Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My pre-teen daughter wakes up so grumpy every morning.
It ruins the whole morning before she leaves for school. I miss the days when she was little and woke up singing. Any ideas to get her out of her morning funk?
My Daughter is Grumpy
Marinka’s brilliant Mouthy Housewives answer is just one click away on BlogHer…
This post is sponsored by VolunteerSpot.com.
I love 3:00 p.m. Not because that’s when “Judge Judy” is on, but because 3:00 p.m. is time the school bus stops on the corner and drops off my boys. I always wait by the front door, eager to hear about what they learned and who they played with during their eight hours away from me. Then, as soon as they walk inside the house, my precious little babies heave a big sigh, drop their backpacks on my foot and greet me with the sweet, sweet words: “Yo, can I have a snack?”
Okay, it’s not really that bad, but after a full day of school, they’re a little bit fried. Seriously, Jack looked like Reverend Jim from “Taxi” his entire second grade year. So that’s why I’ve always let them relax after they get home from school and do whatever they want. Watch TV, play on the computer, run around the cul-de-sac with their buddies—anything to let off a little steam before dinner and homework. I think of it as the equivalent of a Happy Hour after working all day in an office.
But now that they’re older—fifth and seventh grade—the after-school activities have begun in full force. We now have scout meetings, sports practice, playdates, honor society meetings, etc. and it tends to be really confusing to someone like me who isn’t exactly “competent” at keeping ever-changing schedules straight. I’m also not very skilled at reading the hundreds of Reply-All emails from the parents involved in organizing such activities. (“Not very skilled” = “Deleted them in a fit of rage.”)
That’s why I’m always pushing activity show runners to use VolunteerSpot.com, a wonderful online organizational tool founded by friend Karen Bantuveris. VS has free sign-up sheets and email reminders that are super helpful when it’s your turn to do things like bring the after-school soccer snack. (OMG, those little kids get vicious when they don’t get their juice boxes.) They help you coordinate any after-school volunteer type of activity so you don’t show up at ballet practice with 100 hot dog buns that were meant for the baseball concession stand.
And if that wasn’t enough good news for your school year, VolunteerSpot is celebrating Back to School with a HUGE sweepstakes where you can win more than $20,000 in prizes for you and your school! The current theme is “After School Cool”– some of the great prizes you can win for you AND your child’s after school group include a $500 Amex card (to fund uniforms, a trip, a celebration), Care.com FreeTime credits, and Cabot Creamery gift packs with enough artisan cheese to snack up the whole team! Plus you’ll be automatically entered to win a $1,500 grant for your favorite school!
‘Back 2 Cool Sweepstakes’ | After-School Cool: When You Plan, You Win!
After-school activities play a vital, positive role for children in fostering their interests, values and growth, and those activities take lots of coordination. Now is your chance to be After School Cool in the VolunteerSpot ‘Back 2 Cool’ Sweepstakes event and win amazing experiences for your afterschool groups, your school and you!
You can win one of these awesome After School Cool prizes for you and your school, and you’ll automatically be entered to win the grand prize in our Big ‘Back 2 Cool’ Sweepstakes – one of 3 – $1,500 Grants for your School and an iPad for you! Remember, share this giveaway with your friends and others at your school, and you can increase your chances of winning. Look at what your school and you can win:
Prizes You can Win for Yourself:
- $150 Care.com FreeTime credits* (5 winners)
- 2 Kiwi Crate 3-month Subscriptions (2 winners)
- $75 Cabot Creamery Gift Box (15 winners)
- $100 Gift Certificate to Afterschool.com (1 winner)
Prizes You can Win for Your Favorite Afterschool Group:
- $500 Fun Grant from Care.com (an Amex card to fund a trip, a celebration, uniforms or equipment)
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Just for entering, you’ll receive:
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AND you’ll be automatically entered to win a $1,500 Grant for your favorite School in our BIG Back to School Sweepstakes! (3 winners)
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I had confided in my friend a few months ago and it’s pretty obvious that she shared what I told her with her husband. I feel hurt and betrayed and embarrassed and like my friendship with her is over.
Is it worth trying to repair it or do you think once the trust is gone, it’s gone forever?
Dear Don’t Blab,
Oh, friends and their husbands, don’t get me started.
I once had a friend who told me that she had a “no secrets” policy with her spouse, which apparently meant that she told him every bit of information she had gathered throughout the day. I was confused by such a thing, but also took it as a fair warning that if I were talking to her, he would eventually get the information. I hope you can appreciate how difficult it was for me to plan his surprise party.
But I appreciated her letting me know. Because if my confidence was going to be shared with Mr. Friend, I had the right to decide what I talked to her about. And it definitely tempered our discussions to topics like weather, kids today, and those bozos in D.C.
Your situation is obviously different because you had no idea that you would be betrayed. Which is pretty much the worst kind of surprise there is. But before we cross-stitch a scarlet B for Blabbermouth on your friend’s spring tunic, you need to make sure that she did, in fact, tell her husband. Is it possible that she did not? Is it possible that he knows this information from another source (it’s not too late to suspect other friends!) Or maybe he doesn’t know the confidence at all, but was alluding to something else entirely?
Either way, talk to your friend. Explain what your expectations are and how hurt you would be if she were to share the things you told her with anyone else.
If she did betray your trust, you’ll have to decide if your friendship can survive it; and if it can, whether it will change how much you share with her.
But give her a chance. Making new friends is so time consuming. Maybe she did nothing wrong. Maybe she will change her ways. Maybe she’ll have some great gossip about someone else to distract you with.
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I am 24 years old and my husband is 28. We have been together for 5 1/2 years and married for 5 months. We are both college grads with well paying jobs, good cars and a nice house. I am ready to have a baby-I’ve got the fever! My husband is not ready yet. He wants to wait another year or two. I could give you 10 million reasons why I want a baby, but as women I am sure you know them all!
I work from home, and lately I have been reading pre-natal health books, pinning nursery ideas, researching baby names and pricing out nursery furniture and safe car seats.
What do I do!?!?!?!?! How can I get him to want a baby as much as I do?
Dear Tick Tock,
Oh, girl. You’ve got baby fever and you’ve got it bad! Unfortunately, it’s not a contagious disease, so I don’t think your husband will catch it, but I do have some medicine that might help reduce your symptoms:
1. Search colicky baby on YouTube.
2. Ask a friend with a toddler if you can babysit, then take the kid to the playground with a toy stroller. Watch other toddlers try to play with the stroller. Try to get them to take turns. [Maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh!]
3. Take a five year old to Chuck E. Cheese in the middle of the day on a Saturday. Do not bring earplugs — no cheating! Try not to think about all the germs in that habitrail-like crawl space thing that probably never gets cleaned by anyone.
But seriously, what’s the rush? You’re only 24, you’ve only been married for 5 months, and your husband isn’t saying he’s not sure he wants kids, he just wants to wait a couple of years (maybe even less). I have to say, I think that is totally reasonable. Have fun! Revel in that first year of marriage. Enjoy the freedom of being able to go out on a whim (babysitting is super-expensive, yo), travel places with only a carry-on, spend a weekend binge-watching Friday Night Lights, make last minute plans at least once a week, and for heaven’s sake SLEEP!!!! Seriously, I would almost pay you good money to sleep and then report back to me about what it was like. Almost.
Look, I get it. I’ve been where you are. It turns out 8-month-olds in fleece-y buntings are my kryptonite — they look so snuggly, and they’re at that yummy stage where they are just starting to show their personalities after months of just eating, pooping and sleeping, and you just know their necks are sooooo soft and smell sooooo good and ZOMGZ!! Just thinking about it almost makes me want to go for a third. Almost. But having a baby is just the beginning, and while becoming a parent is life-changing and amazing and full of joy, it also has intense moments of stress that can test even the strongest of marriages.
So, my advice is for you to take a breath, put down the baby books, live in the moment, and maybe revisit the idea on your one year anniversary…perhaps while wearing some racy lingerie.
It’s time for a STFU Parents book giveaway!
That’s right, we’re giving one lucky reader a brand-new, sparkly copy of Blair Koenig’s new book- STFU Parents: The Jaw-Dropping, Self-Indulgent, and Occasionally Rage-Inducing World of Parent Overshare.
What? Not familiar with that world?
It’s the world in which parents, commonly new parents, feel that whatever their children are doing is social media-worthy and Facebook status updatable.
Everything from a baby’s bowel movements, the size of their genitalia, to humblebrags about how intelligent the tykes are, these oversharing parents are out of control (and often, it seems, semi-literate.) And because it’s apparently impossible to stop them, and who the hell wants to join them, we just need to sit back and laugh.
Because we’ve all been there. We’ve all been subjected to friends/co-workers/parolees who overshare. We remember how in the very ancient time before Facebook, one of our friends told us about her baby’s bowel movement and the uncanny way that it changed from meconium to stool. And we remember thinking, “Hey! Let’s not be having this conversation!”
And we bet we’re not alone! So leave us a comment about an overshare that you either overheard or (gasp!) participated in, and we’ll pick a random winner on April 2nd!
Now we have to check our baby’s diaper. You never know what surprise could be waiting for us!