Dear Mouthy Housewives,
Our neighborhood has a community pool and I take my kids there about 3-4 times a week. Unfortunately, this summer, my friend’s husband (who was just laid-off) has been taking their kids there instead of her. I like him, but I’ve noticed that he keeps checking me out in my swimsuit and it makes me really uncomfortable. I can’t really avoid him because our kids are friends and they usually sit with us. What can I do?
Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
I’m not going to win any fans with this answer, but here it goes.
Most men look at women’s bodies. And some men look at men’s bodies. Some other men look at goats, but this isn’t that kind of website, so back out slowly.
The men who look at women, look at them in bathing suits, they look at them in shorts, in jeans, in skirts and probably in burkas. Some are better at hiding it than others, but most of them do it.
So if this guy is doing it and not hiding it well, you have some options:
1. Ignorance Is Bliss. Pretend you don’t notice him checking you out. Since we’re not in the 1950s, let’s reject this one right away.
2. Lie Through Your Teeth. Say something along the lines of “Ha ha, can you believe how that guy over there is checking out that woman in a bathing suit? He must think she’s blind. Sheesh, what kind of man does something like that?”
3. See Something, Say Something: Next time you catch him checking you out, say something. A casual “you seem to like my bathing suit, but I’m afraid it doesn’t come in your size” should drive home the message that you noticed him looking and you don’t like it. Sure, he’ll feel uncomfortable, but that’s sort of the point.
Whatever route you choose, remember that if he makes you feel uneasy, you are not obligated to continue to sit next to him. Even if your kids are friends. Even if they are best conjoined friends. Ask another friend to join you at the pool and make sure she takes the seat next to you. Or get to the pool first and grab a seat in a busy area. The kids can still play together even if their parents are not sitting next to each other.