22 Oct
Help! My Foot is in My Mouth!

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I take my son to preschool three days per week and I always arrive 15 – 20 mins early so he can play in the jungle gym before class. There is another mom there that always comes in early and we speak casually while watching the kids play. Well, I am 8 months pregnant and she asked when I was due. So I responded and then asked when she was due. She responded with “Oh, I am not pregnant.” I immediately apologized and said something stupid like “oh, I’m sorry I thought you were holding your belly.”

Ahhhh! I was so embarrassed and I feel horrible! I don’t know what to say to her the next time I see her! Please help.

Signed,

Foot-in-mouth Disease

_____________________________

Dear Foot-in-mouth,

Ahhhhh is right! Not the dreaded hey-are-you-pregnant-or-just-fat encounter! And by a fellow woman, no less! There are certain codes that women are sworn not to break. Allow me to refresh your memory, as it appears you seem to be in need:

1. Do not covet another woman’s husband.

2. Never eat the last chocolate.

3. Always speak up about errant broccoli sightings.

…and, of course never assume a woman is pregnant unless she’s wearing one of those obnoxious Carrying Precious Cargo t-shirts. (And even then, make sure she doesn’t have a dog in her purse.)

I, like everyone else who is reading this post today, here on The Mouthy Housewives, am sitting with a grimace on my face that has probably added several additional wrinkles to the area between my eyebrows. So, we thank you for that.

At the same time, however–now that you’ve been sufficiently browbeaten–I’m also kind of laughing because DUDE! You know the code of never-assume-a-woman-is-pregnant-no-matter-what-the-circumstances! And yet you choked! And now it’s awkward! AND THAT’S TOTALLY HILARIOUS! HAHAHAHAHA!

Go ahead, have yourself a chuckle; I swear it helps. I once told a small child that she was going to make a great PLAYGIRL when she grew up. (I don’t know.)  We’ve all been there, sister.

Now that it’s done, however, you can only do one thing: apologize once more and bring a small gift (perhaps nothing sugar free, lest she read between the lines). Be totally over-the-top about it–it’s this crazy baby brain of mine! I have a rare form of Tourettes! I’m 8 months along and misery loves company!–but just do it this one time.

Once that’s done, you just have to wait until the next time you see her to see if it actually worked. Either she’s a even-keeled, reasonable person and will let it go, or she’ll remain awkward and distant and hate you forever.

You just can’t win them all.

Love,

Kristine, TMH

7 Responses to “Help! My Foot is in My Mouth!”

10.22.12#1

Comment by Tina Shea.

My sister (who I don’t see often) once asked me the same thing….I was indeed just fat! I wanted to throat punch her….but eventually got over it…never forgot it, but forgive her for being stupid 🙂

10.22.12#2

Comment by Desperate Dietwives.

I guess we’ve all been there, at least once. When it happened to me I was at the hairdresser’s and asked the girl who was doing my hair when she was due. I would have gladly sunk when she said she was not pregnant.

In my opinion the only thing to do in such cases is avoid mentioning the accident in the future: you could only make things worse.
Just act normally and hopefully she’ll forget about it. She might even think to go on a diet and thank you one day for your accidental remark! 😀

10.22.12#3

Comment by ina.

I wouldn’t make a “big” thing out of it. Believe me, we (not skinny ones) are used to it and when it comes from kind people I am not even hurt. I played with a friends little daughter the other day, we laughed and talked and then she said “one the baby is there…” and I said “there will not be a baby”…. oh, she thought about it and then she asked “why are you so big then?” and I answered something like “some people are bigger, some are less, some are taler some are little, some are red haired…” and that is how it feels to me and she accepted it and we laughed and talked and read books… it was just part of our conversation. She didn’t apologize and I didnt’t feel bad. No need for a little gift or another sentence…

Dear foot in mouth,
it is okay. She knows you as a nice and friendly person, sees that you’re pregnant and that your thoughts circle around that circumstance a lot. Trust her, that she can cope with it and that she is old enough to understand all that and believe her that she is fine with how she is looking and her size. If you make it a big deal it turns weird, if you don’t it’s just normal and a funny little mistake of another mother surrounded by other mothers and even more kid in the preschool gym.
Just my 2 cents.
ina

10.22.12#4

Comment by Moira.

I once was at a fancy business lunch and asked a woman (40-ish) whether the man she was with (a young college student) was her son. They looked related and had the same last name. Oops… it was her brother! Ahhhh!

10.22.12#5

Comment by Marinka.

Someone asked me that once and I’ll hold on to that grudge forever. Of course she never got me chocolate. Double grudge.

10.22.12#6

Comment by Allison.

Precious Cargo shirts are annoying?? 😛

10.22.12#7

Comment by boliath.

I say don’t ignore it, she will remember, next time you see her, say I am sorry, please forgive me and leave it there.

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