09 Dec
It’s My Party and I’ll Invite Who I Want To

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

My husband’s ex-wife wants to come to my house for a surprise graduation party my husband’s daughter-in-law is throwing. Now, this woman has done terrible things not only to my husband but has been very cold to me. My husband is afraid that if I don’t allow it he won’t be invited to future events at her house for his kids. Mind you the kids have never accepted me either.

What should I do?


Conundrum Connie


Dear C.C.,

First off, get drunk. Lord knows I need a drink just reading the question. Please stand by while I make one.

Okay, I took care of that. Let’s see if I fully understand your situation. Your step daughter-in-law is throwing a surprise party at your home and the ex-wife wants to come, we assume because this party is for her son (or possibly her daughter since we want to include the possibility of gay marriage), only the ex-wife looks to Mel Gibson as a guiding force and personal role model in her life.

What can I say other than it sucks to be you? Let me think. Beware this thinking thing may lead to brain constipation…

Fifteen minutes later

Either I did incur a terrible case of brain constipation or the answer to your dilemma is surprisingly clear. After all of the thinking, the only solution that comes to me is to invite her to the party. I can’t see how it would hurt you, plus, since your step-daughter-in-law is throwing the party, shouldn’t she have a say in the guest list? Besides, think of the bonus Christmas points you’ll earn with a charitable attitude. I’m pretty sure Santa puts an asterisk that closely resembles diamond earrings beside the names of people who graciously tolerate asshat ex-spouses.


Heather, TMH

8 Responses to “It’s My Party and I’ll Invite Who I Want To”


Comment by botched.

Do it. Swallow your pride. Invite her. Trust me. This almost very same situation happened with my husbands daughter 20 years ago. We did not go along with it. His daughter never spoke to him again. Except 2 years ago when she was sobbing over his casket at his funeral. I did not want HER at the funeral. But I just shut up. Take my word for it. Invite the crazy woman. It will save a lot of grief in the future.


Comment by calliope.

If it’s the daughter in law throwing it, I assume it’s for the son? Who you said doesn’t accept you? So why are they even throwing it at your house in the first place?


Comment by GrandeMocha.

Remove the weapons from the house first. Guns + alcohol + family = Jerry Springer


Comment by Wendi.

“Surprise graduation party…” There seems to be a lot I could say about that, but I’m just going to have a drink with Heather.

annie Reply:

Thanks for asking about that. Does the person not know they’re graduating? Pour me one too will ya? I just love to invite myself to come along.


Comment by Plano Mom.

My husband’s ex came to Thanksgiving dinner this year. She’s the mother of my husband’s child and deserves to be a witness to her life, regardless of how I feel about her.

Allow your DIL to invite her. Open your home to her just as if she were your crazy Aunt Ethel that no one likes but you have to invite anyway. One thing is for sure, if you say no she won’t get a chance to be the rude one-you’ll be judged that before the party even starts.


Comment by JubanMama.

If I had a nickle for every time I was forced to spend a quote-un-quote “quality moment” with a relative I hated, I’d…oh wait, I do, because my father totally had to bribe me. Maybe if you do this, your hubby can spring for a spa day for you in return?


Comment by Karin.

my uncle’s ex comes to all the family events – she comes for her son but we all like her. There’s always a bit of tension when both she and uncle’s current wife are there but they are civil to each other and friendly with everyone else as they are both nice ladies with lots of class. I understand that there was a lot more tension when I was little but they know that it’s not about them.

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