26 Jul
Get the Hint, Already

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

The mother of my daughter’s best friend keeps inviting me out for coffee, drinks, spa days and every other “fun” activity you can think of. It’s nice of her, but I don’t like her. She has tons of other friends, so it’s not that she’s lonely. How do I get her to stop asking me?

Signed,

Stop Friending Me
____________________________________________

Dear Stop Friending Me,

I’m going to have to assume that you’ve already applied for an Order of Protection against this woman. I mean, coffee, drinks and spa days? I don’t know how you can sleep at night knowing she’s out there. If you don’t nip this one in the bud, she’ll be dragging you to movies and shopping sprees next.

But if you haven’t tried at least one outing with her, you really owe it to yourself. She’s your daughter’s best friend’s mother. She may surprise you.

Then, if your opinion of her remains unchanged, I must commend you for contacting The Mouthy Housewives because we go to great lengths to make sure our readers’ problems are solved. Meaning, I’ll meet her for the spa day, Heather will meet her for drinks, count on Kelcey to show up for that coffee date and if anything else comes up, Wendi’s your gal.

If for some strange reason you don’t want to go with that award-winning idea, just keep saying “no” without the human impulse to soften it with a “some other time, maybe.” Most people will get the hint after a half a dozen times and the ones who are a bit slower will usually pick up on your disinterest in six to twelve months.

If you are worried that you appear overly unfriendly in rejecting her every advance, invite her and her daughter over for dinner some day. The kids will love it and she may be easier to bear with them around.

Best wishes!

Marinka

8 Responses to “Get the Hint, Already”

07.26.10#1

Comment by Nicole.

Oh, the horrors. Awesome advice, count me in for a turn, too.

[Reply]

07.26.10#2

Comment by Jill.

It took me a while to embrace my oldest son’s best friends mothers. They were so different from me; practical, efficient, pragmatic, rough around the edges and a whole lot less sensitive. They were the type of women where it made sense for them to have boys, not me.

Through the years my resistance began to lift as I found myself forced together with them during sporting games, on top of mountain peaks we climbed with our boys and on survivor hut trips,and now? I cannot live without them. They are my mentors on how to keep my boys in line and they push me to do exciting adventures with the children.

Listen to your radar. If it is telling you to stay away because of differences than perhaps you should think again. If it is due to fears of a psychotic personality and she appears to be needy and psycho, trust your instincts. But remember, a door open is often better than a door shut.

[Reply]

07.26.10#3

Comment by Christen.

I want to be Jill’s friend. :)

[Reply]

07.26.10#4

Comment by Heather, TMH.

I think I’m getting the best end of this stick! When is it 5 o’clock?

[Reply]

07.26.10#5

Comment by GrandeMocha.

My elementary aged son’s BFF’s mom invited me to a sex toy party. It was a riot! I went because I’d never done anything like it, why not?

[Reply]

07.26.10#6

Comment by MarathonMom.

Does she have a pool? Lakehouse?
IJS

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07.29.10#7

Comment by Betty Herbert.

Had this very same problem myself recently – perfectly nice wife of husband’s friend (keep up) invited me to join a *wives club*, composed of all the wives of her husbands’ friends.
My question was: why? Why can’t we just let them get on with their social lives? Why form a spurious social club based on nothing more than being married to a group of people who occasionally hang out?
The answer is assimilation. Some people seem to think that the purpose of a social life is to assimilate as many people into the fold as possible. It’s like those irritating people of FB who are in it for the numbers.
I say: resist all the way. If it requires fingernails & teeth, resist. This is not real friendship, it’s the Borg.

[Reply]

08.02.12#8

Comment by How Do I Politely Tell Him I'm Not Interested? | The Mouthy Housewives.

[...] seriously cannot stop receiving emails and phone calls from a local sport teams sales representative. While he’s really nice, I fear this is a dead [...]

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