07 Nov
Political Signs Make Bad Neighbors

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

When the 2012 election is finally over, is it acceptable to go destroy my neighbor’s yard signs? They’re for a candidate I voted against and I’ve looked at them (the signs, sometimes the neighbors) with hatred for six total months. Please say it’s okay to go get medieval on them signs.

Signed,

Atilla the Hun

_____________________________________

Dear Atilla,

This certainly has been a particularly divisive election, what with the political climate charged with things like uteri, employment, war, and Big Bird. In fact, a friend was just lamenting that half of her family unfriended her on Facebook because of her political status updates. But good riddance, right? (Unless it was wealthy Uncle Bob, in which case it’s time to repent.)

With your neighbors, however, it can be even trickier ground to navigate since they’re, like, real-life people and not just fake Internet ones. For this reason, I would caution you against destroying their signs with a midnight shock-and-awe campaign. Unless, of course, you have a really awesome plan that would frame that crotchety couple across the block that no one likes anyway, because it’d basically be a victimless crime. Mostly.

Plus, you should seize this opportunity to teach your children a lesson about tolerance. Or maybe just maturity. Do your best to get yourself and all your like-minded friends out to the polls next time, and take comfort in the sense of gratification you get from rocking the vote and working hard to get your political ideals into positions of power! Success is the best revenge, right?

Oh, who am I kidding. Kick those damn signs in, blame it on the dog, and then bake them a cake laced with Visine.

It’s the American Way.

Love,

Kristine, TMH

6 Responses to “Political Signs Make Bad Neighbors”

11.07.12#1

Comment by Julie.

I find it incrediably funny that the ad next to this post is a political one. I can’t figure out how to go “medival on them signs” without ruining my computer screen.

But seriously, I do believe that all of the polls are officially closed. Please go away.

11.07.12#2

Comment by Desperate Dietwives.

So, what you’re basically saying is that if your neighbours had put on signs for the candidate you voted, you would have befriended them for the last six months? Tell you what, I’m glad I’m not your neighbour!!!

11.07.12#3

Comment by Wendi.

I think (hope?) this question is tongue in cheek. But once or twice during the election, I know I’ve imagined doing something similar.

11.07.12#4

Comment by Connie.

When I looked into getting a sign, I figured out you have to PAY for them. I didn’t like anyone enough to pay to advertise for them :). Anyway, hold back, I understand your irritation, but you don’t want to get charged with vandalism. Also, given the vote was nearly 50/50 (51/49, whatever, I’m too lazy to check), get over it or you’ll end up mad at half the country!

11.15.12#5

Comment by Kassandra.

Check with your local zoning board- there might be a regulation you can use to get them to take them down. I know where I live you are allowed to leave the political signs up for exactly ONE (1) week after the election and if they are still up after that you can get a hefty fine. In our case its a state law so no wiggle room if they are say outside the city limits or something…

03.08.13#6

Comment by Holly James.

My neighbors have political Calgary signs all over their yard and car windows. I think it’s great to have an opinion but at that point it just seems obnoxious. It is their yard though and they have a right to put whatever they want in it. You should do the same for your candidate! http://www.topmade.com/signsandservices.php

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