23 Nov
Mean Girls

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I need advice on responding to several emails from a “friend” wanting to get together. She is a former co-worker (we still work in the same building and run into each other occasionally). The past several years we have drifted apart, but then she will call and we will get together.

This summer she responded to my call by posting a Facebook wall invite to get together the next day. I was unavailable and felt like the invite was an afterthought. In the fall, I saw her again at work and she made an insensitive joke about my leg injury. I called to talk with her about this and she didn’t return my call.

Now two months later, she has sent two emails and wants to know if something is wrong. I don’t know how to respond. Suggestions?

Signed,

Ready to De-Friend

______________________________________

Dear Ready to De-Friend,

This reminds me of when I was in the 5th grade and the most popular girl in school Melissa made fun of my hair because it didn’t feather properly, despite a very expensive perm that made me look like my grandmother. Melissa just wove her fingers through her perfectly feathered brunette tresses and deemed me not cool enough to hang with her Farrah Fawcett crew.

The formaldehyde vapors from my perm couldn’t soften the blow.   I cried to my Shaun Cassidy poster every night, wondering how anyone could be so cruel. But you know what I learned as I grew up? Mean people suck. And if this girl is making fun of your leg injury and not returning your calls, then she isn’t worth a single moment of your time. Because life is too short to waste your energy on mediocre friendships.

So here are your options…

1. Press delete and write on her Facebook wall, “Hey. Sorry I’ve been so busy. Hope you are well!”

2. Press delete and forget about this girl.

3. Press delete and go get yourself a perm. (Warning: Although when you hear “perm,” you obviously think glamour, just keep in mind that sometimes this hair treatment can go a bit awry.)

Good luck,

Kelcey, TMH

4 Responses to “Mean Girls”

11.23.10#1

Comment by Desperate Dietwives.

There’s actually another option: you go to Facebook – Account – Privacy. At the bottom of the window there’s a stop sign and the writing “blocked elements”. You click there, enter your “friend”‘s name and block her. This means she can’t find you in FB and you can’t find her until you unblock her.

This way she can’t write on your FB account and if you meet her and she says something about not finding you on FB anymore, you just play innocent and say you don’t know, must be some problem with the FB platform.

I would also advise you to plead busy every time she tries to corner you for a get-together: in the end she’ll get the message and stop badgering you.

11.23.10#2

Comment by Plano Mom.

How about just telling her she hurt your feelings and you’re not ready to forgive her? You’ll get the apology you seem to be looking for.

Of course, if you’ve already given up on the friendship, then blow her off and unfriend her on FB. Only you can decide how much effort she is worth.

11.23.10#3

Comment by skchord.

I have the unfortunate habit of unwillingly seeking out friends like these every where I go and then letting myself get disappointed when they don’t keep in touch with me. I’ve just come to make the rule of 3…if she doesn’t return my interest or make an effort to keep in touch 3 times, I cut my losses, stop trying to remain friends, and move on. Some people get wrapped up in themselves so much they forget to make the effort to keep friends and her joke about your leg may have just been her way of attempting to cover her remorse at failing to do that with you, through attempted, albeit failed, laughter. You deserve more in a friend, and if you don’t want to get together just tell her and tell her why…folks sometimes don’t know they have a problem until someone tells them.

11.24.10#4

Comment by marathonmom.

There is also another option. You can throw your leftover turkey carcass in her yard. I mean, unless you are a vegetarian.

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