A Full Dental Check Up For This Gift Horse, Please
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My sister recently asked me and my brother for money for a joint anniversary gift for our parents. We gave the money she asked and she bought a gift. No way did that gift cost what it should have. No possible way.
My sister and I aren’t close, and my brother says to just drop it. But he can afford it more than I can.
Do I confront her? Write it off? Steal the money back somehow (kidding).
Signed,
Ripped Off
______________________________
Dear Ripped Off,
My first instinct is “drop it,” but apparently The Mouthy Housewives’ editorial guidelines frown upon two word advice columns, so let me elaborate.
You believe that the money you gave your sister, times three, is more than the price of the gift that she bought for your parents. I’m going to assume that you’ve factored the tax and the shipping into the calculation.
If your sister did, in fact, overcharge you, you are entirely justified in feeling ripped off. And since it bothers you, you need to raise it with her. But tread lightly. Don’t accuse her, because sometimes things cost more than you think. Or more than I think. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve taken a crisp $20 bill to the supermarket and was absolutely shocked by how little it bought me. (Well, I can’t tell you, but the cashier could. And so could the store manager. And the security guard.)
Ask your sister, “Wow, what did you end up spending on that chandelier for mom and dad, anyway?” and if you want to throw in a little passive aggressive zing (which I recommend only for advanced cases of Pissed Off), add “Did I give you enough money? Do I owe you more?” If your sister waves you away with a “I don’t remember” or a number that seems inflated to you, tell her that you’d like to take the item back because you saw the exact same one for a lot less money.
No doubt she will thank you for your diligence and either agree to return the item so that you can buy the exact same one for your parents for less or confess that she charged a premium for her gift acquisition skills. Either way, the two of you will be closer than ever!
Or, you can just drop it.
By the way, want to go in on a gift for the other Mouthy Housewives with me? I’ll email you my bank routing info.
Best,
Marinka, TMH
12 Responses to “A Full Dental Check Up For This Gift Horse, Please”
Comment by Albug.
If it’s less than $100.00, drop it and consider it a lesson learned. You could also look at it as another gift to your parents because you helped out your sister and made your parents happy at the same time.
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Comment by sisterfunkhaus.
Can you Google the gift and find out how much it cost on the internet? If it is way less, you can send a link to her and ask her if she really did pay as much as she says she did.
I do agree with the above poster. I would have wanted to know what the gift was, the exact cost, and where it was coming from.
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Comment by StephanieG.
Next year, offer to buy the gift yourself and make her send you more than her fair share. Turnabout is fair play!
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Comment by Mo.
Reading this just gives me another reason to be happy about being an only child.
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Comment by Plano Mom.
She’s your sister. When your parents are gone you will be happy you have her in the world.
If you suffered a serious hardship to give her the money, by all means say something, and let her know how she may have harmed you. If not, choose to believe that she really needed the money but was too ashamed to ask, and work on having a closer relationship with her in the future. You’ll be able to sleep a lot better if you do.
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Comment by Catherine.
I would say, drop it and don’t do joint presents with her anymore.
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Comment by Coach Sara.
If it was a pajamagram then she definitely used all the money. totally overpriced shmang. I would also like to publicly lay claim to the first usage of the word shmang. I made it up last week.
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Comment by annie.
Perhaps you paid a “convenience tax” for not having to do the shopping yourself?
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Comment by Meredith L..
This is why my brother and I email each other price limits and links to things we’d like to buy for our parents first. And since we usually take turns buying gifts for them it all generally evens out in the end.
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Comment by Angie Uncovered.
Ouch, been there. I agree with the poster who said if it’s under $100 just drop it. I wouldn’t go on gifts with her in the future or I wouldn’t let her do the shopping again. 
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Comment by Anna Lefler.
I think you have to talk this out with your sibling or it’s going to fester and by Thanksgiving you be serving her sneezers at what should be a lovely, festive occasion.
Or maybe that’s just me.
A.
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Comment by chris.
So you sent her money without discussing what the gift would be? Guess lesson learned.
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