27 Aug
To Let Him in or Not to, That is the Question, Literally

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

What is the least traumatic way to refuse re-entry to the man who stomped out of his home yelling, “I’ll be back for my shit later!” but now wishes to come back?

Sincerely,

Don’t let the door hit you on the way out

_________________________________________

Dear Don’t,

The least traumatic way is to open the door and tell him, “Welcome home honey, very nice to see you again.” However, I’m getting the feeling that it would more likely that my mother would walk out of Nordstrom’s empty handed than your rolling out the welcome mat, so let’s move on, shall we?

If you’re not married to the guy, you don’t have to let him back in but I’m going to assume that he, like most people, wants his stuff and wants to use it while under the roof of what he considers to be his home and will not settle for plugging his TV set into an outlet in your living room and then running the cord out onto his new home, the street, to watch “the game”.

If you are married and you don’t want him back in the house, you’re likely going to have bigger problems. I’m no divorce lawyer, although for the money I spent on mine, I could have covered at least two years of law school, but the division of property in most states makes it so that he gets at least part of it (including the debt). Therefore, if your house is one of the millions that is now worth less than you paid for it, well then congratulations on such perfect timing.

I don’t know this man and it seems that you’ve pretty much lost your “hard on” for the guy, but if there is any hope of reconciliation, I would say go for it. You see, I’ve been out in the dating world and it’s not pretty, not pretty at all my friend.   So if something can be done to avoid having to put yourself back out in the world in which I now find myself living or rather existing, by all means, try it.

If not, I’ve got a plethora of men who are needy, broke and who would be happy to find someone to fill the time between phone calls to their mothers, so at least you know, if you don’t want to be end up alone you won’t have to, even though while on a date with these fellas, you’ll likely find that you’d wish you were.

All that being said, whatever you decide to do, just make sure to stay safe.

Good luck.

Love,

Jessica, TMH

5 Responses to “To Let Him in or Not to, That is the Question, Literally”

08.27.09#1

Comment by LISA5OF5.

The key here is to be accommodating. For example: Put his stuff in bags (I would use garbage bags, but that’s just me) on the porch. Then change the locks and let him know he can pick his shit up anytime as long as he isn’t worried about inclement weather or thieves. Convenient for him, convenient for you, yes?

Also, if he happens to tell you when he’ll be by, invite some friends over while he’s there. Nothing like the threat of looking like an ass in front of others to keep him from acting like an ass.

Finally, as bad as it may be out there in dating hell, always remember that the only thing worse than being lonely alone is being lonely with some jerk who makes any future happiness impossible. Good luck and happy packing.

08.27.09#2

Comment by Ashlie- Mommycosm.

I can’t remember which Jodi Picoult book it was…but the lead character yard saled all of her husband’s stuff while he was at work. She had just found out he had cheated on her. Ha!

Seriously, though. I agree with the above. Demand to know when he’ll be back, invite friends over and STAY SAFE at all costs.

08.27.09#3

Comment by emilywardid.

Since no one else has brokered the question and dive right in with, are there children in your home? If you’re worried about trauma to them, then kudos, because you should be. In that situation, I would suggest letting him come pack his stuff himself while a trusted friend or family member is there, but you and the kids are not. They don’t need to see that. They have plenty of other things that will hammer the finality of the situation in their tiny brains.

09.01.09#4

Comment by Lottie Lou.

Thanks for the input, everyone. No, we weren’t married, and my kids are 18 and 19. I didn’t throw his stuff in the road, but I did move everything to the garage and informed his friends that they had to come with him when he came to retrieve his stuff. I also have my friends on standby to show up on the big move out day.

09.01.09#5

Comment by MrsConehead.

But you said “his” home. Does the house belong to him? If not, sounds like you’ve handled everything sensibly and just have to keep a strong stance. It apparently helps if you are VERY clear that you are done and you really don’t want him around. Don’t waffle, don’t be nice, and don’t have sex with him.

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