25 May
Can This Younger Man, Older Woman Thing Really Work?

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

I am a divorced mother of two (ages 17 and 10). I’ve been divorced for approximately 3 years after an 11 year marriage. It was very difficult for me.   I am 35 years old and tried dating several times but when it got serious, I turned and ran for the door. I felt like I was settling and I refuse to settle. I know what I want but I’m beginning to think my standards are set too high.

Normally, I am attracted to older guys but the younger ones in their 20s are the only ones really pursuing me. For the past month, I hooked up with a 20 year old and the boy has rocked my world. We have great sex but he is immature. We entered the relationship as “friends with benefits.”   It worked for me because I don’t have to commit but the more time I spend with him the more I truly like him. What should I do?

Signed,

My “Friends with Benefits” Man is Only Three Years Older Than My Child

____________________________

Dear Friends with Benefits,

I think at some point all of us have to ask ourselves the most important relationship question… Am I Demi Moore in this scenario?

Perhaps you are. Maybe you’re already dating your Ashton Kutcher and it’s just time to take the relationship to the next level.   And many many years from now, you’ll be sitting on the couch with him, holding hands and watching old reruns of “Two and a Half Men.”

When I was in my late twenties (okay, I was 30), I dated someone significantly younger than me. Like a decade younger. And he was sweet, super cute and loads fun. He had abs that I’ll never experience again. But once some of the lust wore off, I realized that I really had NOTHING to say to him. Not even a mutually shared love of Kabbalah and Twitter to fall back on.   So I broke his sweet young heart. I’m absolutely positive he must still be pining away for me.

Your boy toy sounds hot. And fun. With awesome abs. But you said it yourself… he’s immature. And I’m guessing that is not a trait you are looking for in a long term relationship.   Go ahead and date this guy until he makes fart jokes in front of your boss at the company summer picnic. Then move on.

Given your divorce, I can imagine you are very gun shy about relationships right now.   You might want to consider making an appointment with a therapist to work on some of your fears.   And don’t ever think about settling when it comes to men.   Now if you’re at the grocery store and they’re out of Cookie Dough Crunch ice cream, feel free to settle for Double Chocolate Delight. But when it comes to guys, you deserve the best one.

Good luck,

Kelcey, TMH

 

5 Responses to “Can This Younger Man, Older Woman Thing Really Work?”

05.25.11#1

Comment by Another Brick in the Wall.

Thinking of the situation from someone else’s angle migtht help you.
Think for instance of the boy’s parents’ reaction if the relationship were to become a lasting one. Think of your own reaction if your son were in a similar situation. I think you can find the answer right within yourself. 🙂

05.25.11#2

Comment by Julia.

My uncle met his wife when he was nineteen (18 is the legal age over here) and she was 34 with two young children. now he’s 54 and they are still married and they seem to be really happy. I’m sure he was immature when they first met. And yes, my grandma was upset.

05.25.11#3

Comment by amourningmom.

Great advice. You are so wise Kelc!

05.26.11#4

Comment by Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up).

I say have fun and enjoy yourself. It’s RARE that it actually works out for the long run. Usually, a 20 year old boy is out to get laid and I’m not sure he’s up to the mature aspects of a relationship.’

Just my opinion though

07.26.11#5

Comment by Dare I Date A Younger Man | The Mouthy Housewives.

[…] we don’t know if the two of you have a spark off the dance floor,  common interests and things to talk about, however, so take it one step at a […]

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