doing with their lives, don’t care if they know about mine. And I’m happy with my life, I just have never regretted once not going to my reunions. All my siblings, who graduated from the same high school before me, always go to their reunions. Nope, still no regrets. So I say, if you don’t want to go, don’t. If you’re curious, then go. One night isn’t going to make or break you either way.

03.02.12#12

Comment by Ace.

My generation won’t be doing reunions with the same kind of fervor past generations did. With Facebook, we can keep in touch or rekindle with those we really want to, and anybody else isn’t anybody we’re looking to hunt down or run into anyway. I won’t go to my 10 year this year, and likely won’t go to my 20-year. Maybe 30th – who knows? My mom was bullied in high school just as badly as I was, and when she went to her 25th reunion, she had a BLAST. I think the more time has lapsed in between, the more enjoyable it could be. I would suggest to not be the soberest OR the drunkest. And if you really don’t want to go, don’t go.

03.04.12#13

Comment by Carpool Goddess.

Mine is coming up too. I didn’t go to the last one. Hopefully it will be fun. Cocktails will be a necessity.

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