19 Jan
I Got Rid of My Boyfriend But Now I Need Friends

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

A few days ago, I ended a serious relationship. It was mutual and not a bad breakup but I have no desire to remain in contact with my ex simply for the sake of moving on. However, I am realizing that the majority of my friends were friends I met through him. So now I am left with very few friends and that seems to be the hardest part of this breakup.

I have never had many female friends and have always been a bit of a tomboy. So I’m not sure how to approach other women. Where the heck can I meet some cool friends, male or female?

Signed,

I Don’t Want You, Just Your Friends

_____________________________

Dear Friendless,

Can’t you barter with your ex? You know, he gets to keep all those cool snow globes you collected together and you get just one of his friends?

No? Selfish boy. Well, he is going to miss those snow globes.

I must begin by complimenting you on your maturity. When I’ve broken up with a guy, I’ve had a month long mourning process where I eat my weight in Sweet Tarts, watch Meg Ryan movie marathons nonstop and sob into my Pinot Grigio. It’s pretty ugly.   You are obviously a lot more emotionally mature than me and that will be a big advantage when it comes to making some friends.

As someone who once relocated all alone to Montana (a place with more cows than people and cows are not that great at small talk), I know how difficult it can be to make friends.   The best way to meet new people is to get involved in something you like to do – whether it’s kayaking, yoga, reading or belly dancing.

You are more apt to connect with people who share a passion with you. So join a club. And even if you’re not outgoing, make an effort to chat with people. Ask them lots of questions because people love to talk about themselves.

And what about your workplace? Are there any folks there who you could imagine starting a friendship with? If yes, ask them to do a power walk with you during lunch or grab a drink after work. Don’t make it a big time commitment in case perky Susie from accounting turns out to be a closet cat hoarder. Not that I don’t love cats. I do. Just not 36 of them.

Or try the site MeetUp as a way to connect with people in your area. Keep going out and meeting people until you click with one or two of them. You know, someone who enjoys the same stuff you do and laughs at all your jokes about your ex and his obsession with snow globes. I promise, your future pal is out there.

Good luck,

Kelcey, TMH

5 Responses to “I Got Rid of My Boyfriend But Now I Need Friends”

01.19.12#1

Comment by Meredith L..

I’m the outgoing type, and even I have a hard time making new friends out of the blue. I’ve found that Yahoo groups is a great resource: you can get to know a group of people online before meeting up in person, and you can do it as anonymously as you’d like. Yes, some might *still* turn out to be cat hoarders (if someone’s screen name is CatLady62, it’s probably not ironic), but some of them might actually be cool.

01.19.12#2

Comment by Bean.

Excellent advice. I can only add to consider learning something new in a group setting – community colleges, libraries, yarn or craft stores, furniture repair places often offer classes or clubs.

01.19.12#3

Comment by vodka tonic.

Oooh, the same thing happened to me when I got divorced. I went to an online dating site, figuring I would at least find some fun buddies to hang out with for the summer, and wham-bang, met my future husband. Ya never know.

01.23.12#4

Comment by Chris10.

Thank you for the advice 🙂 I tried meetup and met a few people. I also got in touch with old friends through facebook and ended up rekindling quite a few good friendships. (Also I was socializing with an old male friend and found out we have a lot more in common than we realized and life is pretty good) Thanks again! 🙂

06.28.12#5

Comment by I Love My Family But What I Really Need Are Friends | The Mouthy Housewives.

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