Heartbroken
Dear Friends,
On Friday we learned that our friend Anna tragically lost her son.
We cannot make sense of it. We cannot make sense of the fact that the beautiful boy just starting 7th grade is gone.
Children passing away is inconceivable.
It’s impossible to imagine the family’s grief and yet we can think of little else.
It’s hard to know how to be helpful, how to express our sorrow and our love, the gut-wrenching ways that this unbearable loss has transformed us, is transforming us.
Our thoughts and prayers are with Anna and her family.
Love,
Kelcey, Marinka, Wendi, Tonya and Kristine
For other posts for Anna, please visit here.
19 Responses to “Heartbroken”
Comment by Kim.
Will say a special prayer for Anna and her family tonight. Horrible news.
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Comment by Nicole.
I am sick. Just sick. My heart hurts for Anna, her husband and their whole family. He was a beautiful little boy. Just unfathomable… will send up many, many prayers.
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Comment by christy.
I have never prayed so hard, nor been so moved by another’s loss. It’s unspeakably tragic.
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Comment by Muffintopmommy.
My heart breaks for the family. No one should have to lose a child. Warm thoughts and prayers for them. 
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Comment by Kate Coveny Hood.
Going to the service will be one of the hardest things I’ve done since becoming a mother. I’ve never felt this much grief for another person’s loss. I’m just praying for Anna, as I know she would for me.
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Comment by Ruth.
I lost my newborn son three months ago. It’s something I wish I could never relate to.
I wanted to comment and share my thoughts on how you can help.
DON’T say “God needed another angel”
DONT’T say “At least you have your daughter”
DON’T say “He’s in a better place”
DON’T say “Well he lived a good life”
DON’T say anything to suggest his death was warranted. The last thing I wanted to hear was that God wanted my child to die or that it was okay since he was in Heaven. I didn’t want him in a better place, I wanted my son with ME.
It will never be okay. She will never be be comforted thinking God wanted her child.
I was comforted the most by people just saying “I am so sorry”. It was short, to the point, and showed me that they cared. You don’t have to come up with a long reason why he died or why it will be okay.
I wrote a piece about it here: http://life-afterloss.blogspot.com/2011/09/just-say-youre-sorry.html
If some of you live close to her, bringing food is such a helpful gesture. It’s been three months since I lost Corbin and I’m still not back into the groove of cooking. So bring food, paper plates, plastic utensils…anything to make it easier on her and her family. The last thing they are thinking about is what to make for dinner or who’s going to do the dishes.
Offer to babysit, take her daughter to the park, walk the dog, clean their house, mow the yard; they will be so grateful.
They will be in a fog for a long time. So don’t expect a “thank you” right away, their hearts are broken. They do appreciate and love you, but they can’t think straight right now. Their world will never be the same.
I’m sorry this is long but I hope it helps someone. Grief is so powerful and there is no wrong way to grieve so be gentle. My heart breaks with them…
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Comment by Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him.
Can’t stop thinking about this woman and her family. No way to make sense of something like this.
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Comment by Plano Mom.
Just this morning I saw a photo on the front page of the newspaper. A woman grieving anew at the loss of her son 10 years ago. I thought to myself that is the only pain that I cannot imagine going through, it hurts too much to even think of. So, so sad this has happened.
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Comment by annie.
Such unimaginable pain! My heart and all my thoughts go to his family and all the people who loved him!!
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Comment by Becky (Princess Mikkimoto).
I haven’t stopped thinking about Anna and her family since it happened. I didn’t “know” her before this but regardless I have her and her family in my thoughts.
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Comment by Allison Zapata.
Haven’t stopped thinking of them. Heartbreaking. Praying so hard for them. So sorry. xoxo
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Comment by Alexandra.
I am still shaking my head in disbelief, it’s unimaginable.
I don’t know what to do with how much I want to help Anna at this time.
I don’t know what to do..so I cry.
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Comment by Loukia.
I too have not been able to think of anything else. I can’t make sense of this tragedy, either. No mother should ever have to go through this pain. It’s not right, not normal, not fair. The thing is, once you become a mom, it is very easy to imagine that pain of losing a child and I think that is why we are all so bleeding right now. Because we know, a little bit, how awful and disgusting and horrific this is. And how precious every second is.
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Comment by anna see.
thank you, mouthy housewives. thank you for crying with me. and ruth? thank you for the great advice for all of us. with a broken heart, anna
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dusty earth mother Reply:
September 12th, 2011 at 8:48 am
Very well said. And I’m so sorry that you can give this advice first-hand. My heart goes out to you.
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Ann Reply:
September 12th, 2011 at 9:43 am
Thank you for sharing these tips. Unfortunately, our society is pretty ill-equipped when it comes to dealing with death or greif–especially this magnitude of tragedy.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Holding you and Anna in my heart and thoughts.
Ann
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