04 Nov
Lonely Girl Longs for Friends

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I lived in the big city my entire life, but now my family has just relocated to a small Southern town due to my husband’s job. I feel like I’m in a different world, and so far I don’t like it here at all. I don’t have any friends, and since we’re not churchgoers or scrapbookers, I’m not sure how I’m ever going to find any. What can I do to fit in?

Signed,

Miserable in Mayberry

_____________________________

Dear Miserable,

Let me tell you about a gal who once upon a time moved from New York City to Tiny Town, Montana. Boy, she was miserable. She cried every night. She couldn’t find Brad Pitt anywhere in Montana, not even during a long arse day of flyfishing. She realized in order to be happy, she would have to learn to love hiking, caving and hunting. So she promptly moved back to New York City.

So my advice is to leave your husband and move back to the big city!

Ok, not really.

First of all, it’s ok to acknowledge that it really sucks to move somewhere new. It’s hard to meet new friends, especially ones you actually like. But remember, you only have to meet one cool chick that is funny and real and then you’ll be so much happier in your new home.

If you have children, that will be an instant way to meet new people. Also, join anything and everything you can. They need a class mother, you’re their girl. The Newcomers’ Club needs a treasurer, you’re the lady for the job. The local strip club needs a Wednesday night topless act, look no further – well, maybe pass up that one up. If you get invited to anything – go.   Especially events that involve wine. Because I bet scrapbooking is pretty darn fun after a couple glasses of Sauvignon Blanc.

It’s the only way to eventually meet your gal pal soul mate in that little town.   Because no one meets anyone sitting on their couch, eating leftover Halloween candy and watching “Mad Men.” I know because I’ve tried. It’s the same rules as dating but this time you don’t care if your soul mate is hot so it’s much easier. It’s all about the personality.

Try to be patient. Forming new friendships is just a lengthy process.   So talk to your old friends on the phone and someday I promise you’ll meet the right girl for you.

Good luck to you,

Kelcey, TMH

13 Responses to “Lonely Girl Longs for Friends”

11.04.09#1

Comment by Wendi.

This is great advice, Kelcey.

But don’t be so quick to poo-poo the topless act at the Strip Club. That’s how I met MY BFF Chantrixx.

11.04.09#2

Comment by Lulu.

Great advice! I moved from NYC to TX and it was really hard but after joining all sorts of things, I now have a good group of girlfriends! I never resorted to scrapbooking, though but did search out all groups that did include a little pinot! Now, I can eat my leftover halloween candy and watch Mad Men knowing I have friends 😉

11.04.09#3

Comment by mari.

The same advice is true for moving from a small town to a big city – I’m still struggling to find friends. Not sure that helps … but this is definitely a universal side effect of moving to a new place.

11.04.09#4

Comment by Heather.

Wow, I’m going to take some of this advice too. Though every time I make a new friend, they move away due to their husband’s job.

Hey Miserable, wanna be my friend? I good have move away karma!

11.04.09#5

Comment by Heather.

Let it be known that I have not been drinking already today. I just can’t proofread my comments this morning.

11.04.09#6

Comment by Jenn.

Great advice. I’m also a transplanted Yankee living south of the Mason-Dixon line.

I really need to put some of these ideas into practice myself.

11.04.09#7

Comment by fraujoolie.

Anyone cool enough to be my friend in LA? Been out here six months and have only met true, true assholes, even in the mommy groups.

11.04.09#8

Comment by Emily.

Oh Miserable, how I have felt your pain. I too grew up in a big city and wound up on a calf ranch in nowhere Idaho and the only person I knew was my mother-in-law who does not like me. You MUST volunteer, you must get out. You have to be the one to initiate conversation sometimes at the park, and the grocery store, and the bank. Generally, small town people can be really friendly so that should help.

11.04.09#9

Comment by Marinka.

What are these “friends”? And can you get them in bulk?

11.04.09#10

Comment by GrandeMocha.

Sign the kiddies up to do stuff. Then you can meet the other mommies.

11.04.09#11

Comment by Jen.

I have moved so many times I could write a book on it. You do just need to get out there. If there is a hobby that you really enjoy doing, join a club or sign up for some classes. Depending on what the activity is there may be a really big community of women who enjoy doing the same thing. I ride horses and that has made this last move really manageable. There is an automatic ice breaker built into the conversation. Good luck.

06.29.10#12

Comment by The Mouthy Housewives » SWF Seeks BFF—ASAP.

[…] fact, Kelcey did a fabulous job of answering a similar question a while back and you can find that here. (And I don’t know for sure, but I think that advice seeker now has more friends than Tila […]

11.05.11#13

Comment by Lisa.

Take a look on the internet to see if anything interesting is going on in yourr town or a surrounding town. Or start a blog or chatgroup.

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