It’s Guest Post Friday! And today we’re thrilled to welcome The Empress herself, Alexandra from Good Day, Regular People! Not only is Alexandra a damn fine writer, but she’s also an incredible and generous friend to just about everyone who knows how to spell the word “blog.” Seriously. Get this woman on your side and the world is yours. So, please take a look at her sound advice below, then go check out her always entertaining blog. Thanks, Empress! — Wendi
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My best friend just turned 21, and she has a 1-year-old daughter. The father skipped out of town (literally) when she became pregnant, but my friend has since moved on and is with a wonderful man who has two children of his own. The problem I have is that she posts Facebook statuses about what a deadbeat (among other thing) her daughter’s father is. How can I tell her this is tacky and makes her look bad?
Ixnay on the Deadbeat Adday
Dear Ixnay on the Deadbeat Adday:
Elltay ouryay estiebay atthay—crap. What are the rules on digraphs and Pig Latin again?
This may be the shortest advice given at The Mouthy Housewives. Nonverbal, too. See my hand? See me holding it out in front of me, with my palm extended open? Yeah? Good. That’s for you to drop your bestie’s phone number in there. Me and your girl haz got to talk.
She can’t be doing this. It’s so bad, that I am willing to call her and explain all the reasons around the world in 80 days why she can’t be doing this. Firstly, she does not want to be known as baby mama drama, i.e., X is talking to a new beautiful girl and this comes up, “Aww…she ain’t nothin’…she’s just baby mama drama.” (I’m assuming since he’s a deadbeat dad that he’ll be using the word “ain’t.”)
Secondly, ummmmm….didn’t both the X and baby mama know what happens when you spin the Vatican Roulette wheel?
Thirdly, does she not know (apparently not) that when she gets on Worldbook and tells everyone that her baby daddy is nothing but an Xbox stoned dude with a dungeon tan that she Twitter banged, she’s saying she did this BY CHOICE? Can she hear me? She wanted to do the nasty…with him?
Fourthly and Most Importantly, without baby daddy, she wouldn’t have her beautiful baby. Ponder on that, Missy who must vomit every thought that comes into her head. Practice emotional control and realize that this is your baby’s daddy. What this baby needs is to know that her parents love her—step or biological. Nothing else needs to be known. Realize this and take the higher road.
I’ll call your bestie tomorrow. When’s the best time to find her on Facebook?
Alexandra, Guest TMH