Tomorrow is Tax Day in America and we at the Mouthy Housewives have been eating bon-bons by the bucketful to ease the pain. We just realized that so many of the things we rely on aren’t tax deductible!
So, we’ve decided to put together a list for the IRS to put in place before next year. Maybe by then Wendi will no longer be hogging the box of Zinfandel while crying in the closet.
Medical and Dental Expenses
Case of Costco Pinot Grigio (Doctor’s orders! And by Doctor we mean the owner of our local liquor store)
Botox (we read a study that showed those with Botox had less anger,or at least were able to express less anger, so, let’s call this “Anger Management”)
40 Gallons of chocolate chip ice cream (it’s like frozen Prozac!)
Muumuus for the nudists who live next door (Neighborhood beautification)
Suspenders for Larry of the Neighborhood Watch (trust us…this helps EVERYONE!)
Year subscription to Us Weekly and In Touch
There was that time we called long distance to Switzerland to order special anti-wrinkle cream and we had to use our 8th grade French
Cable TV (so we can stay current on important issues like Bridezillas, The Bachelor, and Dance Moms)
Business Use of Home
Storage of daughter’s 200 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies (this may or may not…ok, may, include the subsequent purchase and devouring of said 200 boxes of cookies and then a necessary personal trainer)
Carpet cleaner and interior painter for that fateful Monday night when Book Club became Fight Club (We can’t talk about it…)
Business Use of Car
Impromptu trip to Mexico for select members of PTA (To taste test margaritas for next PTA fundraiser)
Driving Mother-in-law home 3000 miles when her flight was cancelled (Also includes the price of a stun gun and duct tape)
What do you think, have we missed anything?