29 Dec
I’d Love My Friends if They Were Actually Nice to Me

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I have these two friends that I really like to hang out with. They are smart and funny and in some ways the same as me. I also don’t have very many other friends at the moment (actually none) so it’s important I keep up these friendships. The problem is, they never ask about my life at all.

One dropped by today and spent an hour talking about herself and answering my questions but when I went to say something about me, or ask a leading question she ignored it. It’s always me asking them to do stuff and though I know they have fun when we’re out, I feel a bit pathetic and labrador-ish. I don’t know what I should do. Should I just grit my teeth and bear it until I make some new friends or should I confront them about it? I guess I could start ramming facts about my life down their throats but that just seems exhausting.

Signed,

Labradoodle

_____________________________________

Dear Labradoodle,

You obviously have a very loose interpretation of the word “friend.” Because these so-called smart, funny women are also enormously self-centered and hurtful. They don’t ask you to do things. They don’t ask about your life. What is so friendly about them?!

Sounds like they see themselves as the glamorous duo Farrah Fawcett and Jaclyn Smith while you’re stuck being bland Kate Jackson. So you have two choices here. You can either start feathering your hair or dump these two egocentric ladies.   I suggest the latter because too many layers are a bitch in the humidity.

Of course, that leaves you with no friends. Or at least no IRL (in real life) friends since we Mouthy Housewives already think you are fabulous. Reach out to other women (an acquaintance, someone from work, another mom)   that you know and invite her to a movie, a drink or dinner. It feels sort of like dating again but you don’t have to worry about that awkward “Will we kiss or won’t we?” moment.   Eventually, you’ll find the right girl. A real friend. One that doesn’t make you feel like a dog.

Good luck!

Kelcey, TMH

12 Responses to “I’d Love My Friends if They Were Actually Nice to Me”

12.29.10#1

Comment by Marathonmom.

Yay for Kelcey’s advice. Maybe you can say hey,New Year, new goals, do you want to walk every morning??? Take a yoga/WO/class?? It is sucha bitch, Yeah….. you have to A.S.K…..

Good Luck!!!

12.29.10#2

Comment by Naoma.

This has happened to me as well. We were new in town and I didn’t know many people. She was the first to seem friendly and we did a lot of things together…if I had the fun ideas, that is. After a time of wondering what would happen if I just sort of stopped calling or inviting this particular friend to do stuff, I DID just stop calling and inviting. I didn’t need to say anything and she may not have even noticed. But the friendship just dwindled away. For a little while I felt “friendless”. But then realized that by letting a not so enjoyable friendship fade out, I made a lot more room in my life for other friends and much more enjoyable activities.

NKL

12.29.10#3

Comment by Alex@LateEnough.

A preschool mom at my son’s school is exactly like that so if y’all are friends, dump her. It’d make me happy. And we can totally be friends are that initiation. I’m the unshowered one picking up my son.

12.29.10#4

Comment by Marinka.

I’d rather have no friends at all than have friends like that.

12.29.10#5

Comment by Diane.

I always tell my kids you have to be a friend to have friends and make an effort. These ladies clearly do not think enough about you to even inquire about you so how is that even considered friendship. Believe it or not, there are many great friends out there waiting for you so don’t waste any more time on these un-friends.

12.29.10#6

Comment by Jules.

My friend and I have an acquaintance like from high school. She asks us to lunch once a year. We go for shits and giggles. She’s not a real friend. She is selfish. But we find it funny so we go. Dump her. Fast.

12.29.10#7

Comment by Kimberly.

Having friends over-rated

12.29.10#8

Comment by dusty earth mother.

Seek out real friends. People who actually know your name. And ask about your day. And wash your feet. That last one is optional.

12.30.10#9

Comment by Desperate Dietwives.

I was in a similar situation a few years ago, but one day, after a particularly shitty behaviour on their part I decided to dump them.

It felt a bit lonely for a while, but it felt lonelier to be with people who didn’t care about me. After a while I found some real, nice, true friends and we are still sticking together.

You may not dump them all at once but gradually; anyhow, start looking around, go to a gym or something and you’ll see!

Good luck! 😀

12.30.10#10

Comment by Plano Mom.

Rude people suck. Dump em.

12.31.10#11

Comment by carma.

Dump these two! Stop wasting your time on them as they aren’t “friends”. Better to spend your time making other friends. I’ve have friends like this and these kind of relationships are very shallow.

06.08.11#12

Comment by Ace.

Best lines ever! “It feels sort of like dating again but you don’t have to worry about that awkward “Will we kiss or won’t we?” moment.”

Ohhh gawsh. It is super awkward making new friends, but it is also exciting. And date-like. And if you do some great choosing, it’s BETTER than having a man. Oh, god, in so many ways… This letter made me super sad. Sweetheart, good friends don’t SUCK at ALL! EVER! If your friends don’t make your heart feel like it is going to explode sometimes by how much your friends adore you, and you adore them right back, then dump those assholes and make another lady date. Like Kelcey said 🙂

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