Help Me Deal With a Messy Friend!
Welcome to Guest Mouthy Housewife Monday! Today we’re lucky to have Lady Jennie, who inspires envy by now living in France. Her site, A Lady in France, is beautiful and fun. Please check it out. You’ll certainly thank me for it. – Marinka, TMH
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
A good friend of mine frequently invites me over to her home for coffee or wine get togethers. I really like her, but I can’t stand how horribly messy her house is. It looks like a bomb went off and the disorganization makes my OCD go into overdrive. I just can’t relax when I’m there.
I’ve suggested she come over to my house or that we meet somewhere else, but she prefers to be at her house since she has a small baby who takes naps. I really want to be her friend, but what should I do?
Signed,
Clean Freak
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Dear Clean Freak,
Well, the obvious answer is to bring over a pair of rubber gloves (she surely won’t own a pair) and put your OCD to good use. You can start in the kitchen.
I mean, what’s the point of having an OCD friend if they aren’t there for you in your time of need? That’s the way I roll and my friends all know where to start when they visit.
Not down with the rubber gloves-on approach? Then the way I see it, you’ve got two options:
The natural approach would be to sit yourself down at your pristine granite-topped kitchen island with a short espresso and shake your head in contemplation at how hard it is to be perfect, surrounded by so many inferior beings.
But there’s another way to go that will allow you to transcend your perfect nature and reach sainthood just by appreciating the good qualities your friend brings into the relationship. Don’t focus on her shortcomings; rather take the onus on yourself and say something like, “I love hanging out with you – you are the wind beneath my wings. But spending time in a house that’s not well-ordered brings out the OCD in me and makes it difficult for me to focus on our delightful conversation. Do you think we could meet in another location of your choosing? I’ll treat you to croissants and a decaf.”
Your friend will marvel at your vulnerability and will want to do anything to keep you in your state of zen, and your reputation for being a considerate friend will remain squeaky clean.
14 Responses to “Help Me Deal With a Messy Friend!”
Comment by The Flying Chalupa.
The natural approach – love it! It is SO hard being better than everyone else.
Moral of this story: babies are to blame for everything.
Happy New Year, Mouthy Gals!
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Comment by GrandeMocha.
Ask if you can help her out while you are over. Maybe you could clean & drink at the same time. I know I’m enjoying watching the cleaning lady while I surf online!
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Comment by Lady Jennie.
Thank you for having me over – it was a huge honor for me. 
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Comment by StephanieG.
I’m so glad my kid is past that napping stage. Now my OCD friends don’t have to feel icky over coffee with my dustbunnies.
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Comment by dusty earth mother.
Oh My Gah, the karma on this is frightening. I’m the messy friend and Lady Jennie is coming to my house TOMORROW with her family to stay for a few days before she heads back to pristine France. Great answers, Jennie, but I gotta run and sterilize the sheets!
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Comment by Heather, TMH.
Up the amount of wine you drink at her house. That trick always works to relax me.
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Comment by Stacia.
You treat me to croissants and I don’t have to clean my house? You’re on. >i>So on.
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Comment by Michelle.
Hello? Small baby? Does anyone else besides me see that this lady needs some help?!?! Girl, if she is a mother of a small napping baby, help her out! I have a 3 year old and a 6 month old with a messy house and I would be grateful 100 times over to have a good friend come over and help.
Hey, what are friends for?
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Comment by Kelcey.
She has a baby? Even a small baby is very messy. That friend needs to start cleaning ASAP. That is the greatest gift you could give a new mother.
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Comment by HellTygr.
This is why I never have friends over. I can’t stand being judged just because my level of ‘tidy’ will never be on the cover of House Beautiful.
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Comment by MommyTime.
Others have already said it, but I’ll reiterate: a true friend would say, “I’m totally OCD, as you know, and you’re totally sleep deprived, as I know for I too have lived in the land of small infants, so how about YOU go take a nap while the baby sleeps, and I’ll clean your kitchen? Then when you both wake up, I’ll make us coffee, and we’ll sit in this pristine space and drink it.”
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Comment by Average Jane.
I don’t know…I have the cleanest house of all my friends normally… but since my littlest one was born in summer ’10, I can’t seem to meet my own (impossible) standards. I think I might be a little perturbed at having comments made about my squalor. I think I would tend to agree with the “drink yourself oblivious” comment and call it a day. Unless, of course, there is pet odor/mess that is offensive to the senses. In which case, I would feign a newly discovered pet allergy and offer to meet elsewhere.
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anon Reply:
January 23rd, 2011 at 9:16 pm
I was hoping someone would bring that up. Pet odor (RANK!) pet hair everywhere, patting pets that have not been BATHED in oh a year or so. Don’t get me wrong, I have two dogs of my own but for some reason my house does not stink like poop and rancid dogs.
No point. Just had to get that out there
I feel better now.
But yeah, if she has a new baby and is a first time mom (or heck, has more than one) I would give her a break.
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