Dear Mouthy Housewives,
Back in August, my recently divorced/everything is about me best friend since 3rd grade (we are in our 30’s now) forgot about my birthday. No call, no text, no nothing. We always do something on each others birthday. I’ve been upset about this and holding a grudge ever since even though I’m usually the one to forgive and forget.
Well, today is her birthday and guess what? I didn’t say a damn thing to her. I’m curious to see if she will say anything in the next few days about how I forgot her birthday, so I can tell her that she has a lot of nerve. Do you think I’m wrong or is she really being the selfish bitch that I think she is?
Dear Birthday Betrayal,
Man, does this conjure up painful memories for me. I was 16-years-old and my parents completely forgot about my birthday. No cake, no presents, no nothing. The entire day was awful, especially when I was chased around by a weird Chinese guy who kept yelling, “No more yanky my wanky, the Donger need food!” Then, to make matters even worse, I gave my panties to a geek. A geek! Thank God for Jake and his Porsche or I’d still be in therapy.
Anyway, what your friend did was completely thoughtless. No argument there. However, as someone who is horrible at remembering dates and even knowing what day of the week it is, I do implore you to give her some slack. Maybe she’s just too busy playing marathon games of Spider Solitaire to remember her parents’ anniversary again, Mom. But more likely, with her recent divorce, she’s just a bit overwhelmed.
Therefore, I say the nice, mature thing to do is just let it slide this once and take the high road. As Gandhi or Dora the Explorer famously said, “A true friend loves you even if you’re a jackass once in a while.” Give her a call or send an email wishing her a happy birthday, and I bet she’ll immediately remember she forgot yours, sincerely apologize and all will be better.
That said, I’d really like to end this answer here because I have some hot, sexy Swiffering to do, but I feel it is my Mouthy Housewife duty to say one more thing: I suspect that you might not want to continue this friendship anyway. You say she’s “everything is about me,” that you’re “usually the one to forgive and forget” and then call her a “selfish bitch.” I understand that you’re upset, but still—think about whether or not this is a friend you want to keep or if you’ve maybe just outgrown each other, which is completely understandable.
At least that’s what I told Long Duck Dong when I missed his 50th birthday last week.